My 87 year old father, who is in good physical health, gets upset and angry over every little thing. He hold grudges against anyone who disagrees with him, sometimes confronting them about it angrily. He holds grudges over things that happened years ago and repeats stories about why he feels that he has been wronged over and over again. I've begged him to let things go, but he continues to build up anger. I think he is depressed. It is taking a toll on my 80 year old mother who has heart problems. I live out of state and don't know what to do. Anytime I try to get him to let things go, he just says he isn't going to let others get the best of him. I've never known him act out physically toward anyone, but sometimes he slams his fists on the table when he gets mad. He has had some of these tendencies his whole life, but they are getting much worse as he gets older. Your advice on what to do to address this issue is appreciated.
You might also look at his diet. If it is high in processed sugar and starches, and low in natural healthy fats, those things can affect the mood, as well as cause brain disorders. Many people are loathe to change their dietary lifestyle habits. But maybe you could subtly add healthier foods to his diet.
no control over anything. Since there was nothing I could do (loss of control), I secretely emptyed the pencil shapener of shavings every day. "There" I said "I have accomplished something today".
There is another technique that you may or may not want to use. Whenever he gets angry, you stand up, put a wild look on your face, wave your arms, agree with him and take it several steps further. He may well try to calm you down and in doing so will calm himself down.