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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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It will help if you explain what you mean by "split personality."
But in general, dementia patients can seem very inconsistent. The disease itself is not consistent. Most patients have good periods and bad periods and worse periods. They seem normal one minute and terribly confused the next. Many can also "showtime" which means they can pull themselves together and act on their best behavior for a short time, for example in front of a doctor. This takes great effort and they cannot do it for all periods.
By split personality do you mean dual personalities? Those with dementia do not have properly functioning brains. They do not remember what they say or have done from one minute to the next. I imagine to those new to the ravages of dementia on the brain that it may seem like a split personality since so much is forgotten, there are mood swings etc. The mood swings are perhaps the most difficult. Imagine how you would feel if from one minute to the next you had no idea who people are, where you are, or how you got there. I think I would be upset too!
Mom is on "very good behavior" when she goes out of the house. She appears happy and is talkative, positive and personable. Everyone loves her. She has always been this way when in public. When she is at home she is angry, negative, unresponsive and in a bad mood. She argues about almost everything. Like I said, she has always had an extremely different "public face." The past few months it has gotten worse and worse. She has always been a yeller and a screamer. She has always had to have her own way or pitched a fit. These behaviors were few and far between however, compared to the nightmare we are living in now. It is practically constant fighting and yelling she has even tried to hit my dad. She is able to fool the doctors every time she has an appt. The doctors think she is doing fine, because that is what she tells them. We are at wits end. We don't know how to convince the doctors that mom's behavior is really disruptive and tearing our family apart. How can we convince the doctors she really needs some help? I am sure this is all very hard on her too.
Can you get a video of a tantrum for the doctor--and ask the doctor to refer her to an evaluation that includes someplace with a one-way mirror, and have you and mom wait there until she gets impatient and shows her "home" self. And perhaps an outside observer would notice things you could do to deflect the bad behavior.
OMG! This is so my Mom. We've been coping for years, helping her manage, getting her rough spots. We can't cope anymore. She is so vicious and hateful. I'm not strong enough to endure this day and night anymore... but her best moments are at the doctor's office. She knows, she hides, she lies. They think she has mild dementia. I'm sorry, but when you sit in a chair for 6 days holding a bill that you have to pay, must pay, are paying, and can't do anything else because you are so busy, and still need help filling out the check, this is a little more than "mild"
Ooooh yes. It’s called “showtiming.” Folks with dementia — especially early/mid stage — summon up all their good manners and pat answers and conversational charm for everyone except their spouse and/or primary caregiver. It’s so hard to take, when you’re the one who’s on the butt end of their real personality. Yes, their brains are broken, etc etc. It’s still hard to take.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But in general, dementia patients can seem very inconsistent. The disease itself is not consistent. Most patients have good periods and bad periods and worse periods. They seem normal one minute and terribly confused the next. Many can also "showtime" which means they can pull themselves together and act on their best behavior for a short time, for example in front of a doctor. This takes great effort and they cannot do it for all periods.
Does this touch on your concerns?