I'm working with a great therapist who has now advised me to move forward with hiring in-home care for my mom to lessen my own caregiving burden. He warns me that my mental health is being seriously impacted.
I do trust him. But I just need to hear from you out there - do you worry about the possibility of caregivers infecting your loved ones with covid? The way I and my sister have been caregiving for my mom, this past year, has limited the risk of covid tremendously, especially because we both are so cautious and avoid risks when we are away from my mom.
Bringing in caregivers day and night, because she needs 24-hour care, obviously increases the risk greatly. And I'm stuck on the thinking that I'm putting my mom at risk to save my own rear end.
(I haven't broached the issue yet with my sister, but I fully expect her to push back 100% with covid concerns.)
Well thanks in advance.
Most of my caregivers get tested on their other jobs several times a week. Most of our caregivers have had covid over the last 2-1/2 years. Most of our caregivers are vaccinated and boostered.
Is your Mom vaccinated and boostered?
We require the caregivers to wear masks and do a temp check upon entry. They can remove their masks to eat and drink if more than 6' away from Mom.
There are risks to everything in life. A loved one is at risk for covid in the home, in a care home, in a nursing home, in assisted living and in the grocery store.
Do your best to mitigate the risk.
Yes my mom is totally vaccinated and boosted. But gee, covid is so sneaky; my older daughter just cancelled her wedding because her two children just tested positive, despite vaccinations.
I totally understand your concerns. My younger brother has TBI, (Traumatic Brain Injury), and he has lived with me and my husband for the past 4 years. He is 51, and I am 56. We have been extremely careful not to put him in any health danger as far as the Covid Virus. Just when we bagan to look for hired support for him, Covid hit.
We are finally hoping to get him back to his three times a week gym workout since the virus is really down in our area. My only break is when he is at the gym.
It is very difficult to have taken the responsibility for a family members safety and care. I hope you are finding ways to get breaks. I find that even the short recharges can help me be more patient with the responsibilities of a caretaker.
Hopefully your area is seeing the same decline in Covid numbers and you can get some support.
Take care
As you feel strongly about this, don't sign any contract (agency or indy) that doesn't guarantee that every caregiver be vaccinated. Ask for proof of vaccination for anyone new.
You can hire a Certified Nursing Asst (CNA) through an agency, but be aware that many agencies do NOT require COVID vaccinations for staff. Ask to see the agency's written staff policy for COVID protocol as this is what the employee is required to follow. In your own home, you can certainly mandate that the caregiver wear a mask and eat at a distance. I set up a caregiver handwashing station, complete with antibacterial soap, paper towels, spare gloves, and a trash can with a lid. I also used a spray disinfectant after each person was done with their shift (overkill, some would say). Ask for a regularly assigned CNA to reduce the number of people that your mom will be exposed to.
The alternative is to go private care and you can require a copy of the CNA's vaccination card and regular testing as long as you notify the person - in writing - before hiring them.
By bringing in help, you're taking care of everyone's health while increasing your own quality of life. Go for it.
Having consistent, caring people coming in has lightened my load in caring for my husband. Have had one issue where caregiver was exposed but came back quickly after testing negative.
This doesn't mean that we cannot live life, or cannot live a quality life; we just have to accept that we cannot live without some risk.
All of that said, what if you take on all the 24/7 care, and you weaken, and you get covid-19? What if YOU die? What then for your Mom?
You need to make this decision for yourself. I myself would not risk my own life in this when any one of you could at any time get covid-19 from anyone else. Tell Sis you have made your own decision for your own well being, and if she is sad about that or mad about that there is nothing you can do about it, would be my advise.
Bottom line here for you, rosadelima, is that it certainly can't hurt if you make sure you add this to your routine.
You said it beautifully.
We are all doing the best we can. There are no guarantees.
You need the help more and that is the priority.
Longer answer: My LOs have visiting home Aides. LOs are vaccinated. The Aides are vaccinated, wear PPE, are educationed to use hand hygiene, monitor for symptoms & required not come to work if symptoms/ill.
Risks do exists - nothing is completely risk free. Some activities have higher risk than others (eg shower assist where virus is more likely to be aerasoled in humid environment & masks can get wet & therefore lose effectivness).
My view is this;
*Reduce HIGHER risks where you can. *Weigh up the pros & cons of KNOWN risks. *Factor in LIKELY scenarios.
*Consider the TIMEFRAME.
By avoiding ALL non-family home help, this increases the workload onto you & sister. If one of you needs time out then the burden of care falls to ONE person - which is too much. Then emergency home help or respite accom is required - bringing risks + much stress.
Timeframe is important too. There is much difference between short & long term assistance (eg 2 weeks after a sprain, 6 weeks post operation or ongoing daily assistance).
So overall, having a few trusted Aides may strike the best balance.
Then she had to go to the hospital, then rehab. She didn't get covid, even though one of the nurses wasn't vaxxed, had a cough that she said was bronchitis, and didn't wear the mask properly. She's now in AL and half the nurses either don't wear the masks or pull them down to talk to her. (Idiots!)
She is vaxxed and boosted, and we'll keep making sure she stays that way. She wears a mask as much as she can, but I think we both found out that we didn't die with all these people around us. We can ask politely people pull up their mask and we can keep ours on. But not living life for two years actually took a tougher toll on both of us than just making sure we take precautions.
I am worried for myself since I'm close to 60 and have some medical conditions.
Good luck
It really boils down to accepting the virus as a part of life, because it is not going away.
BTW - I have horses and give them ivermectin for worms twice a year. Dosage amount is critical and it is used in livestock as a wormer. I have never seen anything to indicate any virus killing ability nor have I seen anything advocating use in humans. Just saying…
What's your mom weigh?
Its likely that simple.
(look up "safe" in any dictionary. The vaccines available to Americans+ are deemed "safe" by our "leaders" of AMA, FDA etc.
Lookup "vaccine" while you're at it) from potential exposure. You don't want just anybody caring in your home because somebody at the office said so. Be super proactive in the hired workers department so you can relax knowing you have first hand knowledge of "who they are"! A team of several workers who are there for Mom and in it to win it - that's what you aim for - an extended family could be better than family! If that don't work - load the house with cameras so you can keep an eye on Mom from Egypt if you want. Do it before you hire! Good luck to you whatever the choices made!
As far as your doctor goes - if he knows you - best listen! You can't fix things with broken tools. If you're Mom's current main fixer, better get your own fixin in before you break! It can happen to anyone! Some just hang in longer before they break. It's not a hero thing either! How would you want things done for you if in Mom's place? Tell nay-sayers to realize what's at stake here first! How important is Mom in prevention of her getting virus? Dollars are usually the measuring device with time running a close 2nd.
Do unto others
What would Mom say
What would Jesus say
Do unto yourself
So, I just go with the plan that if we are sick or they are sick, we cancel the session. You can't really expect a caregiver to social distance so....
The other thing is to help keep the person receiving the care healthy with immune boosting supplements and foods, etc. So if they do get exposed to something they will be better equipped to fight it off. And reduce co-morbidities. Diabetes is a big one, IIRC.
Covid is part of our world, just like the flu and the common cold. We have to learn to live with is without worrying ourselves sick about it.
The dog would have massive diarrhea when I was at work. Daily, I got reported on by a neighbor for this and the two counties' animal controls then had to, uh, work that out.
If you don't want to take the vaccine or the monoclonals or plavoxid or anything actually approved, perhaps go with something, anything, safer than ivermectin.