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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am 79, and my husband is 77. He has had vascular dementia for 4 years. I thought I would feel a great sense of relief after moving him to the nursing home assisted living, but all I feel is remorse.
Obviously I don’t know you, but I wonder if the remorse is more sadness. It’s natural to be sad for what has happened, for what you don’t control and can’t change, sad for being lonely, sad for the changes no one wanted. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It broke my heart to see my mother in a nursing home, but I also knew without doubt that her care wasn’t doable in a home setting. You’ve looked out for your husband’s best interests, clearly you wouldn’t have taken this step without careful consideration and love. He’s blessed to have you in his corner
I think just about everyone feels remorse and even guilt, grief, anger, and sadness when they have to put someone they love in a nursing home. No one is ever happy about having to do it. Putting a spouse in a nursing home is different from putting a parent, sibling, or relative. It's different because we chose these people. We swore to care for them for life too. When circumstances come and we can't take care of them if feels like a failure or even a betrayal. We know it's not, but the feelings are the same. How about if you talked to a therapist to help you work through your feelings? There are even support groups for spouses going through the same thing as you and they're a big help. Good luck to you and I wish you peace.
When I placed my husband I felt about two days of relief before the other, awful emotions set in. It is so hard not to be able to see them all the time and know how they are doing. I have tried to stay busy and also connected with my other loved ones to cope - I hope you can find ways too to get through this terrible time.
Choosing to place your husband in a care facility was certainly the proper, but very difficult, decision. Making that choice for a LO, especially a spouse, leaves the flood gates open for all of our emotions to pour out. You were hoping for relief and you feel remorse. We never know what emotions will surface. We make the best decision we can for the best care for our spouse.
Emotions at this time can be conflicting. For me it was relief, along with sadness, worry, concern for my wife's well being, etc., etc., all spilling over at once. No one can tell us what our own experience will be. Although some in this forum have had to make the same decision, each of our experiences were different, and our coping with that decision was different. Your remorse is certainly a valid feeling. All you can do is accept it and continue your caregiver's journey.
We often hear to trust your heart. You, like myself, would rather have been able to care for your spouse at home until the very end, but sometimes our head must overrule our heart.
I'm right behind you, Sharmont. I've done the research, listened to his doctor's recommendations, picked a nice MC facility and next week we'll be meeting with them for an official assessment. This morning I woke up feeling incredibly sad and overwhelmed. I have prayed for God's guidance and feel strongly that this is the only way to go to keep him safe and protected. I'll pray for both you and me - that God will give us peace and a clear path to follow. ((Hugs!))
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
How about if you talked to a therapist to help you work through your feelings? There are even support groups for spouses going through the same thing as you and they're a big help. Good luck to you and I wish you peace.
Emotions at this time can be conflicting. For me it was relief, along with sadness, worry, concern for my wife's well being, etc., etc., all spilling over at once. No one can tell us what our own experience will be. Although some in this forum have had to make the same decision, each of our experiences were different, and our coping with that decision was different. Your remorse is certainly a valid feeling. All you can do is accept it and continue your caregiver's journey.
We often hear to trust your heart. You, like myself, would rather have been able to care for your spouse at home until the very end, but sometimes our head must overrule our heart.