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Welcome to the Forum. You first tell us that you took your Aunt into your home and that she has Alzheimer's dementia. If she does have this, how did you get this diagnosis without her being tested?
I am uncertain why you made the decision to take in your husband's aunt. I hope that you have a care contract with her for shared living costs, because otherwise any funds she gives you will be considered gifting, and she will not qualify to in facility care under any governmental air programs.
This isn't something to be taken lightly. Taking someone into your home makes it their home, and if they are disabled with dementia you cannot simply evict them. You and your husband have some decisions to make now, and you have painted yourself into a corner.
If you believe your aunt has undiagnosed dementia, are not her POA, it is too late to be made that. I would see an elder law attorney or APS now to ask about options moving forward.
Thank you for your comment. She rents a room from us. She was having financial troubles and we invited her to rent a room from us 6 years ago. I don't know if she has dementia I just know that she cannot concentrate during conversations and she gets confused answering questions. She use to be able to check out herself at the grocery store and now she gets lost doing that. I have no plans on evicting anyone I just wanted some suggestions on what to do when someone refuses to get tested to see if she does have an issue and what can be done to prepare for it.
It's not like there's a cure for dementia or any drug to even stop the progression of it. So if your aunt were to test for dementia and score poorly, verifying your suspicion, all you'd do is help her more with ADLs.....Activities of Daily Life. Take her grocery shopping or add her items to your list, help her write checks, help her bathe, dress etc. Based on your description of her symptoms, it sounds like your aunt may indeed be suffering from dementia.
Here is an excellent article from the Alzheimer's association talking about the top 10 warning signs of dementia:
If your aunt gets sick and needs to go to the hospital, ask that she be tested for dementia there during her stay. That's what I did with my mother and she was correctly diagnosed with progressive dementia thought to be vascular in nature. Meds can be prescribed to treat symptoms, like agitation or anxiety. Make sure the exterior doors have locks on the auntie cannot open to prevent wandering, which sometimes happens.
I would just assume she has some demtia going on. It's not going to change anything either way for her. Just read and learn more about dementia for you and to help with her care.
Best of luck to you, in this very difficult world of aging
IMO its important to find out if a person has Dementia and what type because of medications. If Aunt has not had a full physical in a while, use that to getvp her to the doctors. Tell her Medicare is requiring it. Labs should be run. An initial test can be done. If Dementia or ALZ is expected, then an MRI can be done.
Once you get the initial diagnoses, not much you can do from there. I would have her see a Neurologist regularly for no other reason but for medications that may be needed.
I wouldnt have called it test for... I would say something like a health check up and add - i have one in two weeks time then divert the conversation to something else. hospitals - tests - are all scary. Its a bit like someone showing you a video of an operation - you just dont need to go that far in showing or telling people.
There is a big difference between having an independant lodger in your home & having a dependant person relying on you for their care in your home.
So I think it would be reasonable to voice your concerns & have some investigation if you are heading into caregiver territory.
Does your Aunt have normal age related problems or something else? Either way, at 88 it is reasonable to assume she will need more help as time goes on.
You could consider going alone to the Doctor first. Voice your concerns. Ask for advice how to proceed. How to get a needs assessment done for future help.
At 88 it is practical for your Aunt to have some of her affairs sorted (if not already). - nominate a healthcare proxy - nominate a POA ? make an Advanced Healthcare Directive - stating her wishes regarding future treatments she would/would not want eg attempt resusitation, feeding tube
Note: not everyone is practical about such things. Your Aunt may prefer not to know or plan. Then it becomes you deciding what & how much you will do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You first tell us that you took your Aunt into your home and that she has Alzheimer's dementia.
If she does have this, how did you get this diagnosis without her being tested?
I am uncertain why you made the decision to take in your husband's aunt. I hope that you have a care contract with her for shared living costs, because otherwise any funds she gives you will be considered gifting, and she will not qualify to in facility care under any governmental air programs.
This isn't something to be taken lightly. Taking someone into your home makes it their home, and if they are disabled with dementia you cannot simply evict them.
You and your husband have some decisions to make now, and you have painted yourself into a corner.
If you believe your aunt has undiagnosed dementia, are not her POA, it is too late to be made that. I would see an elder law attorney or APS now to ask about options moving forward.
I have no plans on evicting anyone I just wanted some suggestions on what to do when someone refuses to get tested to see if she does have an issue and what can be done to prepare for it.
You have received good advice from posters so there is no need to repeat it.
Best of luck to you.
APS stands for Adult Protective Services
Here is an excellent article from the Alzheimer's association talking about the top 10 warning signs of dementia:
https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia
If your aunt gets sick and needs to go to the hospital, ask that she be tested for dementia there during her stay. That's what I did with my mother and she was correctly diagnosed with progressive dementia thought to be vascular in nature. Meds can be prescribed to treat symptoms, like agitation or anxiety. Make sure the exterior doors have locks on the auntie cannot open to prevent wandering, which sometimes happens.
Best of luck to you.
Best of luck to you, in this very difficult world of aging
Once you get the initial diagnoses, not much you can do from there. I would have her see a Neurologist regularly for no other reason but for medications that may be needed.
hospitals - tests - are all scary. Its a bit like someone showing you a video of an operation - you just dont need to go that far in showing or telling people.
So I think it would be reasonable to voice your concerns & have some investigation if you are heading into caregiver territory.
Does your Aunt have normal age related problems or something else? Either way, at 88 it is reasonable to assume she will need more help as time goes on.
You could consider going alone to the Doctor first. Voice your concerns. Ask for advice how to proceed. How to get a needs assessment done for future help.
At 88 it is practical for your Aunt to have some of her affairs sorted (if not already).
- nominate a healthcare proxy
- nominate a POA
? make an Advanced Healthcare Directive - stating her wishes regarding future treatments she would/would not want eg attempt resusitation, feeding tube
Note: not everyone is practical about such things. Your Aunt may prefer not to know or plan. Then it becomes you deciding what & how much you will do.