My mom just turned 80. She used to take dance and music lessons. Currently, she only participates in one class. Karaoke. Ever since we installed digital cable, she watches tv most of the time or sometimes goes on the computer. I have noticed that she is slowing down a bit mentally and physically. How do I convince her to be proactive again whether its exercise, crafts, music (which she loves), etc. Each time I ask her, she walks away from the subject. I also need time for myself to take care of the house and would like to try and start working from home. I am worried and don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?
Perhaps you can just start doing some crafting on your own, something she used to do, and ask her opinion on something. If she just walks away, I guess she's no longer interested.
Does she play any instruments, and/or do you? If so, begin practicing. Music is addictive and transformative as well. It might draw her in. Or just put on a CD of music from her childhood or adulthood. Sometimes that lure is just more powerful than anything else.
If it's music suitable for exercise, start working out. Hopefully she'll join you.
Do you have any exercises that therapists have given you that are for stretching and can be done sitting down? That might be easier for her to do than walking.
Many seniors like Lawrence Welk. In this area old programs run on PBS. If you can find some in your local schedule, make sure she has an opportunity to watch them.
What type of dancing did she do? If she likes ballet, put on a ballet DVD and watch it with her, and be sure to comment on the steps, variations, etc.
Trying to change habits and interests can be hard, so I wish you success.
Her main motivation is to stay in bed and the only way to overcome this is to offer options she finds more appealing. Most of the time she goes along with what is wanted by the aides, nurses, physical therapists and so on, just to please them. Then she seems to enjoy the activities, once she’s engaged in them.
What I'm leading up to here is that we have to exert quite an effort to overcome the inertia which is normal for Mom under the circumstances.
So, the inconvenient truth about your situation is that there's a new normal for your mother too and lots of time and attention will be needed to get her moving now. This is something to think about when envisioning the future. Blessings to all concerned as you adapt to the constantly changing circumstances of caring for an elderly person.
Karaoke is superb exercise - brilliant for her physically and mentally, and fun! I wish I could get my mother to do that.
There are youtubes of chair exercises. Maybe combine her enjoyment of the computer with that. In the end its really up to her. You can't physically force someone out of the chair. My 79 year old aunt found zumba classes at her local senior center and she loves it. God bless her that at 79 she can do that!
How about a wii? They have to still be around. Get one or find one at a center and have her play golf or bowl with it. The key is to find out what she has an interest in. You could ask me til the cows come home to go line dancing but I can't stand it, however if you asked me to go do karaoke I'd jump at it in a heartbeat. Find out what she likes and i bet she might be more willing to do it.
Good luck
Right now, the mind is the most important thing, after that, she'll have a desire to do more. Try gardening with her - getting her maybe a planter to where she can stand and plant. That helped a great deal.
Good luck!
1. There's a movement in gardening circles for "assistive gardening" in which gardening is done at raised beds. Wheelchairs can be rolled up alongside the beds. It's not as easy as if the wheelchairs could be wheeled underneath slots in the raised beds so the person in the wheelchair could garden from either side, but it's a start.
2. There was an assistive garden at the first rehab facility my mother stayed in. Working in the garden was part of patient's occupational therapy.
3. Houseplants or working with grow lights and flora-carts could substitute for outdoor gardening activity.
Perhaps even a small collection of fragrant herbs could be added.
There's something inherently therapeutic about working with plants.