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My Dad left the house at 5 am thinking he had to be somewhere. Then rang the doorbell to get back in. We didn’t know he had left his bed, let alone the house.
Hi, had a same similar situation. My dad sundowned & went out in the middle of the night, took off at random times. I got him the kervue watch-tracks everywhere in the world (fairly pricey) & put an alarm system on our house. It was a life changer. Good luck & sending prayers !
We got a door lock where you have to enter a code in order to open it. This means that in the case of emergency you can get out easily enough, but your Dad cannot get out. [We actually used it for an inside door because we didn't want my sister to wander near the steps. ] We used a very easy code: 1-2-3-4 that we gave to all of the caregivers. You can have the lock on the code going in and out, or only in one direction. Obviously, if it is an outside door, you would want it to work both ways. Hope this helps! We got it online...it was less than $100.
If your Dad is a wanderer, you need to put alarms on the doors that alert you when he is near the doors (he also would wear a bracelet or anklet). If he can learn how to use it, a medical alert device that also works outside might be helpful. It may be time to make the whole house safer by locking up the sharp knives and scissors. Also make sure he is carrying identification on him with his name and address. If it is too much for you to be caring for him 24/7, you might consider getting in-home care to watch over him for the nighttime hours. Medicare/medicaid might provide some in-home care benefits. Consult with a local social worker to discuss his options.
Maybe putting the mattress on the floor in their bedroom makes sense. They won't fall out of bed. They won't be able to get up from down on the floor and start wandering around the house. The downside is, they won't be able to get out of bed to use the toilet, but if they're in Depends, it won't harm the floor or bedding. Or just give them something to make sure they don't wake in the night, like melatonin or a CBD gummy?
Might want to try a bookshelf door decal on the inside of exterior doors. They are used at some memory care facilities to disguise the door so residents do not try to open the doors. They cost $20 on up. They can be ordered online.
DMadina: You are simply going to exhaust yourself physically and mentally to try to keep your dad from not wandering while living in your home. Perhaps the better option (other than hiring very expensive 24/7 x365 caregivers) is to opt for managed care facility living.
I have ring cameras in my house set up on my phone so I get an alert if any motion in my room and other rooms fit my husband. It immediately goes off and notifies me and he is not even out of our bedroom yet. Works great. Putting a person in constraints is scary, cruel and disorienting as well as dangerous. This will bring on agitation for them. At night there is “sundowners” to think of that affects their state of mind and adds to their wandering or anxiety. I put my husband down at night with s light on in the room so he is not scared. I put myself in his place and do all I can to keep him from going thru that. We could all be in this place someday and believe me it is sad and scary. I am honored to be able to take care of my husband and pray I can until his time comes.
I had the same issue with my mom , i went to Home Depot and bought a doorknob lockout device , its a metal device you put on the inside of door and locks with a key , makes it impossible to open the door from the inside ! It has been a god sent ! Good luck
There are door alarms you can set up that are quite simple and not expensive.
If you have a deadbolt on your door ...you can do something very quickly by simply putting tape over the lever on the inside of the door. If nothing else it would slow them down if they realize they have to remove the tape first.
I've never taken care of someone with dementia at home, but I'm facing the necessity soon. Everyone says "restraints" are illegal, but who is really going door-to-door in the neighborhood to see if you've restrained your elderly parent tonight? Don't people actually use some types of restraints in real life? I've seen seat-belt chairs online, where you lock the seat-belt in place and the person can't get up. Wouldn't a seat-belt chair be a good way for the caregiver to take a shower, cook a meal? Why can't you just lock dad in his bedroom at night, especially if there is a bathroom adjoining his bedroom or just a portable toilet? If you're going to fit the entire house with cameras, motion sensors, and locks on every door, why not go the extra step and have restraints?
