My 91 year old mother, who lives with me and my husband, was in the hospital with heart failure and liver problems. She was “out of her mind” for about 2 weeks. She’s now in a nursing home for rehab to get her strength back so she can walk. Before the hospital stay she didn’t use any walking aides. Her mind is about 95% of what it had been but the nursing home wants me to sign papers that make me responsible for all of her expenses. I don’t want to do that. Insurance is paying for the first 20 days. I can use my mother’s money until it runs out but I won’t be personally responsible for her expenses. My husband and I are both in our 70’s and will need our money to take care of ourselves. Am I being selfish?
Always ok to decline. No need to feel guilty. Plenty of great answers here to not have mom sign a contract with them. My gut feeling is that they are wanting money any way they can get it.
Hope you can find a better situation for your mother.
You might want to really look and read the documents they want you to sign (I know..... it seems like that stack is bigger than War and Peace). In some instances the agreement ask you to be responsible for managing a residents finances not for paying for them (I worked at a facility that did that). The difference - the former statement wanted someone who would pay for Mom's trip to the inhouse beauty salon (that's always a separate charge), come to care conferences and in general be a point of contact. The latter statement wants you to fork over your money to pay Mom's bills (DON'T DO THAT.............. EVER!!) Yep ..... I'm shouting because that's important. Don't ever use your funds to pay for Mom's expenses. Better yet.... get hold to an eldercare attorney and let her/him read the agreement.
She will probably be a great candidate for rehab and will leave the facility after her 20 days but there is always the "next time" as a possibility so get those ducks in a row now while you can. And if you already have all of the above documents, I'd glance and make sure they were all fairly current and up to date.
If the person is disabled, they qualify and, if I'm remembering correctly, any $$ they receive for medical issues, e.g., Medicare, Medical etc., is not required to be repaid upon their death.
Verify this info with a lawyer or on-line.
This is the kinda stuff you have to watch. Caregivers are burned out and tired. As such, they just roll with whatever the Nursing Home suggests.
I went thru something similar with my Uncle. I send them a monthly payment from his checkbook. They asked for his SSI payouts and pension benefits go into an account they set up at the facility for him, I said no and they accepted it, no argument. I filed for medicaid for him. The amount the facility said he owed monthly was higher then when the medicaid approval come thru so it was all adjusted. Depending on how much money your Mom has, she may need to do a spend down first, I did not have to go thru this. Remember, whomever you talk to at the facility works for the facility, get someone on your side. I know its overwhelming to take care of all this, but it is all worth it. Good luck and I hope this helps you.
If you sign the company that owns the nursing home will have the right to sue you for any unpaid bills
You don't need to put your and your husbands financial stability at risk to satisfy the greed of the nursing home company imho
Many lawyers will speak to you for free on the phone. Consider calling a lawyer to confirm what I have described above.
Re brain function and mental clarity .
Medical studies (and 2000 years of recorded herbal knowledge) confirm that the simple herb Rosemary will, over time, improve liver function, cognition, well being and happiness
When you get your Mother home you might consider giving her plenty of Rosemary (if possible fresh tops of the plant in flower..if not dried herb or even tea bags) with raw honey. Additionally adding rosemary to a morning bath or warm wash water will ease the aches, pains and stiffness that many older bodies suffer
Bless you for questioning what is best for your Mother