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When I go to see my dad in Goshen ny in a nursing home can I bring home back to Florida where I live ...my half sister says he can't .what can I do if she has legal paper work on him .he is my legal father ,she isn't his daughter..please help me
If she has the Guardian papers, he cannot be moved even by her without court approval. If he is on Medicaid, that ends when he leaves NY. You would have to re-apply in Florida and probably be on a waiting list. This would cost you a LOT of out of pocket money and you will be caring for him in your home 24/7/365. Please reconsider.
Educate yourself on different types of dementia before you go. Not everyone knows that all dementia is not Alzheimer's. Absolutely don't just assume your half-sister is making it all up. His recognizing you does not mean he has normal cognitive function, and possibly his care and supervision needs are beyond what one person can handle. His wanting you to come get him and take care of him may not mean that is really what he needs or that it is even remotely possible. Be realistic about what is possible and what is really best for you Dad - you may realize, as sad as it is, that he really needs to be where he is and what you really need to do is collaborate with your half-sister on how you can help and be part of his life such that he will treasure your visits and you will treasure the memories. Her trying to keep control may be for good reasons, to protect him from others who might be trying to steal from him - nose around on here and you will see lots of stories about exploitation of the elderly.
OTOH, if you go and the place is really bad from top to bottom, and he is actually independent in self-care and doing the Mew York Times crosswords, it's a different story, there are very different routes you would take to help him, but I think that is not what you will find. Sorry you are facing this and hoping for the best for all of you!
Evidently, your dad's Alzheimer's has reached the stage where he is too much for just your half-sister to care for by herself in her home. I don't see anything wrong with her wanting to know when you planned to come up. It's just good manners to tell someone when you would like to visit since who you want to see lives in their house.
My step sister wants to know when I plan to visit so that she can tell dad's caregivers at home that I'm coming to visit. She likes me to visit when she has a day off from work so that we can visit and discuss my dad's care alone.
For your dad to be in a Nursing home means that doctor decided that that was where he needed to be for the best care and his safety. You may want to read some of the articles on this site about Alzheimer's and learn more about it.
If the nursing home doctor considers him to be an unsafe discharge, I would not try to go against him.
Since he was living with her in her house in PA, how did he end up in a nursing home in NY? How far does she live from his nursing home?
Kathy, I have to be blunt here but I feel you in are in denial about your Dad's condition. Plus you admitted you have been out of your Dad's life for a few years, thus other family members are questioning why now. The fact that your half-sister been doing all the work says that she knows exactly what is going on.
People are placed in continuing care facilities because they need 3 full-time shifts of care. Alzheimer's/Dementia stages can change quickly over time, and especially if there is a fall involved. Have you spoken with your Dad since his fall? Some people can sound good over the phone as they are focusing on the phone conversation, thus not distracted by things around them. Once they hang-up, it's another story.
Please get up to speed regarding Alzheimer's/Dementia, there is quite a bit to learn about this very confusing disease. Go to the blue bar near the top of the page, click on SENIOR LIVING.... now click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE.... scroll down to all the articles.
The nursing home doctor may not feel that he is any medical condition to go anywhere. What are his health issues?
What kind of paper work does your sister have?
Being his durable POA only means that she can pay his bills using his money. Being his medical POA means she can have some input in his behalf concerning his treatment. If he is competent and can get to a lawyer, he can change who the POA is, but that is his choice.
If she has guardianship, however that would mean that he's been declared incompetent. You could take her to court to become his guardian. That, however would likely damage your relationship with your half sister permanently.
Ok my dad has always knew what he was doing and he has always been lived on his own. ..last time i talked to him he was fine and then i found out he fell and that is y my half sister sent him to a place to get better. .i understand but i dont understand y she wont let me see him with out going through her or her husband. ...im not going to hurt him all i want is to bring him back home and stay with me ....i think she is doing the is to me cause her dad is past ..idk but she is not to be trusted. .she was never around when i was growing up and it was just me and my dad...i just want to know whe b i go up there if my dad wants to go back to Florida with me if he will b able to
Thank u for the help .i have a sister in California and she knows my sister really well and i know that i have been out of my dads life for a few years but he is my dad and i wont let no one hurt him ...and plus he is a vet so i might b able to find out something through them i hope ....but if u or anyone else can help ..i need all the help i can get ...thank u so much
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This would cost you a LOT of out of pocket money and you will be caring for him in your home 24/7/365. Please reconsider.
OTOH, if you go and the place is really bad from top to bottom, and he is actually independent in self-care and doing the Mew York Times crosswords, it's a different story, there are very different routes you would take to help him, but I think that is not what you will find. Sorry you are facing this and hoping for the best for all of you!
My step sister wants to know when I plan to visit so that she can tell dad's caregivers at home that I'm coming to visit. She likes me to visit when she has a day off from work so that we can visit and discuss my dad's care alone.
For your dad to be in a Nursing home means that doctor decided that that was where he needed to be for the best care and his safety. You may want to read some of the articles on this site about Alzheimer's and learn more about it.
If the nursing home doctor considers him to be an unsafe discharge, I would not try to go against him.
Since he was living with her in her house in PA, how did he end up in a nursing home in NY? How far does she live from his nursing home?
People are placed in continuing care facilities because they need 3 full-time shifts of care. Alzheimer's/Dementia stages can change quickly over time, and especially if there is a fall involved. Have you spoken with your Dad since his fall? Some people can sound good over the phone as they are focusing on the phone conversation, thus not distracted by things around them. Once they hang-up, it's another story.
Please get up to speed regarding Alzheimer's/Dementia, there is quite a bit to learn about this very confusing disease. Go to the blue bar near the top of the page, click on SENIOR LIVING.... now click on ALZHEIMER'S CARE.... scroll down to all the articles.
Let us know how things turn out.
What kind of paper work does your sister have?
Being his durable POA only means that she can pay his bills using his money. Being his medical POA means she can have some input in his behalf concerning his treatment. If he is competent and can get to a lawyer, he can change who the POA is, but that is his choice.
If she has guardianship, however that would mean that he's been declared incompetent. You could take her to court to become his guardian. That, however would likely damage your relationship with your half sister permanently.
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