I take care of a 94 M at night. When he tells me he's ready for bed I'll put him in bed. When I turn off the light, he begins screaming help his arm hurts his leg hurts you get the picture. Lately he says he doesn't know if he knew he would tell me just rude about it. I sometimes turn on the tv, lay in a separate bed next to him or leave the light on. He will fall asleep for a hour then he's back up screaming & he wants to get up I'll pull his wheelchair up next to his bed just for him to lay back down. I will go to the living room when the screaming becomes too much. He then starts screaming help again, I will ignore it in hopes he'll stop but he doesn't. I'll eventually check in and ask what he needs help with.... he then closes his eyes but i can see him peeking to see if im standing over him, doesn't respond back as soon as I hit that corner he starts again. I'll rub his back to try to calm him down but it gets to a point where I can't help but be short with him and straight to the point of what he's going to do because I'm not playing his games & going back & forth all night he usually cuts me off screaming cursing. I'm human too and this has just become too much guys I've worked in a facility for 4 years but this one here is for the books
It would help you to learn about dementia so that you can learn strategies on how to interact with him in more peaceful and productive ways. Dementia robs people of their reason and logic, their memory, their ability to have empathy, their sense of time and space, their inhibitions, etc. Teepa Snow has some very good videos on YouTube and I learned a lot about dementia strategies from them.
A couple years ago, he went through a phase where he would intentionally slide out of his chair onto the floor, forcing me to get the hoyer lift and get him up off of the floor. He has also flipped himself over in his wheelchair, or slides out of the wheelchair onto the floor when he isn't getting his way.
But the constant yelling for help or attention is the worst part of caring for him!
Sometimes I just have to take a break and go outside and calm myself before I can deal with him again.
Of course, it goes without saying, making sure the person is comfortable and their needs are met is the first order of business.
I have tried several different medications before finding what worked for him.
A combination of Depakote and Trazodone, either one or together (at bedtime) as needed. My nickname for the Depakote is a STFU pill. Because it keeps him quiet and calm.
I give the same "I'm not playing this game" response! Lol! And, he doesn't want to hear it, so he just gets louder, moaning or just loud gibberish over me talking.
When he's like that I just walk away. Yes, I can still hear him, and yes it is still annoying. But again, Go outside if you have to! Talk a short walk or sit out on the patio, sit inside your car, whatever gets you away from the nonsense.
I like to use that time to remind myself how frustrated he must be and that I still care about him. Sometimes I do a google search and read experts advice on how they deal with a certain behavior. That helps me to have a more patient perspective, so I am better able to deal with him in a patient manner, without getting so frustrated myself.
If you're not already familiar with it, look up perseveration. Some people with dementia (or other brain disorder) really can't help themselves as they repeat something like a broken record. If that is the case, the best way to stop it is re-direction. Offer a snack, or to change the channel on the tv, or something to change their focus.
Sleep disturbances are very common to all dementias, as are night terrors and sundowning in the evening. This is something that medication may be able to address. There are problems of course with side effects from the dementia causing falls, but as this gentleman, from all you say, is wheelchair bound, he hopefully will not become confused about bed and thinking he can get out of it.
Sorry, but this is definitely something you can't "sooth away". As you are working in caregiving you know that. There is no "reasoning" with dementia.
Wishing you good luck.
Other than that my only other thought is to just let him sleep in his recliner in the living room and see if he doesn't do better with that.
I spend time with a 100 year old woman who has been sleeping in her recliner in her living room for the past 8 years and she wouldn't have it any other way.
My grandmother did this too! She’d scream to get up saying her back hurt and she needed to sit in recliner. As soon as she was in the recliner and caregiver was situated on the sofa and dozing off, she would scream that she needed to lie down! There were also visits to the toilet between each of these. It was horrible.
I think doctor prescribed Xanax.