I was an in-home caregiver for almost 25 years. Let me tell you from my long experience that there is nothing wrong with putting a lock on the outside of a bedroom door if you've got a dementia wanderer. Back in the day when I was first starting out we used to use a posie vest with a wheelchair. This secured the person in the chair so they couldn't get up or slide out of the chair and fall on the floor. It's not the same thing as a straight jacket, but everyone today is all about the "zero tolerance" nonsense which really only means zero having to think and have some common sense. Side rails up on a hospital bed aren't a bad thing either. It sure beats some elder falling out of bed onto the floor. A nursing home will put a mat on the floor next to a bed for a person who's a fall risk. Of course their risk of getting injured is far higher than if the bed rails were raised up, but they're not allowed to. Put a lock on the outside of your father's bedroom door. Put a child bar over the screen of the window so there won't be any crawling out that way. This whole thing now with cameras and senors to preserve dignity is nonsense. When an elder is at the point where they are out of it with dementia and wandering around disoriented at night they're past the point of preserving their dignity. What's important then is that they're safe and treated with kindness.
Speak with Physician for referrals to consider new assessment, evaluation of the patient ; there may be some medical considerations and treatments ( medicinal ) to consider. Also get referrals to specialist to help sort out safety needs in home.
That being said many people resort to: bed alarms, cameras, motion activated lighting and alarms, cameras ( all over the place), monitors with visual and sound.
" Restraints" are against the law...
Speak with Physician and others for guidance on what is your responsibility, accountability, expectations, liabilities etc etc re having such a " high risk" patient in the home.
Nursing home/facility rules don't apply in a person's home. When a family member moves a loved one with dementia into their home they assume the responsibility for their care and safety. There's not a full care staff on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's usually only one person. Maybe two if they've got a spouse but that doesn't mean they help with any of the care. Putting a lock on the demented, wandering elder's bedroom door at night isn't the same thing as locking them in a padded cell for days at a time. Using a posie vest to secure them in a wheelchair so they aren't getting up or sliding on the floor is not the same thing as putting them in a straight jacket. In homecare the caregiver (who is often family) also has other duties in the home. Like doing laundry, cooking, making the kid's lunches, vacuuming, etc... Sometimes they even have to go to the bathroom or just need a little break from the person. So confining them to the wheelchair in front of the tv for a little while, is perfectly fine. I can't even tell you how many times over the last 25 years that I've had to confine a client in their wheelchair or lock them in their bedroom temporarily simply because I had to go to the bathroom. Or needed a break from the elder for a little while. I would not have a client in the bathroom with me or if I stepped out to have a cigarette (back when I still smoked). Caregivers have boundaries too. When you're alone in the home with a client for hours and hours at a time, you need to have breaks from them. Common sense though.
My husband has mild dementia and is in a wheelchair; however, this does not stop him from trying to get out of bed at night to use the bathroom (or explore the downstairs). I purchased a baby monitor from Amazon with 2 receivers. I placed the base in his bedroom (downstairs) and leave it on all the time. I put one upstairs in the spare bedroom where I sleep and the other one in the family room. I can hear him wherever I am in the house. This has been a lifesaver for me as he doesn’t remember he needs assistance to use the bathroom. Yes, it wakes me up at night, some nights he tries to get up and use the BR 3-4 times. I finally hired a caregiver that spends 2-3 nights per week, when she is here, I turn my monitor off and get some sleep. In the beginning it was difficult to stay in bed and let her “care” for him, but I’m wiser now and know I need those nights to “catch-up” on my own sleep. I also bought an inexpensive home security system with sensors for the outside doors (you can also purchase extras for the windows if that is an issue), a camera which I placed in his bedroom, and a motion detector which will let me know if he leaves the bedroom during the night. Truthfully so far, I haven’t used the motion detector, the baby monitor alerts me to any movement in his room. There are many good ideas on this forum, hopefully one will work for you.
We had double sided key locks on all exteriors doors and had hidden places for the keys. At night (sundowners) he would especially want to leave and asked for the key. We would say we can’t find it and will look tomorrow. He eventually gave up and the desire to leave subsided more. It was the falling and advancing Alzheimer’s that caused us to finally move him to a nice assisted living facility that had memory care integrated with the whole facility so he was not stuck in a separate boring memory unit area like some do.
I purchased this door lever lock for my mom who was constantly wandering during the day and at night to the point that I got no sleep!...it was a lifesaver (link below)! Amazon.com: Improved Childproof Door Lever Lock (2 Pack) Prevents Toddlers From Opening Doors. Easy One Hand Operation for Adults. Durable ABS with 3M Adhesive Backing. Simple Install, No Tools Needed (White, 2) : Baby
Nanny cam with multiple cameras (Zmodo is mine) with night vision, and door sensors in addition to locators ( Tile is mine) attached in appropriate places on clothing, shoes, etc. Nanny cam and locators paired with smart phone. Don’t have smart phone? Invest in one and learn how to use it. Knobs off stove and a microwave that only goes for 3 minutes.
