My 85 year old mother has always been opinionated - but in recent years, at the same time as she is cognitively declining, she has become more opinionated, and now stubborn, difficult. She’s not bad all the time, but she can be and I’m sure the staff in her started living find her a pain sometimes.
I bear to can’t think about her getting more difficult….
Is there any chance she might mellow as she gets older? Does this happen?
She might become more difficult.
If she is in Assisted Living that is a traditional AL where she can come and go she should probably be in a Memory Care unit.
The staff in MC are usually better trained to help with personality changes.
If you do not have regular Care Meetings with the staff it might be time to make sure those are scheduled so that you are not blindsided with changes that they can not manage. If a resident becomes difficult a facility can ask that you find another place that can manage the resident.
Did that change?
Check out meds that can help her. It's not at all unusual for memory care patients to take anti-anxiety meds, and it's a pretty good guess that your mom copes with anxiety by being difficult.