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I am living with my mother who's showing signs of early dementia. Repeating herself, forgetting things, saying things that she did but never did, getting angry when corrected.


However when she drinks she gets extremely violent both verbally and physically. Just about anything sets her off. She harasses my poor father and me; screaming and cursing and saying the most disgusting, horrible things.


She also attacks us hitting, kicking, biting, pulling hair. She kicked in my bedroom door and tipped over my dresser leaving all of my things on the floor. Also threw my laptop multiple times and tried to stomp on my phone.


I know I'm venting but just wanted to see if anyone else knows someone or is someone who is dealing with anything like this. I'm just so tired of never knowing what's going to happen next. I need to be here for my father's sake. He's 78 and not doing well but he still has it together.


She is still functional and can get out with dad and shop and go out to eat and would never consider care in the house. I heard about out patient treatment for quitting drinking but I'm sure she would not do that either.


Anyway, I'm just reaching out. I'm pretty much at a loss and am concerned that someone will get hurt.


Deeeee

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Here is a link to alcoholic dementia, which there is many forms of: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/alcoholic-dementia

I think someone WILL get hurt if your mother continues to drink and continues to act out in such a violent way; it's just a matter of time. I agree with DollyMe that you need to call 911 the next time it happens and let the law deal with her. If she gets shipped of to the hospital for evaluation, you may get some answers to your questions there. It isn't right that either you or your dad should be exposed to such toxic behavior from your mother. And you should know that it will only worsen as she continues drinking.

If you call 911 often enough when she becomes violent, she may be ORDERED to go to treatment by the court. That right there may be your best bet for getting your mother treated for alcoholism, whether she likes it or not. She needs to know that there ARE consequences to her behavior and it's not okay for her to hurt others or to act violently towards her family members. That you WILL call 911 EVERY time she acts that way, period.

Best of luck!
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Yes, someone could get hurt the next time. Many dementia patients display violent behaviour without any alchohol involvement. I also agree that 911 should be called the next time this happens. On this site, top right, click on Care Topics>Abusive Behaviour...it deals with physical & emotional abuse of caregivers. Also, see Alcohol Abuse.
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The next time she assaults' you or your father call 911, let the sheriff/police deal with her. Also, why don't you move out with your father if need be?

She will not get better, dementia is a progressive disease, as is alcoholism, she will get worse and you and your father will continue to suffer at her hands.

I wish you the very best, I hope that you make a good decision in your and your father's behalf.
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