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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Please remember that as MS advances, the patient does not fully grasp the extent of their disability. She would end up calling you several times a day for help and you would be running back and forth. Discuss this with her MD.
I understand why she wants to have some independence, but it shouldn't come at the expense of your own. Where is she living now? Are there other ways to change her environment to make it better for her?
Sadi, I ask this not to be critical but just to understand the situation. You write that she wants to live on her own with you as a caregiver. That wouldn't necessarily be independent living, because you'd still be caring for her. I think of independent living as someone living on his or her own, being responsible for everything.
What stage is her MS? Can she manage a house or apartment alone? How old are her son and daughter?
I can see living with her son and daughter if they're old enough to help, but if you have to manage your own home and help out with hers, that's just too much of a burden. She's better off living with you. I assume her children stay with you as well?
Perhaps you can find ways for her to be more independent while still living in your home. Can she be in charge of some specific household tasks, things she can do while sitting down, for example? Like helping with meals, being in charge of specific aspects, managing the laundry or at least folding it? Dusting, vacuuming? Planting seeds or plants? Managing a garden?
W/o knowing how far the MS has advanced, it's hard to make good suggestions, but I think I would give some serious thought to trying to consider and implement a plan that allows her to be in charge of some areas of home management (as well as caring for her children) while still sharing a home with you.
We need so much more information here, like if the kids are living at home and if the daughter is wheelchair bound all of the time. Is the disease relapsing/remitting or is it completely progressive? How is her thinking -- flexible or rigid? We would really have to know the stage and conditions to know how much care would be needed.
BTW, she can have her own place, but you may choose for someone else to be her caregiver. If she doesn't need a lot of extra help, it might be affordable and you could still keep some distance for a while. Needing some distance is not a bad thing. It helps to keep relations strong and fresh.
So if she is 43, then you are about 63. You may still be strong, but the aging process only goes one way, and you will be less strong in future years. In an AARP ad on TV, the mother says about her daughter, "I want to be her mother, not her full time job." You should be caring for yourself first. I'm going to say to care for the children second, because they have a promising future, and they need a happy sane adult in their lives as young adults. To your daughter, you should be a mother and a friend, not a caregiver.
If all she needs is someone to do her laundry and mow the lawn, that's one thing. If she needs lifting and bathing and meal prep and someone to listen to irrational long stories and complaints, I don't think you should take her into your home or give up your own home. It would be different if she were dying in the short term, but she could live 40 more years!
Can you consult the social worker wherever she is now? They will know about resources that can improve her life. If she leaves the present facility, it will be harder to get the system to help. God bless you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Where is she living now?
Are there other ways to change her environment to make it better for her?
What stage is her MS? Can she manage a house or apartment alone? How old are her son and daughter?
I can see living with her son and daughter if they're old enough to help, but if you have to manage your own home and help out with hers, that's just too much of a burden. She's better off living with you. I assume her children stay with you as well?
Perhaps you can find ways for her to be more independent while still living in your home. Can she be in charge of some specific household tasks, things she can do while sitting down, for example? Like helping with meals, being in charge of specific aspects, managing the laundry or at least folding it? Dusting, vacuuming? Planting seeds or plants? Managing a garden?
W/o knowing how far the MS has advanced, it's hard to make good suggestions, but I think I would give some serious thought to trying to consider and implement a plan that allows her to be in charge of some areas of home management (as well as caring for her children) while still sharing a home with you.
If all she needs is someone to do her laundry and mow the lawn, that's one thing. If she needs lifting and bathing and meal prep and someone to listen to irrational long stories and complaints, I don't think you should take her into your home or give up your own home. It would be different if she were dying in the short term, but she could live 40 more years!
Can you consult the social worker wherever she is now? They will know about resources that can improve her life. If she leaves the present facility, it will be harder to get the system to help. God bless you.