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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Looks like a very uncomfortable situation for you, but more information would be helpful. What is your question to the forum? Does father live with you in your home or ? How aggressive is aggressive? Does he have a diagnosis of dementia or mental illness? What are his other impairments? Hope this helps get your question answered....
You mention in your profile that he has depression and is bi-polar. Have you contacted his doctor about the behavior? And is this a change or has he always been this aggressive? Possible that a medication change or adjustment is necessary. Has he shown any indication that he is physically abusive to you or anyone in your household? At some time when your dad is calm, and you are not stressed or upset tell him that if he becomes aggressive you can not have that in the house and other living arrangements will have to be found. I would not suggest another family member unless they are prepared to tackle this, and it would not be good to keep moving him. If he is a Veteran look into help from the VA. If not next time you have to call 911 tell them that you are afraid for your safety and ask that he be transported to the hospital for treatment. There you can talk to a Social Worker about your next steps.
Seriously? Why would anyone allow a mentally unstable person destroy the peace in their home and potentially escalate to a real danger because they are allowed to be out of control.
He needs to be Baker acted to get stabilized and then go to a group home for mentally ill adults.
From your post I can gather nothing about this gentleman. Does he have a diagnosed dementia? Does he live with you? It may be time for him to be moved to long term care so that he doesn't disrupt the lives of others. Any answers I would like to give to you that could be helpful depend on knowing more details. Many go back to your profile and previous posts searching for details, but many do not. Wishing you good luck going forward.
This is from a post from August 2020: "He is on deed. He put down payment 16 Yrs ago. Since then My husband and I both pay all food, ultities and half mortgage payment. My father tells all family members he takes care of everything and we do nothing. Kinda frustrating. I know he has biopolar since his 50's. But it is hard to deal with verbal abuse from him".
Your father paid the down payment and pays half the mortgage. You apparently went into this situation knowing about his mental illness.
Why do you care what a mentally ill person tells others in the family? Do they believe him?
I think you need to see an elder care attorney to find out what can be done in this situation; this is your father's AND your home; it seems like it would be best if all moved elsewhere and offered to buy him out. But I would seek legal advice first.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you contacted his doctor about the behavior? And is this a change or has he always been this aggressive? Possible that a medication change or adjustment is necessary.
Has he shown any indication that he is physically abusive to you or anyone in your household?
At some time when your dad is calm, and you are not stressed or upset tell him that if he becomes aggressive you can not have that in the house and other living arrangements will have to be found. I would not suggest another family member unless they are prepared to tackle this, and it would not be good to keep moving him. If he is a Veteran look into help from the VA. If not next time you have to call 911 tell them that you are afraid for your safety and ask that he be transported to the hospital for treatment. There you can talk to a Social Worker about your next steps.
He needs to be Baker acted to get stabilized and then go to a group home for mentally ill adults.
It may be time for him to be moved to long term care so that he doesn't disrupt the lives of others.
Any answers I would like to give to you that could be helpful depend on knowing more details. Many go back to your profile and previous posts searching for details, but many do not.
Wishing you good luck going forward.
"He is on deed. He put down payment 16 Yrs ago. Since then My husband and I both pay all food, ultities and half mortgage payment. My father tells all family members he takes care of everything and we do nothing. Kinda frustrating. I know he has biopolar since his 50's. But it is hard to deal with verbal abuse from him".
Your father paid the down payment and pays half the mortgage. You apparently went into this situation knowing about his mental illness.
Why do you care what a mentally ill person tells others in the family? Do they believe him?
I think you need to see an elder care attorney to find out what can be done in this situation; this is your father's AND your home; it seems like it would be best if all moved elsewhere and offered to buy him out. But I would seek legal advice first.
People kill me with all these "mental health labels."
I understand you.
As far as aggression - I keep a distance where they can't reach me.
Verbal abuse - I would leave the room.
Personally, if I could not use these as solutions - I would have never invited them into my home to live.