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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Sometimes l can barely hold back the tears. Every time l go visit my dad as well as his recent declines. He is very old and in late stage 7A. ls it normal?
*Hugs* all I can say is it's normal and we all understand. Seeing your Dad decline is heartwrenching. It's ok to cry and let it out it is cathartic and healing.
Sure it is. What kind of person would you be if it were easy to see someone you love descend down this long slow slide facing loss upon loss while you stand witness to it?
We are all different. I don't cry easily but hold things in, and in tough times there will be something--a lost cat, an injured pigeon-- that will free the tears and it's a storm that won't stop. And for you the tears are always there, just waiting to spill. Your tears are a release and a relief if you can see them that way, washing out the hurt and pain. Allow yourself a place to sit and just weep.
I am so very sorry. Where there is love there is always great grief when we must witness pain. I am just relieved that you haven't taken on the mantle of "guilt" as you in no way caused this and you cannot cure it.
Your grief is appropriate, and unavoidable. Be certain not to stay stuck the whole day in it, for it has no power to help you or your loved Dad, and it isn't what he would want for you. My heart goes out to you. When my Dad, who was not suffering, but who was exhausted by life and ready to go for years, finally DID go I felt great relief for his deliverance from suffering. And I was left with beautiful memories. I hope the same for you.
How you feel is so normal and what you are going through is so so hard.
Years ago a therapist told me, “ If you don’t cry over this, [ wrenching situation ] then what is there to cry over?” Those words made me feel a bit saner and I pass these wise words on to you.
Yes its normal. Why wouldn't it be. Dementia made my Mom a frail little old lady. It was hard to watch. The worst for me was when she looked at me and there was nothing there.
Yes, it is very normal! It shows you are able to care about another person and what happens to them. It is heart-wrenching to witness the decline of loved ones. It hurt to watch my stoic Mom become diminished and struggle with her health, memory, vision and unable to do anything that made her feel useful. Being able to love and feel are part of what it means to be a human being. We mourn their losses and ours, too. Some people hold emotions in, others are able to more freely express them. If you feel like crying, go have a good one. Trying to hold it all in can make it harder. It may help to journal. Look for support groups if you feel it would be helpful and you haven't already explored that. Finding a therapist to talk things through with can be of great benefit as well. Know that you have many people here who understand and keep us posted. Being grateful for what we do have can be helpful. It sounds like you can put the love you and your Father have and the long time you have had each other on that list of things for which you can give thanks. ((((((((((Hugs))))))))).
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We are all different. I don't cry easily but hold things in, and in tough times there will be something--a lost cat, an injured pigeon-- that will free the tears and it's a storm that won't stop. And for you the tears are always there, just waiting to spill. Your tears are a release and a relief if you can see them that way, washing out the hurt and pain. Allow yourself a place to sit and just weep.
I am so very sorry. Where there is love there is always great grief when we must witness pain. I am just relieved that you haven't taken on the mantle of "guilt" as you in no way caused this and you cannot cure it.
Your grief is appropriate, and unavoidable. Be certain not to stay stuck the whole day in it, for it has no power to help you or your loved Dad, and it isn't what he would want for you. My heart goes out to you. When my Dad, who was not suffering, but who was exhausted by life and ready to go for years, finally DID go I felt great relief for his deliverance from suffering. And I was left with beautiful memories. I hope the same for you.
Years ago a therapist told me, “ If you don’t cry over this, [ wrenching situation ] then what is there to cry over?” Those words made me feel a bit saner and I pass these wise words on to you.
Huuuuuge hug…
You might feel better if you could sneak away somewhere and have a good cry for yourself.
I know if I could, I would.
Holding you in my thoughts……
Being able to love and feel are part of what it means to be a human being. We mourn their losses and ours, too.
Some people hold emotions in, others are able to more freely express them. If you feel like crying, go have a good one. Trying to hold it all in can make it harder. It may help to journal. Look for support groups if you feel it would be helpful and you haven't already explored that. Finding a therapist to talk things through with can be of great benefit as well. Know that you have many people here who understand and keep us posted.
Being grateful for what we do have can be helpful. It sounds like you can put the love you and your Father have and the long time you have had each other on that list of things for which you can give thanks.
((((((((((Hugs))))))))).