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I am caring for my 89 year old mom with end stage dementia. When I have a break and go to the shops or in public, all I see is the backsides of the elderly. Imagining how I will clean them.....helllppp!!!

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aw c'mon rose. its something we dread all our lives but im 54 years old and ive endured worse than cleaning up s**t. dont let the growing number of male carers show you up. caring is a part of your life that will seperate you from the self centered. grasp it and grow.. personally ive done exceptionally high quality work all my life, this will be no exception.
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I get misty when I go out for errands and see seniors walking around in the sunshine knowing that I may never experience the simple things in life with my mom again.
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Actually, it may be no different than women who often see children the same way. I actually caregived for elderly family BEFORE I became a mother and to be honest, the two are very similiar (especially the toddler years, haven't experienced those joyous teen years yet lol). But as far as feeding, diaper changing, trying to figure out what is wrong when they can't tell you, it is all very similiar to women.
I can tell since having a child when a baby of someone else's may be hungry, sick, etc. by the way they cry or whine around. It's different. Chances are, you are feeling the same. And remember, not all women mother by instinct. Some have to learn. It's the same with caregiving. Not all of it comes by instinct for everyone. It is different taking care of someone's personal needs than your own. It is different with a baby and certainly different with an adult.
I see what you are doing to be no different than a mom who has taken care of babies. Many look at other children and aid a new mom, help with feeding or offer a hand. You are looking at the elderly people you see and are thinking to yourself, "what if that was my mom, my dad? How would I clean them, help them?"
You are not crazy, you are being compassionate. Chances are if you are caring for your mom who has dementia, this has been emotionally overwhelming, just as if you were a new mom.
The similiarities are there (with the exception that it is much easier to put a toddler in time out). ;) Hugs.
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no were way different, thankfully. wouldnt life blow if we were all the droids that schools try to make of us? my, mom is flippin out tonight again. im once again an imposter and unreasonable. tough balls. i aint goin anywhere without a court order..
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Rosey, I think it's 'normal' really that you're thinking along those lines when you see old people. That's where your mind is right now, so seems reasonable to me. Like when you're taking care of a baby after becoming a new mom for the first time. How many years does it take us women to stop constantly moving from side to side when we're standing up? YEARS!! I'm 60 years old now, and although it's been 32 years since I held my baby son, I still have to resist the urge to keep moving while standing. Don't sweat it.
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sue me but i had no problem picking up a baby from vomit and diarreah and cleaning them up. i loved the ungrateful little f****s, what was i thinking? lol..
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Not everyone is the same. And that's okay too. ;)
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