After a slow decline in health from COPD over 10 or so years, Dad died peacefully in his sleep on Thanksgiving morning. For those who are just entering the stage 4/end stage of COPD, I offer a few observations:
-- It can be a very slow and increasingly difficult decline to deal with. Do not do this alone.
-- Get other family to help, and eventually hire caregivers to give you a break. When your LO's care becomes a 24/7 necessity, I hope you have the resources to handle that at home, but please consider a care facility/hospice house.
-- Aside from the difficulty breathing, you will likely notice dementia like mental decline too. Your LO's doc may not diagnose it.
-- Be sure to get (if you have not already) the Healthcare Power of Attorney, the Living Will (aka Advanced Care Directive), and DNR. Have the talk about what they want and do not want in care. Also discuss funeral arrangements... cremation or burial?
-- Bathing may become an issue
-- Although they eat, they will lose significant weight due to the calories that it take to breathe. They will have wasting away/cachexia.
-- Depression will probably set in.
-- Be prepared for unexpected mood swings and tantrums and anger and irritability.
-- They won't be getting good sleep, more like napping throughout the day and night.
-- Incontinence will become an issue.
-- Memory lapses, asking the same questions and telling the same stories over and over will become the new normal.
-- When they don't eat as much or stop eating the end is within hours to days...
Our father was in a skilled nursing facility (snf) when he could no longer walk and was a fall risk at home and needed 24/7 care. The first snf did not give him good care and we moved him to a new place. The new place got him in, medicated, in bed and comfortable as soon as he arrived. He passed within 12 hours.
First let me extend my sympathy to you over the loss of your Dad. Even when we know their life is ending and things they aren't suffering anymore, we will grieve. My heart goes out to you.
Also, thank you for sharing your experience and the signs to expect as the end of life comes near. I "know" these things on an intellectual level, but I failed to see them happening when my MIL and Dad passed. I can see some of these in my Mom already and will try to remember the rest of them as they arrive. Maybe I should (really, I SHOULD) copy and paste this into a word document and print it.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your knowledge. I appreciate it!
Sending you lots of hugs!💗
I am so sorry for the loss of your dad.
I’m wishing you peace and rest and that in time, you will have sweet memories of a happier time with your dad.