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Looking for things mom could do to feel useful... she used to assemble newsletters for church and organizations but no one does paper newsletters anymore. She could maybe work on putting craft kits together or something... for kids... any kind of menial repetitive task that cg could help her with. I'd like to try her out w/ something like that to see if she will easily engage. She needs a purpose, even if for only certain times a day or week. Thoughts?

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I understand. Some people are forever workers. You say her dementia is mild. My mother, too, wanted to help, not just to be taking up space. She had a dog to take care of back then, but she also kept trying to take care of household chores, which caused a few disasters. That time was difficult. I'd try to set her up with folding laundry, rearranging the silverware drawer, organizing cupboards, and such. In assisted living they had her set the table for meals. When her Alzheimer's progressed she forgot about helping for the most part. However, she really enjoyed having the battery activated interactive toy dog and cat I got for her. She thought they were real, took them for walks around the assisted living home, talked to them, even tried to feed them. Once she asked me if I thought there was something wrong with the dog, that maybe it wasn't real, but otherwise she enjoyed its company, as it barked, wagged its tail, sat up and down when touched. The cat wasn't as interesting to her, but she'd pet it and try to calm it when it meowed.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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Being a caregiver means being flexible and creative. For my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia I would have her fold a large quantity of kitchen towels several times a day, sort colored poker chips, and read aloud to me. I had to continuously keep her on task. Having her do those activities was less about "purpose" and more about wearing her out so that she slept better at night (which she did). You yourself can come up with envelopes and papers to stuff them with. You don't have to tell her it's not real. Can her fingers even do such a task? My Mom's are full of arthritis and she'd probably get 50 papercuts in the process.

You cannot be your Mom's entertainment committee - it requires too much of your time and energy. Why do you think she needs a purpose? What's she doing most of the day? Watching tv? Sleeping? Nothing?

More info would be helpful.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Geaton777 Jun 27, 2026
The first time my Aunt sorted the poker chips, to my surprise (and without me asking her to do it) she arranged them in an intricate symmetrical pattern instead. She had been a graphic designer in her working years. There's no wrong answer in the task. It was a poignant reminder that she was still "in there".
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My grandmother (soon to be 99) is the resident towel folder. She is so excited about her accomplishments. We also have her sort things like pencils from a pencil box so that I can put the markers into a different box. We are a family of five so sometimes we ask her to pair all of the shoes in front of the shoe rack. With cooking, she will shuck corn or leafy greens. We also ask her to put the silverware on the dinner table. She gets that all kinds of wrong, however we just silently trade pieces as we eat. The other thing is laundry. We wash all of her clothes and he puts then away wherever she pleases. Lol. Outside, if we are weeding, we ask her to point to the weeds so that we can pull them. Sometimes we paint simple things--or no real things--depending on how you look at it. Throwing a huge pile of papers in a room (like old mail) and asking her to put everything neatly back into a pile is good as well. We tell her we need a neat pile so it will fit into a recycle bin neatly. She like candy, so having her pick out all of the blue candy from a stack is always a treat because then she gets to eat the blue ones. We save the rest for a different day. We used to have her "wash dishes" and stack them in the dishwasher but that got too cumbersome. Basically we take her out one day and then she does two household activities the next day. The third day we play by ear. Honestly, it doesnt matter since she doesnt recall doing many of the activities 🙄. Shower day is a whome thing and she showers by herself. Oh! You can get a deck of Uno or regular cards, pick a number, and then ask her to save you from yourself and pull out all of the 4s, or yellows, or Jacks, or whatever. It doesn't have to be real. And if she gets tired, just congratulate her on saving you TON of time and thank her profusely before letting her know that you now have the bandwidth to finish the task up. It's like having a toddler, and asking them to use their muscles to help you carry a super duper "heavy" bag into the house. 😉
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Reply to GrandpasFavGirl
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Everyone needs a purpose! Everyone needs to feel needed, wanted, loved, and still feel like a valuable family member.

My father looked so happy when his grandson’s were refurbishing a bike, and they handed him the chrome rim with spokes and asked him if he could help to polish it with the soft cloth. He continued to polish it for a very long time, and he looked extremely content with the feeling of helping and being needed. It did not really matter if it needed the polishing or not. It is about how it made him feel, and us. We were so happy to see him feel needed.

We also built some new gates, and he was very happy to help with the sanding. It does not matter if they are doing it correctly, or over and over in the same spot. It is about feeling useful.

I wish all of the caretakers could get enough breaks for themselves, so they don’t get burned out, and uncaring. There have been so many caretakers on this site that are so angry, and unloving. “Whatever your hands find themselves doing, do it with all of your might.” With love and compassion.
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Reply to Tiger8
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Everyone needs a sense of purpose:

1. Folding laundry
2. Putting silverware from the dishwasher away in the silverware drawer.
3. Dry swiffering the floor (dry mop only)
4. Pick up pine cones in yard and put them in a bucket.
5. Peel potatoes.
6. Water color paintings. I display some around the home.
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Reply to brandee
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What does/did she enjoy? Start with her interests and modify the tasks so they don't cause her undue stress or frustration. You mention stuffing envelopes - can she still write a note? Could she sign simple greeting cards to her friends/family and mail them? I know it's old-fashioned but the resources still exist. (and she might even get some friendly replies!)

My 95 year old Mom has always liked houseplants. I help her create a "patio garden" every summer and she tends the annuals; watering, dead-heading, and protecting the plants are her responsibility. I keep a general eye on the plants to ensure she gives them adequate care but I do NOT interfere. I will ask her how her garden is doing if I think she needs a reminder.
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Reply to MrsGwynn
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Regardless of her age - what are her abilities and her interests. If she used to assemble newsletters for church, have her write letters and continue to assemble - they don't necessarily need to go anywhere. Also, make sure it is something that is allowing her to think rather than just a repetitive task to keep her busy. Mild dementia some people are still able to have a meaningful life and participate in some decision making. If this is the case, she may be able to help you make decisions on what she wants to do. Is there an organization near by that could use her assistance? Is there a new hobby she has wanted to try? Painting? Great question. You're doing great!
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Reply to agestrong
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Hello! My mom is 92 years old and used to be a teacher so hence, the will to be productive also! I looked at Amazon for simple math workbooks (she loves math) and was able to find a few (due to her dementia, she is only able to do K-1 maybe 2 but any higher is too challenging) and through my searches at Amazon, I found activities that involved simple cognitive tasks (like matching, blocks, sequencing flash cards and other flash cards, etc) as well as OT tasks, which she needs due to her arthritis. She was so delighted to get all these activities because it boots her self esteem and she feels she is participating cognitively. I truly suggest you looking into Amazon and see what your loved one would be able to do according to the level you see her at. Blessings!
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Reply to Elderlymomcare
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It's too bad she doesn't live around me; I could use her about an hour a day to look at loose change under a magnifying glass, and separate the ones that are pre-1965 from post-1965. It would take about a week, I guess. Then, I need help taking hundreds of pieces of jewelry and placing each one in a small plastic baggie. I could also use her help twice a month matching socks, folding underwear, towels and washcloths. Shredding too; I have 10 boxes of old bank statements, tax info and medical paperwork that needs to be shredded. I just don't have the patience for all these small tasks (gives me a headache.) She doesn't live in the St. Louis area, does she?
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Reply to Kailyn
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If you live near an elementary school, perhaps the teacher needs an assistant to help sort craft items or just to help watch the kids while they're crafting (so they don't eat the glue!)
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