My mom had a brain injury from a car accident 16 years ago, for which she received treatment at the time. She is now starting to exhibit personality and mood changes. Along with delusions, that seem to get triggered by her being on her own. She is still quite capable of taking care of her daily needs. We have stepped in to help a bit more with bills, expenses etc.. As she seems to get overwhelmed with these tasks. Looking for support as I’m finding it very difficult to accept these changes.
"Showtiming" is also common with dementia, and my mother is STILL the queen of putting on a great act for others when the need arises. The muscle memory stuff is still greatly intact......you know, the small talk? Hi, how are you? Don't you look lovely today! How is your husband and family doing? But when you get into the details, that's when they fall apart. Don't ask them what day it is or what medications they take........that's when the impairment shows up. But the small talk they can win prizes for. It's all part of the show they put on. For you, your mother will have delusions and not know her own name...........the mask falls off BIG time b/c you're safe.
Whether you find it difficult to accept these changes or not, you're faced with them, and so is your mother. Living alone is dangerous now and you'll have to figure out either in home assistance or moving her into Assisted Living/Memory Care soon. You can't believe the mischief and trouble these elders can get into when left to their own devices; it's mind blowing.
Go to Alz.org to read all about dementia and how it presents itself so you'll know what you're facing, what you're mom is facing, and what to expect in the future. My mother is 94 now, incontinent, wheelchair bound, and has fallen 69x so far. She lives in a Memory Care Assisted Living and is in need of Skilled Nursing coming up here in the near future.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
I like how you called it ‘showtime’ that’s a great way to explain it.
my mother is only 73, but had a brain injury from a car accident about 15 years ago affecting her frontal lobe. But no one is putting the pieces together. Not sure what it’s going to take. I live in Canada and have great supports through the Alzheimer’s society here. I have done some education classes. I’m not a dr, but truly feel my mother is developing dementia and is probably frontaltemperal lobe. Hence the delusions, irrationality, etc..
thanks again for your advice!
I am in the process of trying to figure out where she has her follow up with her brain injury. She was quite young at the time (57ish) she is now 73. There is no doubt in my mind that this brain injury is having an impact now.
thanks for your help!!
I myself witnessed one such episode; it was unsettling - there was no way of reassuring the person that the delusion was real, although when she woke up the next day, she stated that this wasn't the first experience with Ambien delusions.
Your mother may be able to handle her daily needs, but does she become frightened being alone at night?
thanks for your response! I’m glad I found this forum!
More likely if the trauma continues, like in people that play sports but all it can take is one time. (friend of mine, her husband was in an accident and it accelerated dementia and made PTSD worse)
An evaluation from a Neurologist or a Neuropsychologist would be in order.
I live in Canada and here we have geriatrician’s and geriatric psychiatrists that are the ones that do testing etc.. my mom has an appointment coming up, but she has kept us out of her medical appointments at this time. It’s been such a struggle. I feel like she knows things are changing and is probably scared, so she has her guard up.
Dad had alzheimer's. Evidently his delusions or more likely dreams were caused by an alzheimer's drug he was given - he had very vivid dreams and had to talk to himself that the dream he had was not real life.
Later on hospice after he was off most all meds, except those for comfort, he would sometimes have delusions. The worst ones according to SNF was when he thought there was a building on fire and tried to get to it to rescue "the children". The nurses had to hold onto him so he would try and stand and fall. Other delusions he had were more mundane, such as calling me for an immediate need for money because he owed it to someone.
Wishing you and your family the best as you face the next chapter in your mother's life.
thanks again!
I don't know if Canada has the same health privacy laws that we have. US doctors can't discuss your medical issues with anyone unless you give permission. But nothing stops us from being able to tell the doctor additional information about the patient.
You could include the information about the police involvement and the issues with the neighbors so he/she gets a rounded picture of your mom's mental health.
Back in the day, my maternal grandmother "heard on the radio that Pres. Reagan bought the family ranch and discovered some of her paintings in the attic. He was going to bring them to her when he came to his ranch in California". We now know she had Alzheimers, but back then they just called it senility.
thanks again
"It was the lilac bush brushing against the house."
So, did you go shoot it? :-D
If not, at least cut it down to the roots!!! Dang bushes...
Until her doctor's appointment, it would be helpful for her to have somebody checking on her throughout the day. If she is threatened with inadvertently hurting herself or safety is a concern, please make sure somebody is with her all the time. Please consider enlisting help of family, friends, members of faith community, and paid help. The goal is to keep her safe and healthy. I suggest creating a journal that all "helpers" write in to let each other know what happened while they were there to "visit."
At this point she isn’t unsafe being alone ( we don’t think), but will have to look at options on the near future of having someone check in on her daily!
thanks for your suggestions