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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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MsMcGr, was/is the parent in question abusive? That is an excellent reason for offspring to refuse hands-on care of the parent. In some cases the son or daughter or other relative may decide to be in charge of the care but not to do it personally. For example, the relative may be an advocate for the parent in a nursing home.
Allowing the abusive parent to become a ward of the state is often a reasonable solution under the circumstances.
Why do you ask? I see from your profile that you are looking after your depressed mother: was she always abusive, is there a long history of abuse; or is it more that you are getting to the end of your tether with her mood and personality now?
Either way, there can be many perfectly good reasons for delegating the hands-on care of your parent to others. The difference is to do with how you might feel about doing that, depending on the quality of your lifelong relationship with your mother.
Depends on the state. A few states have passed laws making children responsible for any $$$ medicaid has to put out on behalf of their parents but no one can force children to "care" for their parents. It will ultimately be the state department of aging (read medicaid) if no one is available (or willing) to help and the parents can no longer care for themselves.
Sunflo: "You have obligation to make sure youve done everything in your power to get her assistance." What kind of obligation? Legal? Moral? Psychological?
I think there are many answers to this, depending on circumstances. It matters who else is in the picture that could possibly help out, whether the parent has funds for paid care, how well the parent could actually manage on their own, what kinds of help the person needs.
I personally think the idea of calling Adult Protective Services and attempting to make the person a ward of the state is very iffy. If they think she's not a danger to herself or others, I doubt they'd take her. If they think she is, they might take her but then bring a lawsuit for abandonment against the prior caregiver. In my state at least, abandoning an elderly or disabled person is a crime and people have actually been sent to jail.
Maybe a little more information would help us understand your situation better.
You have obligation to make sure youve done everything in your power to get her assistance. If she is mentally competent or has not been documented by drs as incompetent; then she can make decisions to not move or accept help. And u can move on. Maybe set boundaries where u call or visit 1x per week to help.
You should discuss with local center for aging for guidance. You cant just walk out at this point.
But u can seek other care residences and gain her agreement to move possibly.
If they have not been declared incompetent and are mobile, then you can go on with your own life in most states. Unless there are laws on the books in your state that require you to be responsible for your parents in some way, you can not be forced into caring for a parent who is capable for doing for themselves, even if they are elderly and get confused quite often. If they are bed ridden, different story....that would be criminal no matter what state one lived in.
Best to check out the laws in your state concerning the elderly.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Allowing the abusive parent to become a ward of the state is often a reasonable solution under the circumstances.
Either way, there can be many perfectly good reasons for delegating the hands-on care of your parent to others. The difference is to do with how you might feel about doing that, depending on the quality of your lifelong relationship with your mother.
I personally think the idea of calling Adult Protective Services and attempting to make the person a ward of the state is very iffy. If they think she's not a danger to herself or others, I doubt they'd take her. If they think she is, they might take her but then bring a lawsuit for abandonment against the prior caregiver. In my state at least, abandoning an elderly or disabled person is a crime and people have actually been sent to jail.
Maybe a little more information would help us understand your situation better.
You should discuss with local center for aging for guidance. You cant just walk out at this point.
But u can seek other care residences and gain her agreement to move possibly.
Best to check out the laws in your state concerning the elderly.