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I had to stage a sit-in so that my father's doctor would talk to me. Then I had to fight so that he would schedule tests to find out why my father had ballooned +70 pounds in less than 6 mos. The nurses claimed it was over-eating. Right. That's why his ankles were swollen to the point that he couldn't walk.

I got so mad watching all the other seniors being stripped or all dignity or ignored even when calling for help that I decided to do something about it. I'm asking anyone with a story to share to get in touch with me. I'm going to compile true accounts into a book and distribute it everywhere possible. People need to know what happens in these places.

Most folks go to visit loved ones on evenings and weekends and make a determination about the level of care based on what they see during that limited time. Try to voice concerns and see what happens. Ask to speak to a doctor and see how far you get. I met several people who were concerned but afraid to ask questions for fear of how their mom or dad would be treated as a result.

This is wrong. My parents worked all their lives. They paid taxes. They pay for my father to be in a nursing home. Doctors and nurses are paid to perform a service. When did it become optional for them to treat patients with dignity and respect? Unless we are lucky enough to be killed by a mac truck, we too will find ourselves at their mercy. It's time to bring attention to the situation. Please share your stories. Anonymity assured.

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I'd like to point you to the book "Improving Hospital Care for Persons with Dementia" by Silverstein and Maslow. It is an eye-opener.
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Thank you very much. I'll look for it.
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KatalinDouglas,

I just wrote an article for AgingCare about this very topic and my own experience with the neglect I saw...

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/finding-nursing-home-caregiver-experience-156113.htm
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Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm glad you got your mom into a better facility.
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KatalinDouglas,

Thanks. If you need any assistance regarding the book idea let me know.
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Thank you very much.
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You will need more than a book, you will need an encyclopedia. There are so many news stories and court cases. I have witnessed horrible care in hospitals, assisted living facilities, nursing homes etc . An immediate fix would be to require all nursing homes and assisted living facilities to provide the names and contact info for family members of those in the facilities so they can compare info, discuss issues and go to the administration in a group. When isolated, there are fears of retribution (it is a real fear - from having your loved one sent off to a hospital to get rid of them to having a family member banned from the facility.

Another fix, put family members on the state agency board that goes and inspects these facilities. They know what to look for.

The best solution would be for people to only use these facilities as a last resort. States should be required to provide the same funding for those who want to arrange for care in their homes vs what is paid a nursing home under medicaid. or other state or federal funding.
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I appreciate your feedback. What got me thinking about compiling the stories into a book is that over the years, I've heard people complain about how badly patients are treated in these facilities then once their loved ones pass on, there's nothing more said about it. Seeing what's happening to my dad is my first brush with all this and what I've seen is nasty.
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