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Mom spent three days in hospital due to dizziness, probably caused by not eating for three days. She told the EMTs she had stopped taking her meds because didn’t want to take them anymore. She also said she fell in the house, with only a scraped knee - nothing broken or other injury. Many tests later and a week in the hospital, she is healthy as a horse, considering bp and pre diabetic meds not taken for who knows how long, as she doesn’t recall.



She was gifted with a Medicare bed in a very nice facility for rehab late Saturday night. Because she cannot hear and won’t accept the thought of a hearing aid, she may not have heard doctors, nurses and I say she needs rehab to strengthen legs and hopefully dispelling her fear of getting around.



she was engaged on entry to rehab, enjoyed the attention by staffs and did very well with PT eval Sunday, which I happened to be there for. Yesterday, she used some of her personal care products and gave the ‘okay’ for the clothes I brought for her. Took her to a cafe area, we had snacks, engaged with some of the staff and I wheeled her to the library where she picked out a magazine and a we returned to her room.



Today, once I finally reached Mom and after saying hello to me, she just stopped talking. I talked normally, then increased my volume a few times, but not another syllable left her lips. I started to think the phone dropped, but I didn’t hear anything like that. I could hear the woman in the next bed, too. Finally, I said that 3pm was bingo and that someone would come around for her if she wanted to go.



I had not planned on visiting her today, as I had work and visited yesterday. I called the nurse‘s station who said she was lying in bed and had not eaten. Then appeared her phone was off the hook, as I got some weird message like the call couldn’t go through. The facility is a nice 10 minute drive so I hopped in the car with some things she had asked for yesterday - tissues and so forth.



Mom was laying in her bed, eyes closed and didn’t open when I arrived. Asked if she could hear me and said she didn’t want any conversation. I tried various subjects, but had a tens jaw and kept her eyes closed. I left to get a break and returned a short while later. Still in the same position with phone off the hook and lunch untouched, I asked if she would talk to me. Saying nothing, I said if she needed me she could let the nurse know and that I was leaving her items requested nearby. No response. Nurse said she tried talking to her. Mom said if she needed the nurse, she would call.



I’m kinda broken hearted because it’s my mom, after all. But it’s the way my parents lived. If they didn’t like something you did or if you disagreed with them on ANYTHING, they would tune me (and everyone else) out. No way but their way.

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Kats, (((hugs))).

I think I might ask for a UTI test.

It took me a LONG time to stop attributed changes in my mom's behavior to psychological issues. Most of the time, it was a UTI or other infection.

Sigh. This is the hardest journey. We are here with you. Vent away.
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Kats, great big warm hug!

My mom punishes me with silence. To bad she doesn't get it's not any punishment at all. Silence means no flying arrows.

She's safe, being taken care of, it's okay to let them deal with her.

I agree about getting her checked for a UTI.

You got this!
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If there isn’t a medical reason for her not speaking to you, it’s sad that she is ignoring you.

I read your profile and it certainly doesn’t seem like this is uncommon behavior for her, in regards to wanting her own way.

Is she upset because you didn’t run back with the items that she wanted immediately? If so, I am sorry that she is giving you a hard time about something this trivial.

My mom would get impatient at times. I had to tell her that I would get her drugstore items as soon as possible but I didn’t jump immediately because it wasn’t ever an emergency.
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If her treatment of you continues to get her visits, then it is working very well for her, is about all I can say. Very sad way to live ones life, and all a choice.
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I came to say what ITRR said. Mom punishing you with the silent treatment should come as no surprise. If she continues this behavior, she'll be refusing to make progress in rehab and be released in short order. Providing she has nothing wrong with her organically, ask yourself why she's acting like this? Then tell her to let you know when she plans to be in a better mood and you'll come back to visit then.
Good luck Kat!
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My mother did the same. Her hospital visit was a party until someone angered her, then she shut down. Went from physically able to do things for herself (with dementia) to refusing to move, eat and speak even a single word. For weeks. At that age, you use it or lose it. And she lost it.

Hospital ran lots lots of tests, thinking stroke, etc. No - behavioural. She eventually got mad enough to talk again, but found by then she couldn’t walk more than 15’. Physio tried to help but she got mad at them. Now she is bedridden.

It’s so frustrating when they are their own worst enemy.
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Just want to say, can't prove it, but sure my MIL played this game. What happened is it went too far and there was no coming back.

She went into the hospital early Feb for a serious UTI. She was out of it. Hospital released her to Rehab. We lived 900 miles away but were willing to come down and stay in her home and visit her everyday. Between us and another brother she was visited everyday from to 5 to 9. She started out by not doing her PT and OT. Then she just layed in bed when she she wasn't doing PT. Wouldn't eat. My SIL started taking Ensure in, we'd bring in a small milk shake. I did feel for her until her roommate waited till my DH was not in the room and told me my MIL was sitting up that morning and eating her breakfast and talking to the roommate. The roommate was an RN. I think she trying to tell me my MIL was working her sons. Since she was passive-aggressive so I did not doubt this. We kept telling her she needed to do the rehab and eat to be discharged. Eventually there was no coming back and she passed on Feb 28 at 91. Your Mom is not hurting you she is hurting herself.
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