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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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At the place where my mother-in-law lives (asst living) for the first week or so they would check on her during the night. She wasn't afraid to be alone, but they didn't know that. When they figured out that she wasn't disoriented in the middle of the night or scared, they left her alone. Ask if they check on the newbies at night.
For my mom IL, pets are OK but an extra monthly fee of $ 50 and apt cleaning annual of $ 250. 1 pet per apt max. Most of the dog owners have the same dog walker who comes twice a day to the apt building.
AL has no pets policy. I was told this was a liability as dog owners and other residents have fallen from being pulled by a dog or tripped over leash. Check before you even mention pets.
As your mom gets to socialize, she won't be as isolated and scared. I bet they have a card or board game playing group she could join (like Mexican train domino's). There is a Candyland group who bet candy for their grandchildren at my mom's place and 4 - 5 ladies who feed the birds most afternoons. I have found that there is always one or two ladies who are the welcome wagon. Talk with the staff to find out who they are and make a point of talking with them when you visit as they can and will include your mom in things if they think positively of "you all". My experience has been that the IL & AL are somewhat like a sorority or hen house and there is a central group of ladies (the men are really just happy roosters in all this) who run things. Be nice to them & your mom is fine.
Last year we sent a fruit bouquet to the main one for a 'snack" for their card tournament. Best $ 75 spent
This all takes time for her to adjust to the place and the routine. If she was pretty social before this, it will work out as that is her nature. Good luck!
The only comment I can add to this is don't get a puppy or any dog. It is TOO much responsibility even for me, a young single healthy woman living alone in an apt. My little active house dog offers me comfort, + I give him all the love + pampering in the world. But (in hindsight) not worth the expenses, cleanups and care involved. I can't keep up with him or it. My middle aged neighbor even tripped over her cat and now has to have knee surgery. PETS ARE NOT THE ANSWER.
What system is AL on? Find out what it is and remind her about it over and over and over and do a sign on her door to remind her again. At my mom's IL, she has to put her apt # in a slot on her door by 8:30 AM every morning and put it "away" for the night by 8:30 PM. Security staff goes around to check at 9 AM/PM. If they don't, security knocks on the apt door to see what's what. I'm sure there is something similar where your mom is. Find out who does this and make a point of introducing you and your mom to them and tell they your mom is anxious.
Also I've found that having a couple of lights on timers works wonders to make them feel secure. We did torch lamps in her bedroom and living room and have them set for 5 PM - 10 PM and then again from 7 AM - 9 AM so that they never enter or wake to a dark apt. For whatever reason, she doesn't mess with the floor/torch lamps but she did for table-lamps..... Also those LED night lights are good to have along the path from the bedroom to the bathroom and in the bathroom, so that it's never really dark and spooky.
For AL it's the same system but they check at least once during the night.
Now if she take's a medication right before bed-time, you might have her MD request medication monitoring so that someone will be visiting her everynight so make sure it's taken and she may feel "safer" with a nightly visit. In order for insurance to pay, MD has to request this otherwise it can be an extra private pay expense.
Another thing we did was to send her every once in a while those recordable Hallmark cards - she plays them over & over. There should be good selection of them in stores right now for Holiday card giving.
Good luck, and just remind yourself that she is in a safe, secure place where she can socialize. The three "S's".
Another thing you can do, is ask the institution if they allow pets. If they do,maybe the wise thing to is to get her a puppy. this way she will be so busy caring for new friend that she would no longer feel scare. Plus she will have company at all times.
A cat may be a good idea so she does not have to go outside in the evening. Do they ever have two bedroom apartments if not maybe some other person could visit her for a few min. before bedtime or give her a phone call.
I stayed the first couple of nights with my elderly cousin when she moved into a new place and that seemed to be a big help to her and eased her into it. Also leaving the bathroom light on all night was a help so she wasn't going to a dark room and her bedroom got just enough light from the bathroom to ease her fears.
Now that your mother is in a facility, she needs to reach out to the other residents of the home to meet the social needs once met by her nearby family. If you, or other siblings, can go visit her it will help immensely. But if you can't, she needs to make new friends with others there who are probably also reluctant to be alone. In the new environment, she is likely to feel isolated by the newness of her surroundings. But there are other people there who need her company. Staff at the facility may be able to help with this. Ask them to help your mother. Good luck to her, and to you.
hI~When my Mom 1st went into AL--It also was a frightening experience for her as well. She had been diagnosed with AD at the time. It was explained to me-to bring things in to her new home that were familiar to her, as pictures, nick nacks, small pieces of furniture...and to possibly spend as much time with her over the adjustment period. and/or call her on the phone. The staff was very good- and they reminised a lot with her. So to answer your question-I would ask the director of the AL-what would be appropiate for your Mom--And take it from there. Also speak with the activities person-to have them familiar of her likes-and perhaps to get her involved. Best to you and your family, Hap
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
AL has no pets policy. I was told this was a liability as dog owners and other residents have fallen from being pulled by a dog or tripped over leash. Check before you even mention pets.
As your mom gets to socialize, she won't be as isolated and scared. I bet they have a card or board game playing group she could join (like Mexican train domino's). There is a Candyland group who bet candy for their grandchildren at my mom's place and 4 - 5 ladies who feed the birds most afternoons. I have found that there is always one or two ladies who are the welcome wagon. Talk with the staff to find out who they are and make a point of talking with them when you visit
as they can and will include your mom in things if they think positively of "you all". My experience has been that the IL & AL are somewhat like a sorority or hen house and there is a central group of ladies (the men are really just happy roosters in all this) who run things. Be nice to them & your mom is fine.
Last year we sent a fruit bouquet to the main one for a 'snack" for their card tournament. Best $ 75 spent
This all takes time for her to adjust to the place and the routine.
If she was pretty social before this, it will work out as that is her nature. Good luck!
What system is AL on? Find out what it is and remind her about it over and over and over and do a sign on her door to remind her again. At my mom's IL, she has to put her apt # in a slot on her door by 8:30 AM every morning and put it "away" for the night by 8:30 PM. Security staff goes around to check at 9 AM/PM. If they don't, security knocks on the apt door to see what's what. I'm sure there is something similar where your mom is. Find out who does this and make a point of introducing you and your mom to them and tell they your mom is anxious.
Also I've found that having a couple of lights on timers works wonders to make them feel secure. We did torch lamps in her bedroom and living room and have them set for 5 PM - 10 PM and then again from 7 AM - 9 AM so that they never enter or wake to a dark apt. For whatever reason, she doesn't mess with the floor/torch lamps but she did for table-lamps.....
Also those LED night lights are good to have along the path from the bedroom to the bathroom and in the bathroom, so that it's never really dark and spooky.
For AL it's the same system but they check at least once during the night.
Now if she take's a medication right before bed-time, you might
have her MD request medication monitoring so that someone will be visiting her everynight so make sure it's taken and she may feel "safer" with a nightly visit. In order for insurance to pay, MD has to request this otherwise it can be an extra private pay expense.
Another thing we did was to send her every once in a while those recordable Hallmark cards - she plays them over & over.
There should be good selection of them in stores right now for
Holiday card giving.
Good luck, and just remind yourself that she is in a safe, secure place where she can socialize. The three "S's".
pets. If they do,maybe the wise thing to is to get her a puppy.
this way she will be so busy caring for new friend that she would no longer feel scare. Plus she will have company at all
times.
Best to you and your family,
Hap