My dad (97yr) is a very difficult man to talk to and our relationship is VERY dysfunctional. I won't go into that because this would end up way to long. All my life (66yr) I have never heard my dad talk about being a veteran or any 'war' stories. About 3 to 4 years ago he started telling people, when he wants attention or special privilege's, that he's a veteran. I've been told by a friend that veterans have ID cards, I don't believe my dad has one of those. When I google to look up veterans records all the sites want you to sign up for memberships. Can anyone point me into the right direction to find out if my dad really is a vet? Thanks for any suggestions.
. You can’t stop him saying it, even if it is fraud. If you are with him when he says it, are you going to have a shouting match with him in public? Will a laugh and a wink really satisfy you?
. Is the fraud getting him anything substantial? It doesn’t sound like it. He’s 97. Does it really matter if he gets a little bonus that he isn’t really entitled to? It can’t go on for too much longer. Death comes to us all, even villains.
. We have people on the site whose mothers are claiming to have been Opera singers, fathers who are equally deluded. Impressive imaginary life histories go with the turf of old age and/or dementia. It varies from amusing to very annoying. My dearest daddy in old age insisted on being addressed as ‘Major’. Mother was quite clear that he had forged the WWII paperwork, and she was almost certainly right. I just laughed about it. It really was the least of the worries.
You have now had the suggestions for verification. Before you get too upset with a ‘no’ result, think about keeping your own peace of mind in yet another issue in a dysfunctional relationship.
If he did serve during a wartime, he would qualify for home health care VA benefits, a monthly amount.
Does he have Tricare Health Insurance?
How do you k n o w he is not a veteran? He lived 30 years before you were ever born.
Meaning no disrespect to you, but I would like to point you in the right direction, and that is r e s p e c t for a veteran.
I also agree with you that it would be wrong to say one is a veteran who is not. That is fraud.
Do you feel an obligation to find out now? If he is as mean as you understand him to be, maybe he was a drill sargeant?
The VA issues ID cards with the veteran's photo on the card, and in my experience, that card HAS to be shown to get a store discount.
A neighbor who claimed to be a Vet showed me two ID cards, but so quickly that it was clear he really didn't want me to see his cards, so that made me wonder if he was just pretending to be a Veteran. The ID cards definitely were not issued by the VA; they weren't in the proper format, and if I recall correctly, didn't have his photo.
There's a free Veteran verification ID here:
https://www.operationmilitarykids.org/verify-military-service/
If you have trouble reaching that site, search on "verifying Veteran status", and check out some of the other links, or: (a) contact the local Veteran's state office or (b) contact a service agency such as VFW or American Legion and ask them how to verify.
In my experience, they employ or have Veterans as volunteers, and while it may not be part of their mission, they might take the time to help someone verify a potential Veteran as legitimate or not.
I did a quick check on someone I know is a Veteran, and got confirmation. The only info provided was the person's name, and state (although there was no indication whether this was a birth state or residence state).
There's a nonVeteran affialiated option on the right hand side of the page; don't use that; it's not as thorough.
Update: I'm not convinced of the accuracy of the public links, as I searched for someone I know isn't a Veteran and ended up in the typical sign up and register format.
Perhaps the best way is a FOIA search, which I believe is free. Given the shutdowns though, I don't know how long it would be before you got a report.
There's also the possibility that he enlisted later than 1941; my father enlisted in 1943, but he had also served in the National Guard and may have finished that commitment before enlisting in the Army.
Another possibility is that he was in fact in the military, but declined to discuss it b/c of the post war trauma. Perhaps in his older age it's more distant and he can mention his service, but avoid discussing details.
At 97 do u think maybe a little Dementia has not set in? He could be imagining he was in the service.
Your local VA dept should be able to tell u if he served. Will need his SS number though.
As PP said, highly likely someone his age did service. Everyone that age in may family, even those in college, did serve. Colleges were under pressure to graduate males early.
Also why does it matter if Dad is making up stories?
Was he in college at that time? Did he have a physical disability? The overwhelming majority of folks in his age cohort WERE veterans.
Have you ever asked him about whether he served in the Pacific or in Europe?
I didn't know that my dad's father was a WWII veteran until he died. It was to traumatic for him to even acknowledge his service, so no one in the family ever mentioned it.
If your dad is not looking for any veteran benefits besides a thank you and 10% off his meal I would not get to heat up about it.
You can contact your local VFW and find out how to get his service records if you really want to know.
If he did serve please tell him that I say thank you for your service and sacrifices, I live in a free country because of the brave men and women who have stood up and fought for what our country stands for.
If he didn't serve, maybe he could not and he is embarrassed by his inability to serve. I would think hard about why he didn't and is saying he did. My dad had medical issues that barred him from serving, he has shame about not defending his country, which is heartbreaking because he couldn't help not being able to serve, he wanted too. My point is that maybe this isn't a battle worth waging, let it be unless he is injuring someone.
There are other places military service records can be found (county courthouses, etc.) so a genealogist/family history specialist might also help if you really want to determine service or not.
This https://www.va.gov/records/get-military-service-records/reconstruct-records/ gives some good hints on determining military service.