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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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just gave you a hug , go look at ur profile . as for you , sounds like need to ask ur doctor for some health nurse aid to come in and ck on u and ur wife , and talk to ur doctor about how ure feeling lately , and go from there ... best wishes , xoxox
Bracken Why don't you try to look for a place for your wife and go to visit her anytime. This is just the beginning. Will get harder and harder. Look for a Residential Care in your state, city. Takes a special person to care for these people. Not everyone can do this job. Don't destroy your relationship with your wife and don't destroy yourself either. I can help you looking for the places or agencies who does this job of finding places for people who need more care and the family can't do it anymore. Good luck and take care of yourself
There is no more isolating job than this one. When I first arrived at this website, I was angry at all the people in my life who seemed to "scatter" when I took on the role of caregiver to my Mom. I am not sure why, when you need the help most, you receive quite the opposite....is it just human nature? not sure. This forum has helped me tremedously. The ability to share the unvarnished realties of caregiving, has been a lifesaver. You are always welcomed to voice your frustrations here...or offer advice to others. My best advice, if you can, is to get someone to come in and take over occasionally so you can get out and clear your head. Being a good caregiver does not mean that you have to be with you wife 24/7. Hire an in-home aide, who deals with Alz patients to come in. Do you have family who could just fill in once and awhile? Do you belong to a church or organization who have volunteers? Our state does offer some respite care for Alz. The fact that you are depressed is a sign that you need help. Please do not feel that no one else can care for your wife the way you do. I have a paid caregiver who comes by twice a week to do personal care, such as bathing and other things around Mom's apt. It has given Mom someone else to interact with and gives me a little break. I am feel worn out too...and sometimes I do not know how much more I will be able to do. But we have to make sure we stay healthy for both ourselves and in order to help our loved ones. Good luck...come here often for advice....so many nice people here who are willing to help.
I believe each state has some sort of Agency of Aging although it will be called something different. Counties often have agencies as well. They can advise you on help available in your area. See if there is an Adult Day Care close by. My aunt goes to one twice a week and it has been a blessing to my uncle who cares for his wife. It gave him time to have some free time away from her and visit with his old friends and also is a great place for my aunt to socialize with her "new" friends and stay active since they have various activities designed for the Alzheimer and other disabled guests. Depending on your financial means, assistance may be available to pay for this resource. That is where the Agency of Aging comes in. They can help determine if you qualify for some type of assistance to help you defray the costs of getting some type of help. You can't do this yourself.
Wow--what a terrific reply from Lilliput----I was also a caregiver-I felt the isolation-and put myself on the back burner----until I joined up with the Alzheimer's Association (local chapter)-shared the experiences. You can possible get some good ideas this way as well as this GREAT forum. It can be quite difficult to remain positive when things look like gloom and doom-but there are no alternatives. Stay Strong! Hap
Hi. Lewy Body Dementia has a great site with great support too that I found very helpful www.lbda.org also my dad has lbd type dementia.
All his symptoms get really bad with any type of cold, allergy, sleep medications. So he no longer gets any of that stuff.
His symptoms are he gets confused, unable to think, has hallucinations, etc... then will have a great week and you'd think he was cured! It is a roller coaster.
He has just gone through 10 weeks of STRONG antibiotics IV and pill form to cure a bone infection. THAT cleared up so many of the problems he has had for the past 3 years! OMG. He no longer suffers from a chronic runny nose, he is completely clear headed and normal mentally, and many of his terrible aches and pains in his legs and back are gone...
Now with Lewy Body (if he has it) this could just be one of those weird "good times" and he could revert back but for now we are having some good days. At least I think the runny nose if gone for good.
bracken....Bless you. The job you are doing is a lonely one and it is so true that friends and family scatter when you need them the most. I care for both of my parents in my home and I sometimes feel very depressed. I talked to my doctor about this and I now take medication. Also, come back here often. My parents have been with me for 2 years and in the beginning I would not have survived without the loving caring people on this site. I would be locked up somewhere and my parents would be in an NH. Try to find someone to give you a break if only for an hour. My "therapy" is going swimming with my grandchildren for an hour twice a week while hubby stays with Mom and Dad. If there is an occasion that we both need to be away we have found a college student that comes by and sits with them. Michelle is a wonderful caring young lady that we were lucky enough to find and is not as costly as hiring someone from an agency. If you do decide to go this route be sure and get to know the person very well. We have met Michelle's parents and she has even cared for my grandchildren on occasion. She is studying to be a special education teacher and I know that she will be a wonderful one.