We put a latch on the top of the door for my dad BUT nothing is 100% fail proof so plan for the inevitable. My dad always carried his wallet, even after no longer driving. We made sure contact info was in his wallet. We also found small metal plates that we had engraved with contact info and weave into shoelaces. My dad did happen to get out of an unlatched door door one day and wandered 15 blocks away. My mom noticed he was gone and panicked, called me and the police and a hunt ensued. A wonderful man found him, by the lake!!!, and saw the info on his shoelace plates on his shoes and brought him home. That day we admitted him to memory care.
Did you know that placing a black mat on the floor in front of a door may keep an Alzheimer’s or dementia patient from wandering through that door? Some patients due to changes in the brain caused by illness are actually seeing the mat as a hole.
Youcan also put a movement sensor in his room. They are inexpensive and the alarm can be in your room.
Smart phones can now trace a tag they provide. You, again, could put the tag on his shoe laces or some such thing. You could talk to your phone provider about this.
Your internet/phone carrier can put a sensor on the door. A camera will face the door. Should your loved one "escape" a text will go off with a photo. Keep the phone next to your bed.
This feature cost about $20 per month. You can do a lot of add-ons with these things. How about some type of deadbolt that is not easily accessed on the main door to the house NOT the bedroom door.
I read an article where there some device if you turn the doorknob an alarm goes off. Has anyone heard of this?
We need to keep our loved one's "safe" but not feel imprisoned. They need to be protected and a lot of these gadgets you can go online for the latest. Your local hardware store can assist you.
I would contact your neighbors and local police so they will be aware should your dad wander. I have an ID that I am going to put on my mother when we go grocery shopping should my mother wander.
Does your Dad still drive? Sorry, but its time for him to stop. Disable the car, you or his doctor report to DMV and alert the police of an unsafe driver. ID bracelet or chip to find him and corral him into memory care.
When my husband started wandering, I had an alarm company put sensors on all the outside doors. I would set the alarm at night. If he set it off, it would startle him and of course, wake me up. During the day, even when the alarm was off, it would bing when opened and say, " Front door open" or whatever other door was opened. However, with dementia, each week brings a new problem to solve, and you begin to feel like the little boy putting fingers in the leaking dike. Sooner or later, you run out of fingers. Memory care becomes one of the only options. I'm praying that God will comfort you and give you wisdom. It's a hard path to walk.
Installing a wireless security camera has been a wonderful solution for me. I started with just one in my father’s bedroom but have since added several to other areas of the house. You can set them to alert your smart phone when there is movement plus you can deactivate the alert function during the daytime when it is not needed. I cannot speak for all brands, but I have been happy with Wyze. The cost per camera is reasonable (I believe $34.99 USD), and there is no monthly fee if you just want the basic view/alert functions.
I don’t think anyone else has mentioned this consideration, but I have found a few other things have helped my father’s wandering. Essentially, those two things are regulating his sleep and adjusting his medications. The dr had to adjust his medications several times to get the combinations correct so that he sleeps most all of the night. When I took over his care upon my mother’s passing (we have no other family and I, by the grace of God, became eligible to retire early six weeks later), I found that he was allowed to sleep a great deal during the day so he was not sleepy at night. Later during his care, I found that some sitters were allowing him to take long naps during the day (I have him about 130 of the 168 hours each week because I recognized early on that I would not be able mentally or physically to care for him 24-7 for very long). After I explained to the sitters what it does to him when he cannot sleep at night, they got better and his nighttime wandering almost stopped.
I hope this information is helpful, because I know what it is like to have to deal with wandering.
We added alarms to the doors and also purchased a GPS tracking beeper that Dad wears all the time. It s a great device because he cam also push the emergency button on the device if he gets scares or confused.
Can you provide more info on the beeper you purchased? In our county, our local sheriffs dept. provide a device to help find them once they wander. I haven't checked into it yet to know whether we personally can also track it.
confounding locks a pad under his sheets or on the floor that will set of an alert in your room when he moves off his bed oh..and if he's wandering, make sure he cannot access the kitchen. lock that door if there is a door to lock. Otherwise disable the microwave and oven, lock the fridge, lock the cabinets, lock the drawers, etc.
