Has anyone had their parent(s) been scammed by someone impersonating a celebrity? My 82 yo mother is being scammed by a Luke Bryan impersonator. It’s crazy the lengths they will go thru and the BS lies they tell her, she literally thinks she is in a relationship with him. The backstory is “he is getting a divorce and his assets are frozen”, so she thinks she is “helping” him. My sister and I have shown her so many things to prove this isn’t real but she just will NOT believe it. They even set her up GMail email account and my sister traced it to Nigeria.
My dad passed away in 2017, I understand she is lonely. They had been together since he was 16 and she was 13. It’s like she is a love sick smitten teenager with this scammer. The texts are horribly written, bad English, the phone numbers would constantly change, (Google Talk) she now has a “secret” phone to communicate where we don’t see the calls/texts. She is so secretive and they have HER lying to US. There have been many family members and friends to try and talk to her, she’ll agree and claim she knows-to tell us what we want to hear and she’s right back to talking to them AND sending money. This originally started on FaceBook Thru a Luke Bryan Fan Page and a wire transfer that the bank called us (my sis and I are on the account) for approval, due to it being out of character for her. She had a “deed” for property with LB and she was sending $166,000. That was stopped, however they have her sending gift cards, Bitcoins, they have sent her a check to deposit in exchange for a money order, and they now have her taking cash advances on her credit cards to send them. She has even tried going to a different bank and taking out a loan for $13,000. she has money in her savings, but we see every transaction, so now they have become creative. There is a current freeze on her credit because of all of this.
The local sheriffs office has been involved, as well as her bank (thank goodness for small hometowns!), the TBI and FBI have even talked with her. She even signed a letter with the TBI that if she continued monetary transactions that she could be considered a money mule and subject to prosecution, that afternoon she was back to purchasing gift cards.
She lives alone, still drives and does her ADLs, so she is capable of taking care of herself and not incompetent. This seems to be where we run into problems, just because she’s making bad decisions is not a reason to grant guardianship. She and my daddy worked all their lives and it is so disheartening to see her throw it away to these scumbag savages! This has driven a tremendous wedge in our relationship and she thinks I am the “troublemaker” and don’t want her to be happy. She thinks I have turned my (adult) children against her, but they are both upset by her actions, she is not the Nana they once knew. It has consumed me, every day, and makes me angry that she lives in this delusional world, it’s like she lives two lives and is “fake” about who she is, because her lady friends don’t know.
I am at a loss, it seems like every time we talk we end up getting into and argument about it. We used to be close, talk every day and multiple times a day, now it’s like I don’t know this woman any more and I’m grieving her loss even though she is still living.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed, I am 59, we both have a lot less years ahead than we do behind us. Who knows, I may leave this earth before her, but I’m just afraid at this time in her life and the distance we have between us is going to be a lot to bear when she’s no longer here. I don’t want to live with regret. We rarely talk anymore, even though we would text daily, but the last few days I’ve not responded, I have nothing to say and I’m just numb. I feel like, for my own health, I have distanced myself.
I'm sorry for the long post. If anyone has been thru this, please share. Thanks for reading and letting me vent.
These type of romance scams run rampant. Create an account and do a post and you will get suggestions on how to deal with this emotionally. Or if you’d rather just read and you will find dozens of others that will be exactly what befell your family member and read what others have posted as how to deal with the fall out. There’s a older thread on scammers posting as Hall and Oates separately that is a wild ride of reading… not making light of what has happened to you & yours but it does beg the brain to think that John Oates & Darryl Hall - both! - are at the same time your secret love interests but you can’t let anyone know. Yeah it’s those private eyes you can’t escape them, I guess.
The $ is gone. But the scammer will give her info to others and she will be approached both on line and possibly in person. Will be approached for “recovery” scam. And she will do the recovery scam as it will be a way to get you and the rest of the pesky family off her back and she can show you all you were wrong!
That’s what gets super scary in all this.
I have a friend taken in a very sophisticated pig butchering scam involving Bitcoin & who still has hopes and has fallen for recovery scams.
Very interesting about the “recovery” period, I know they go to all lengths. I have heard of the pig butchering. I hate the internet and social media and all the scammers out there!
