My 91 year old mother, who lives with me and my husband, was in the hospital with heart failure and liver problems. She was “out of her mind” for about 2 weeks. She’s now in a nursing home for rehab to get her strength back so she can walk. Before the hospital stay she didn’t use any walking aides. Her mind is about 95% of what it had been but the nursing home wants me to sign papers that make me responsible for all of her expenses. I don’t want to do that. Insurance is paying for the first 20 days. I can use my mother’s money until it runs out but I won’t be personally responsible for her expenses. My husband and I are both in our 70’s and will need our money to take care of ourselves. Am I being selfish?
If you sign the company that owns the nursing home will have the right to sue you for any unpaid bills
You don't need to put your and your husbands financial stability at risk to satisfy the greed of the nursing home company imho
Many lawyers will speak to you for free on the phone. Consider calling a lawyer to confirm what I have described above.
Re brain function and mental clarity .
Medical studies (and 2000 years of recorded herbal knowledge) confirm that the simple herb Rosemary will, over time, improve liver function, cognition, well being and happiness
When you get your Mother home you might consider giving her plenty of Rosemary (if possible fresh tops of the plant in flower..if not dried herb or even tea bags) with raw honey. Additionally adding rosemary to a morning bath or warm wash water will ease the aches, pains and stiffness that many older bodies suffer
Bless you for questioning what is best for your Mother
I went thru something similar with my Uncle. I send them a monthly payment from his checkbook. They asked for his SSI payouts and pension benefits go into an account they set up at the facility for him, I said no and they accepted it, no argument. I filed for medicaid for him. The amount the facility said he owed monthly was higher then when the medicaid approval come thru so it was all adjusted. Depending on how much money your Mom has, she may need to do a spend down first, I did not have to go thru this. Remember, whomever you talk to at the facility works for the facility, get someone on your side. I know its overwhelming to take care of all this, but it is all worth it. Good luck and I hope this helps you.
This is the kinda stuff you have to watch. Caregivers are burned out and tired. As such, they just roll with whatever the Nursing Home suggests.
If the person is disabled, they qualify and, if I'm remembering correctly, any $$ they receive for medical issues, e.g., Medicare, Medical etc., is not required to be repaid upon their death.
Verify this info with a lawyer or on-line.
You might want to really look and read the documents they want you to sign (I know..... it seems like that stack is bigger than War and Peace). In some instances the agreement ask you to be responsible for managing a residents finances not for paying for them (I worked at a facility that did that). The difference - the former statement wanted someone who would pay for Mom's trip to the inhouse beauty salon (that's always a separate charge), come to care conferences and in general be a point of contact. The latter statement wants you to fork over your money to pay Mom's bills (DON'T DO THAT.............. EVER!!) Yep ..... I'm shouting because that's important. Don't ever use your funds to pay for Mom's expenses. Better yet.... get hold to an eldercare attorney and let her/him read the agreement.
She will probably be a great candidate for rehab and will leave the facility after her 20 days but there is always the "next time" as a possibility so get those ducks in a row now while you can. And if you already have all of the above documents, I'd glance and make sure they were all fairly current and up to date.
Always ok to decline. No need to feel guilty. Plenty of great answers here to not have mom sign a contract with them. My gut feeling is that they are wanting money any way they can get it.
Hope you can find a better situation for your mother.
This is how nursing homes work and get away with it. If they have information like SS numbers and bank accounts numbers they will withdraw money from the account whether you like it or not. It happened to me when my father was in one and at the time they did it insurance was paying for everything. I went through hell and high water to get that money back. Then I had to make all new bank accounts so the nursing home didn't have the banking information. The nursing home was only paid what they were owed and not a penny more. Also, don't take their word for it about when the insurance expires and stops paying. They will lie about that too in order to collect double and get away with it. They did it to us. You check with Medicare and insurance about when they will stop paying. They also bill a month in advance a bed and services that haven't even been given yet.
They will tell you and your mom that she owns money in arrears. She doesn't. They want payment a month in advance. So, if she comes home on say the first of a month, she's paying $10,000 to $15,000 a month extra because they bill ahead.
Absolutely refuse to give them any of this information on your mom. They will not throw her out because you insist on a written, itemized bill for her care once a month. Good luck.
This way, if she dies you do not have to pay her bills.
Do not sign the paperwork.
Do not pay any of her bills, if she dies. You are not legally responsible to pay the bills of a dead person unless you are co-owner of a home or a credit card.
You are definitely not being selfish.
The medical profession and Nursing Homes in particular are well known for trying to make Adult Children responsible for the cost of their parents, siblings and other family members. SAY NO!!!! Do not cave in. I write this reply from the patients perspective. I was diagnosed with Early Onset ALZ more than 4.5 yrs ago. MY DW and I took what we thought were all the right moves to protect our family from driving itself in to bankruptcy I was personally responsible when my oldest child was in Neonatal ICU the first five weeks of his life. My ex and I did not have health insurance at the time. We paid what we could, but in order to stay afloat, we had to go the Bankruptcy route, which you could find yoursel in taking on Mom's medical bills.
I suggest you reach out a Medicaid for guidance on how to move forward. The nursing home isn't likely going to help you with that. Perhaps I'm wrong. Protect your finances to take care of yourself, and do what you can for your mother. I wish you good luck in the future. DON"T PAY !!!!
God Bless you, prayers are going up. John
my husband’s family is pressuring us, my mother’s family pressuring me , to do financial things. Is not going to happen. My mom never worked , while her children were at school , my mom sat and played solitaire, watched soaps. She now has the dreaded hump back .... hmmmm wonder why.... but in any case , I started working as junior in high school, retired at 3 yrs ago at age 62 ... Regardless of what others think , I make those on the above criteria..
PROTECT yourself, don’t let anyone guilt or bully you .Do what you can, don’t do what will cause issues for you.
I am confused, when my dad went to rehab nothing was signed. Insurance cards were provided and that was all.
You can contact the ombudsman and ask for guidance if you feel like you are being pressured to do this or moms care will suffer. This information is readily available in the packet of documents that you are being asked to sign, if not, huge waving red flag.
A few years ago I came up with a special term for situations like this: "BS in its purest form"! The people telling you this are worse than corrupt politicians, greedy funeral directors and shady used-car salesmen, and I wouldn't trust anything they tell you until you verify it independently.
It looks as if you have done the first step correctly by refusing to sign to assume financial responsibility out of your own funds. That's why Medicaid exists.
But you do NOT have to sign saying you would be responsible for her expenses.
Cost of rehab and anything else is paid for by insurance then HER assets. If she has no assets then application for Medicaid would be in order.
BEST of luck