Scary! Wandering is often a clue that he may need to be in a secure facility (memory care) for his own safety. Someone else was talking about door alarms on another thread. Could put one on his door so you'll know when he leaves his room or maybe better to have one near the exits so you'll know if he's near them.
Door alarms seem like a great idea, but it's not great when they go off in the middle of the night and the spouse caregiver can't get a decent night's sleep. Ditto for cabinet alarms, bed pad alarms, etc.
You should not lock someone into a room even if someone is in the house in another room. A dementia patient could set the room on fire and not be able to get out. Actually that goes for anyone. It’s illegal everywhere I know of. It’s restraint, elder abuse, false imprisonment or whatever. You can lock someone in the room with the patient if they know how to get both of them out. Generally at this point it’s time for memory care.
How about making sure the person who is out of it enough with dementia that they need to be locked in doesn't have any access to matches or lighters. I'd say even check them for for a pieces of flint also just to be safe. Pat them down for drugs and weapons too before locking the door. Let's be honest here about dignity issues. Many people find the locking in to be one. When the elder's dementia has progressed to where they have to either be watched 24 hours a day like a toddler or locked in, they really have no dignity. At this point the goal is really keeping them safe and being kind to them. I've worked for many seniors who had a good life with their family at home. They were locked in their room at night when it was bedtime. No one slept in there with them. Most people aren't millionaires so it's absolutely ridiculous to pay a babysitter to sit there all night so they don't wander off. A family can buy a $20 baby monitor at Target and $10 lock at any hardware store and install it on the outside of the door. Problem solved in many instances. I can't see how it's better for an elderly person or their family they live with to put them in memory care if everyone is happy having them and they're being cared for by family. I've taken more than a few people to the store to buy door locks for grandma/grandpa's bedroom and even installed a few myself.
DMadina, if your Dad only leaves the house when it is dark, I read that putting a black throw rug in front of the exit doors, Dad will think there is a hole in the floor.
You wouldn’t know if they only leave the house in the dark because they can change any time and start leaving in the daytime. You can’t trust what they’ll do ever.,
Locking a person in a room maybe illegal. Its a fire hazard. My cousin had inside key bolts. Someone was with my Uncle 24/7. When he passed, my cousin had them removed because they were considered a fire hazard.
The door in my Moms area was a round knob. I bought child protective covers. For Mom, they just went round and round. For me, I knew the trick needed to open them.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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If you have a deadbolt on your door ...you can do something very quickly by simply putting tape over the lever on the inside of the door. If nothing else it would slow them down if they realize they have to remove the tape first.
I was an in-home caregiver for almost 25 years. Let me tell you from my long experience that there is nothing wrong with putting a lock on the outside of a bedroom door if you've got a dementia wanderer.
Back in the day when I was first starting out we used to use a posie vest with a wheelchair. This secured the person in the chair so they couldn't get up or slide out of the chair and fall on the floor. It's not the same thing as a straight jacket, but everyone today is all about the "zero tolerance" nonsense which really only means zero having to think and have some common sense.
Side rails up on a hospital bed aren't a bad thing either. It sure beats some elder falling out of bed onto the floor. A nursing home will put a mat on the floor next to a bed for a person who's a fall risk. Of course their risk of getting injured is far higher than if the bed rails were raised up, but they're not allowed to.
Put a lock on the outside of your father's bedroom door. Put a child bar over the screen of the window so there won't be any crawling out that way.
This whole thing now with cameras and senors to preserve dignity is nonsense. When an elder is at the point where they are out of it with dementia and wandering around disoriented at night they're past the point of preserving their dignity. What's important then is that they're safe and treated with kindness.
That being said many people resort to: bed alarms, cameras, motion activated lighting and alarms, cameras ( all over the place), monitors with visual and sound.
" Restraints" are against the law...
Speak with Physician and others for guidance on what is your responsibility, accountability, expectations, liabilities etc etc re having such a " high risk" patient in the home.
Practice good self care....you're gonna need it !
Best regards. jnm
Nursing home/facility rules don't apply in a person's home.
When a family member moves a loved one with dementia into their home they assume the responsibility for their care and safety. There's not a full care staff on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's usually only one person. Maybe two if they've got a spouse but that doesn't mean they help with any of the care.