This is exactly the reason to pursue guardianship: she has dementia which robs people of their ability to use reason, logic and good judgment. What she's doing now is giving her money away to scammers so that when she needs it for her own care, there'll be none. She can no longer make decisions in her own best interests. Please pursue guardianship (if you want to help her). Just because she can drive and do her ADLs -- those are physical activities. What if she met some creep at the store and brought him to her house? You should read some of those posts right here on this forum.
You don't have to become her legal representative and manager for her affiars, but please understand this won't go away or get better. Just look at what you've had to go through so far. Take control or go somewhere where you can't see, hear or feel the trainwreck that is happening in slow motion.
Can you tell me what I could look up to see some of those stories, I would like to send her some and let her know she’s not alone, it can and does happen. I think she’s afraid of the embarrassment as well. It’s definitely a SLO-MO train wreck!
You need to inform your mother not to expect you to bail her out financially when she has exhausted her money. I don't have any other advice.
https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2023/romance-and-crypto-schemes-combined.html
You tell us "she is not incompetent".
As far as I can see, she then is lost, for any money you cannot protect belongs to the scammers.
Your mother isn't alone.
Her case is so severe that I would consider calling the Dr Phil show, as outrageous as that sounds when I even write it. He has worked with people being taken in with scams for a long time and I am hopeful his staff may be able to provide you with ways to protect at least some of her money.
This, when it happens, is tragic. It is a sort of mental breakdown much like hoarding in which the person simply cannot let go of "their own version of truth" which is a kind of magical thinking.
Contact also AARP which works extensively with scamming.
I wish you luck, but hold almost no hope when things are this severely out of whack.
Dr. Phil is no longer on the air. Not that I was ever a fan of the show. I happened to see that he was leaving his television program.
Perhaps she could contact an investigative journalist on another show.
https://www.truelinkfinancial.com/
It's a pre-paid Visa that caregivers can give to their senior LOs who are not able to manage their spending well and need control and oversight.
Is the fake FB page still up? No telling how many people they have scammed.
Does your mom have dementia? It seems like she wouldn’t still be purchasing gift cards after the FBI have spoken to her. These scammers truly brainwashed her.
I have listened to a podcast that AARP does on scammers. It’s incredible how many people become victims. The name of the podcast is, The Perfect Scam.
There are 15 seasons on this podcast. This shows how common scams are. Maybe you can pick up some useful information.
Good luck with resolving this issue.
When I previously explained to her that they were fake accounts, she said that she knew it was fake and that she was just having fun. But lately she tells my bother that the Keanu account is real.
She hasn't sent any money and I am not sure if they have asked. But I belieev they are getting close... My brother mentioned that they were asking if they could send her money the other day. That sounds, to me, like a first step to get her banking information.
I've deleted and blocked TONS of the Keanu profiles - but they find her again every single time.
My Mom lives with my brother and stays with me part time. She is typically alone during the work day, unless she is with me (I work from home). She is very lonely, much like your Mom, as she was with my Dad for 50+ years and he passed in 2020. But my Mom also struggles with psychosis, depression, frequent, intense UTIs and several other issues (dementia? we haven't been able to diagnose that yet - but I fear that might be the case).
Like you, I am at a loss as to what to do about the messages on Facebook other than, once again, blocking this most recent guy when I get her this week.
It's frustrating. I'll be following this link HOPING someone might have an answer.
I wish us both luck!
Or, if there's no PoA and she won't assign one, then guardianship may be the only option. If "someone" doesn't control where her money is wrongfully going, please know the scammers won't stop until she's 100% drained and she'll never get a penny of it back. Time to make a decision whether or not to take action: the scammers will act fast so you need to decide asap.
Maybe it is time they did. If she won't believe you, would she believe them? Getting them on board my help get her to see the light...well, at least it is worth a try. Peer pressure is a thing, even for seniors.
Also, does anyone have a DPOA for her already? Adding a bank account that is only under your control and then transferring as little as necessary back to her might help. Tackling her money management even more from the fringes by placing even more hurdles to her money might at least slow down the losses.
No idea to help stop the arguments and paranoia though.
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