Above all......get some "me" time. You cannot do this job without a little time for you. I was amazed at how great I felt the first time I left my parents with my husband and just walked around Goodwill for an hour. I wish you all the best and thank you for caring for your wife.
Are your friends really friends? I would suggest that you join an Alzhimer support group perhaps you already do. If so it might be possible to visit or go to lunch or dinner together. Also, let your neighbors and friends know that you feel they are avoiding you and your spouse. Maybe, they think they are doing you a favor when actually they are hurting your feelings.
Thought I was all alone there. I care for my husband stage late 6 early 7 Alzheimers. I really believe sometime people even family think this is a contagious disease. I really miss adult conversation. hard to get anyone to stay even for a minute. Cant take him out much never know what will happen. I cry a lot and pray a lot but please keep in touch. I really know what you are going through. God Bless us all
No, I still need you all & am greatfull for all the responses, they make me feel I am not alone anymore. I have a hard time getting into the computor & been busy w/ doctors & hospital tests. May have vascular surgery soon because of recent strokes. Seeing my PC Doctor tomorow to address my depression & possible REM Sleep Disorder. Have plenty of Medicaid care for my wife & respit for me(see my Bio.). Its me that needs & my biggest fear is something might happen to me & will not be there to take care of my wife. Thanks for you all for being out there It makes feel so good. Ed Bracken
Look for an assited living that can take one or both of you. The caregivers will take care of your wife and will take care of you also until you get back to normal and you will be able to associate with others in your same situation. Good luck and bless you for all that you do each day!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
as for you , sounds like need to ask ur doctor for some health nurse aid to come in and ck on u and ur wife , and talk to ur doctor about how ure feeling lately , and go from there ... best wishes , xoxox
Why don't you try to look for a place for your wife and go to visit her anytime. This is just the beginning. Will get harder and harder. Look for a Residential Care in your state, city. Takes a special person to care for these people. Not everyone can do this job. Don't destroy your relationship with your wife and don't destroy yourself either.
I can help you looking for the places or agencies who does this job of finding places for people who need more care and the family can't do it anymore.
Good luck and take care of yourself
This forum has helped me tremedously. The ability to share the unvarnished realties of caregiving, has been a lifesaver. You are always welcomed to voice your frustrations here...or offer advice to others.
My best advice, if you can, is to get someone to come in and take over occasionally so you can get out and clear your head. Being a good caregiver does not mean that you have to be with you wife 24/7. Hire an in-home aide, who deals with Alz patients to come in. Do you have family who could just fill in once and awhile? Do you belong to a church or organization who have volunteers? Our state does offer some respite care for Alz.
The fact that you are depressed is a sign that you need help. Please do not feel that no one else can care for your wife the way you do.
I have a paid caregiver who comes by twice a week to do personal care, such as bathing and other things around Mom's apt. It has given Mom someone else to interact with and gives me a little break.
I am feel worn out too...and sometimes I do not know how much more I will be able to do. But we have to make sure we stay healthy for both ourselves and in order to help our loved ones.
Good luck...come here often for advice....so many nice people here who are willing to help.
It can be quite difficult to remain positive when things look like gloom and doom-but there are no alternatives.
Stay Strong!
Hap
All his symptoms get really bad with any type of cold, allergy, sleep medications. So he no longer gets any of that stuff.
His symptoms are he gets confused, unable to think, has hallucinations, etc... then will have a great week and you'd think he was cured! It is a roller coaster.
He has just gone through 10 weeks of STRONG antibiotics IV and pill form to cure a bone infection. THAT cleared up so many of the problems he has had for the past 3 years! OMG.
He no longer suffers from a chronic runny nose, he is completely clear headed and normal mentally, and many of his terrible aches and pains in his legs and back are gone...
Now with Lewy Body (if he has it) this could just be one of those weird "good times" and he could revert back but for now we are having some good days.
At least I think the runny nose if gone for good.
Above all......get some "me" time. You cannot do this job without a little time for you. I was amazed at how great I felt the first time I left my parents with my husband and just walked around Goodwill for an hour. I wish you all the best and thank you for caring for your wife.
God Bless us all
make me feel I am not alone anymore. I have a hard time getting
into the computor & been busy w/ doctors & hospital tests. May
have vascular surgery soon because of recent strokes. Seeing my PC Doctor tomorow to address my depression & possible
REM Sleep Disorder. Have plenty of Medicaid care for my wife
& respit for me(see my Bio.). Its me that needs & my biggest
fear is something might happen to me & will not be there to take care of my wife. Thanks for you all for being out there
It makes feel so good.
Ed Bracken
Thanks