Putting a lock on the demented, wandering elder's bedroom door at night isn't the same thing as locking them in a padded cell for days at a time.
Using a posie vest to secure them in a wheelchair so they aren't getting up or sliding on the floor is not the same thing as putting them in a straight jacket.
In homecare the caregiver (who is often family) also has other duties in the home. Like doing laundry, cooking, making the kid's lunches, vacuuming, etc... Sometimes they even have to go to the bathroom or just need a little break from the person. So confining them to the wheelchair in front of the tv for a little while, is perfectly fine.
I can't even tell you how many times over the last 25 years that I've had to confine a client in their wheelchair or lock them in their bedroom temporarily simply because I had to go to the bathroom. Or needed a break from the elder for a little while. I would not have a client in the bathroom with me or if I stepped out to have a cigarette (back when I still smoked). Caregivers have boundaries too. When you're alone in the home with a client for hours and hours at a time, you need to have breaks from them. Common sense though.
Amazon.com: Improved Childproof Door Lever Lock (2 Pack) Prevents Toddlers From Opening Doors. Easy One Hand Operation for Adults. Durable ABS with 3M Adhesive Backing. Simple Install, No Tools Needed (White, 2) : Baby
Youcan also put a movement sensor in his room. They are inexpensive and the alarm can be in your room.
Your internet/phone carrier can put a sensor on the door. A camera will face the door. Should your loved one "escape" a text will go off with a photo. Keep the phone next to your bed.
This feature cost about $20 per month. You can do a lot of add-ons with these things. How about some type of deadbolt that is not easily accessed on the main door to the house NOT the bedroom door.
I read an article where there some device if you turn the doorknob an alarm goes off. Has anyone heard of this?
We need to keep our loved one's "safe" but not feel imprisoned. They need to be protected and a lot of these gadgets you can go online for the latest. Your local hardware store can assist you.
I would contact your neighbors and local police so they will be aware should your dad wander. I have an ID that I am going to put on my mother when we go grocery shopping should my mother wander.
I don’t think anyone else has mentioned this consideration, but I have found a few other things have helped my father’s wandering. Essentially, those two things are regulating his sleep and adjusting his medications. The dr had to adjust his medications several times to get the combinations correct so that he sleeps most all of the night. When I took over his care upon my mother’s passing (we have no other family and I, by the grace of God, became eligible to retire early six weeks later), I found that he was allowed to sleep a great deal during the day so he was not sleepy at night. Later during his care, I found that some sitters were allowing him to take long naps during the day (I have him about 130 of the 168 hours each week because I recognized early on that I would not be able mentally or physically to care for him 24-7 for very long). After I explained to the sitters what it does to him when he cannot sleep at night, they got better and his nighttime wandering almost stopped.
I hope this information is helpful, because I know what it is like to have to deal with wandering.
a pad under his sheets or on the floor that will set of an alert in your room when he moves off his bed
oh..and if he's wandering, make sure he cannot access the kitchen. lock that door if there is a door to lock. Otherwise disable the microwave and oven, lock the fridge, lock the cabinets, lock the drawers, etc.
How about making sure the person who is out of it enough with dementia that they need to be locked in doesn't have any access to matches or lighters. I'd say even check them for for a pieces of flint also just to be safe. Pat them down for drugs and weapons too before locking the door.
Let's be honest here about dignity issues. Many people find the locking in to be one. When the elder's dementia has progressed to where they have to either be watched 24 hours a day like a toddler or locked in, they really have no dignity. At this point the goal is really keeping them safe and being kind to them.
I've worked for many seniors who had a good life with their family at home. They were locked in their room at night when it was bedtime. No one slept in there with them. Most people aren't millionaires so it's absolutely ridiculous to pay a babysitter to sit there all night so they don't wander off. A family can buy a $20 baby monitor at Target and $10 lock at any hardware store and install it on the outside of the door. Problem solved in many instances.
I can't see how it's better for an elderly person or their family they live with to put them in memory care if everyone is happy having them and they're being cared for by family.
I've taken more than a few people to the store to buy door locks for grandma/grandpa's bedroom and even installed a few myself.
The door in my Moms area was a round knob. I bought child protective covers. For Mom, they just went round and round. For me, I knew the trick needed to open them.