I was a caregiver for almost 6 years. First my grandma and then my mom. I didn't receive much help so my life revolved around them. I lost touch with friends and family. Now both of them have passed away, and it is hard to pick up your life again. I'm trying to try new things and to make new friends, but some days it feels overwhelming. My mom was always the person I could talk to even when she would have a hard time responding. I loved them both and being alone is hard. I'm not sure what was harder being the sole caregiver without a lot of help, or trying to live without them and being alone. It almost feels like I gave up my chance at a family when I took care of them, but I can't regret doing it because they are so important to me. I just had to talk to some one and this is all I have right now.
I was not my late mother's executor, but I was the only survivor who lived reasonably close to mom. I became the executor's "shadow figure," because I was frequently the only one who knew so-and-so's phone number.... knew mom's neighbors..... knew where fill-in-the-blank was stashed.....had keys to certain buildings..... knew who my parents' insurance agents, handymen, financial planner & lawyer were..... "had time" to make a jillion trips to cemetery, family home, real estate holdings, you name it.
I didn't get to "put it all behind me" and just....mourn. One year+ of re-living every nook and cranny of a sad passing and half-baked estate planning. It's hard to properly grieve your parent when his/her immediate legacy is chores, phone calls, unanswered questions and reams of paperwork.
Hang in there. You will be grumpy and feel lost and have zombie moments. If your mourning is a slow burn with some dips and curves, so be it. We get so entangled with the last parent. It's a rough ride.
Blessing my friend, you'll make it.
Carol