Looking for things mom could do to feel useful... she used to assemble newsletters for church and organizations but no one does paper newsletters anymore. She could maybe work on putting craft kits together or something... for kids... any kind of menial repetitive task that cg could help her with. I'd like to try her out w/ something like that to see if she will easily engage. She needs a purpose, even if for only certain times a day or week. Thoughts?
She has made statements occasionally about what is the point of living etc. She can do some things. Yes, we play the uno and checkers and match cards and throw indoor snowballs etc.
Im looking for purposeful tasks. How can she help someone out? She's interested in helping me/around the house. She will sometimes take an empty dish to the kitchen but that's about it. Won't even sort her newspapers once a week into a stack.... because the caregivers do that (I do it to straighten up).
She spent 30 yrs of retirement working 2-5 days a week in a church office. Office tasks were her jam. She can't do computer anymore. But she could process paperwork... ie assemble a mailing. Fold newsletters. Assemble craft kits. Some days she wouldn't know what she was doing, but most days she would definitely know if that were a fake effort.
Yes, I make her sign Xmas and other cards we send. Stamp them. Address labels and stickers. But there's not enough of that except at Xmas.
I just thought I'd ask if anyone had any ideas of how to get connected on something for a group or organization.
I thought of the sorting greeting cards... we have boxes of ones received over the years but that is probably too much decision making for her. Making choices is hard for her...she usually won't. About clothes or food or activity etc. If I get the time to sit w her amd do it we could do that together maybe. I dont think she would just randomly sort them type or color or sender etc any more than they are already sorted in the boxes she put them in. If im helping im going through stuff to sort to toss some. Something useful at least doen the road. But she won't hear of tossing them now and I dont have the time it would take to just play w them for the sake of it.
I forgot to mention Mom also liked dusting and walking around the room dusting things.
My father looked so happy when his grandson’s were refurbishing a bike, and they handed him the chrome rim with spokes and asked him if he could help to polish it with the soft cloth. He continued to polish it for a very long time, and he looked extremely content with the feeling of helping and being needed. It did not really matter if it needed the polishing or not. It is about how it made him feel, and us. We were so happy to see him feel needed.
We also built some new gates, and he was very happy to help with the sanding. It does not matter if they are doing it correctly, or over and over in the same spot. It is about feeling useful.
I wish all of the caretakers could get enough breaks for themselves, so they don’t get burned out, and uncaring. There have been so many caretakers on this site that are so angry, and unloving. “Whatever your hands find themselves doing, do it with all of your might.” With love and compassion.
--wiping the kitchen counter with a wet cloth
--setting the table
--walking out with someone to get the mail
--taking dog out with someone
--mom also really liked tossing the ball back and forth with her caregiver, this was like an 8" plastic ball
also I used to let her get knots out of ropes just short little ropes.
God bless and good luck.🙏
Sorting. Large buttons, colored clothespins, greeting cards, or decks of cards can all be sorted in different ways.
Matching socks from a laundry basket.
Looking through magazines and cutting out pictures of flowers, animals, or recipes (using safety scissors if appropriate).
Simple crafts, like making greeting cards with stickers or arranging silk flowers.
Listening to favorite music and clapping, tapping, or moving along to the rhythm.
A soft balloon or beach ball. Gently batting it back and forth is surprisingly good exercise because it encourages reaching in different directions.
Fidget or sensory items, such as textured fabrics, a soft blanket, or a basket of familiar objects to handle.
Reading aloud together, even if it’s just a short story or a few pages from a favorite book.
Reminiscing with photos or familiar household objects. Instead of asking, “Do you remember this?” it’s often better to say, “Tell me about this picture,” which feels less like a memory test.
Maybe give her a job:
Could you fold these towels for me?”
“Would you sort these napkins?”
“Can you help me organize these cards?”
The task itself matters less than the feeling of being useful.
i hope you find a rhythm that makes the days easier for both of you.
My 95 year old Mom has always liked houseplants. I help her create a "patio garden" every summer and she tends the annuals; watering, dead-heading, and protecting the plants are her responsibility. I keep a general eye on the plants to ensure she gives them adequate care but I do NOT interfere. I will ask her how her garden is doing if I think she needs a reminder.
1. Folding laundry
2. Putting silverware from the dishwasher away in the silverware drawer.
3. Dry swiffering the floor (dry mop only)
4. Pick up pine cones in yard and put them in a bucket.
5. Peel potatoes.
6. Water color paintings. I display some around the home.
You cannot be your Mom's entertainment committee - it requires too much of your time and energy. Why do you think she needs a purpose? What's she doing most of the day? Watching tv? Sleeping? Nothing?
More info would be helpful.