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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You are all still in a highly emotionally charged situation. Can you ask your Mom to wait a 6 months and then if she really wants pallitive care only you will support her? And make sure she has antidepressants for those 6 months.....
Yes, ask her to wait just a while longer. Give her lots of evidence that you love her, and understand her pain. Guilt her just a little, and ask her to give you time to get over Dad first. Chances are at least 50-50 that in a few weeks she will feel differently, especially with antidepressants.
On the other hand, I am mildly envious of couples who loved each other so much they didn't want to go on alone. If her health is very poor, it might be a kindness to let her go. I admit I'm grateful I never had to face a situation like this.
What she's feeling is normal I would think. She's having health problems, which must be frightening in and of itself, then lost the love of her life. I vaguely remember when my great-grandfather died, my great-grandmother was never happy after that. She followed him five years later. She got placed in a NH not long before she died and cursed her children, saying she hoped they ended up in one too. This was after she would go between houses, staying with one great-uncle for a while, then another, then with a great-aunt, etc. My grandmother would've taken her in if she'd had the room and the time. She was also caring for my aunt who was mentally challenged, so she would've had her hands full with her mother and her daughter. Just try to visit her as much as you can and let her cry, vent or whatever. I don't know what else to say.
Yes, get help and get her to hang on, whatever else is going on, she's just lost her independence, and now her spouse. She can't help feeling she's lost "everything" and most people entertain thoughts of "why go on" when in the grip of acute grief like this.
no she cannot come home. Im afraid id never get her to get out of the car.
My dad had a mrsa infection in his lungs, mom a mrsa infection on the bottom and my sister a huge infection on her abdomen abd she lost two toes. My brother will not cone around because his son is immune comprimised. So that leaces me working to jobs and attending to her needs and emotional welfare in addition to ALL the darn paperwork and bills etc which have to be finalized. Im exhausted as everytime i have a break or lunch, im doing something to work on my moms situation. I have a therapist but i dont think anyone understands how close i am to giving up. if not for my grandchildren and children id just lay down and die. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to help mom as she has no one looking out for her interest. Shes also is on dialysis. I kmow it sounds selfish but i feel trapped
My father had Parkinson's Disease and my mother has Alzheimer's Disease. My father developed a chest full of blood clots from not moving around enough. He developed pneumonia while in the hospital. I used my medical power of attorney to refuse medical care for the pneumonia. We sent him to hospice where he was kept comfortable while he peacefully slipped away in the night. It was exactly what he would have wanted. I still cry over losing him, and it has been 1.5 years since his passing. The holidays make my suffering ten times as bad as other days. I wouldn't count on antidepressants to make your mother's suffering lighten up rapidly. It took about 1 year for my docs to get the meds and dosages right. I would ask your Mom if she'd like to go to hospice and be left to slip away peacefully. There are no nurses in uniforms, no monitors, blood checks, etc. Just peace ... God bless and keep you and your family.
There are a few nuts here who will tell you you sound selfish, but most of us understand all too well. Give yourself a night off, and maybe get a bit drunk or watch a weepy movie or a nutty comedy. Your Mom wants you to be happy - or she normally would. Take care of yourself and her, and let some of the paperwork wait, if you can.
This is a triple sad time for you. The worst will pass, but I don't know how long it will take. Hugs.
Feeling bad about your mom. She need support and care from you .In nursing home they provides all care but family is important.Go to her,bring her back in home and give her all cares .I know you can do it.
i'm sorry for the loss of your father and this difficult situation you're currently experiencing. maybe ask the nursing home to see if they can provide grief counseling for your mom. see if somebody in your family (your siblings* or your grown kids) can pitch in and help with the paperwork.
*i don't know what your siblings are like but helping you out with the paperwork may take their minds off their personal problems. your adult kids may want to help you take some load off but don't know how to. if you know this request is bound to cause family issues, then maybe ignore this suggestion--it just seems unfair for you to have to bear the responsibilities all on your own.
stay strong, breathe in, breathe out, and take it one day at a time (i know, easier said...)
sorry, i just now noticed you posted this some time ago. it's late (i just got up to help mom go to the bathroom); i hope the situation has eased up for you by now...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
On the other hand, I am mildly envious of couples who loved each other so much they didn't want to go on alone. If her health is very poor, it might be a kindness to let her go. I admit I'm grateful I never had to face a situation like this.
My dad had a mrsa infection in his lungs, mom a mrsa infection on the bottom and my sister a huge infection on her abdomen abd she lost two toes. My brother will not cone around because his son is immune comprimised. So that leaces me working to jobs and attending to her needs and emotional welfare in addition to ALL the darn paperwork and bills etc which have to be finalized. Im exhausted as everytime i have a break or lunch, im doing something to work on my moms situation. I have a therapist but i dont think anyone understands how close i am to giving up. if not for my grandchildren and children id just lay down and die. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to help mom as she has no one looking out for her interest. Shes also is on dialysis. I kmow it sounds selfish but i feel trapped
This is a triple sad time for you. The worst will pass, but I don't know how long it will take. Hugs.
Feeling bad about your mom. She need support and care from you .In nursing home they provides all care but family is important.Go to her,bring her back in home and give her all cares .I know you can do it.
*i don't know what your siblings are like but helping you out with the paperwork may take their minds off their personal problems. your adult kids may want to help you take some load off but don't know how to. if you know this request is bound to cause family issues, then maybe ignore this suggestion--it just seems unfair for you to have to bear the responsibilities all on your own.
stay strong, breathe in, breathe out, and take it one day at a time (i know, easier said...)