Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You are so correct on this. M-I-L used to get up several times at night. Once I figured out she was taking the diuretic at bedtime, I changed it to afternoon. She only needed to get up once a night after that.
Oh my, can I relate to this. My late husband had the same problem getting up every hour on the hour all day and night long. And I too had to help him as he was a fall risk. This went on for about 8 months and we both were exhausted, although more so me as I couldn't take little cat naps during the day like he did. I swear we tried every bladder spasm medication out there and none of them helped. His urologist also tried putting Botox in his bladder as that supposedly can help calm the bladder down, but that too didn't help. For a while I would just use a plastic urinal overnight so he wouldn't have to get out of bed, though I still had to to hold the urinal for him as he only had use of one arm/hand. Running on no sleep was one of the hardest parts of my caregiving journey, and it's really so very harmful for all involved. Finally my husbands urologist recommended that he get a supra pubic(permanent)catheter, which was a Godsend for sure. I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day and we both were finally able to sleep through the night. It's hard this I know. Make sure that that your dad sleeps in Depends or some kind of diaper(but don't call them that in front of him)and has several waterproof pads under him, and if you can, try convincing him to stay in the bed and just pee in his Depends. Just know that that if he agrees to that that he will be soaked whenever he finally does get up, so be prepared to have to change and clean him thoroughly. At one point with my husband I had to tell him that after midnight he couldn't get up until 3:00 a.m. and then again not until 6:00 a.m. so I could at least get a few hours sleep.(this of course was before he got the catheter) I would set my alarm for both times and both times he would be absolutely soaked, so I would have to change him and clean him up before I could go back to sleep. But having several waterproof pads under him meant that I just needed to get the wet one out and there was already a dry one under him. I wish you the very best in getting things figured out and mostly I wish you rest.
In addition to having the doctor check for UTI, or other problem ….What about a urinal to use or a bedside commode ? . He could use the urinal and then empty it into the commode during the night . Maybe no one would have to help him ? Then empty the commode in the morning .
Have you been with Dad to his urologist to assess what might be done. He is likely getting little sleep that is not disturbed, and there may be medications to help. He may have some prostate problems that need addressing. I sure do wish you good luck. Some people swear that a bit of apple cider vinegar in warm water can calm the bladder a lot if there is hyperactivity, but I think it perhaps an old wives tale.
Has he been evaluated by his doctor for health problems? Get him into depends and remove the cloth bottoms. As someone said, great idea to use an alarm to wake yourself to change his diapers, like a baby's! Better idea is to place him in a facility as his care level is too much to handle at home and requires 24 hour nursing care.
Does he take diuretic- medication or foods after/with dinner? Is he completely emptying each time? Personally I drink a small Gatorade Zero at bedtime, it has greatly reduced my need to urinate in the night. I found this article helpful https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/in-depth/bladder-control-problem/art-20046597#:~:text=Coffee%2C%20tea%20and%20carbonated%20drinks,Spicy%20foods.
Did you ever resolve the issue with your mother's LTC company not allowing payment to you, even though you work for an agency, for taking care of your mother? Are you still taking care of her? And now your father, also?
Does he have the same LTC policy that your mother has? Have you hired an agency to provide help that is NOT you, so that there is paid help?
Others have mentioned a male urinal bottle, this can work and can be almost hands free.
There are systems where one can attach a "holder" to the side of the bed to position and secure the urinal bottle. Then and a dripless hose goes from the bottle to a "cup" (where one pees into). That cup can be positioned near where it needs to be used at night. If you have plastic sheets or an incontinence pad under them at night and this set up with the "cup" positioned for easy use it can work. Velcro can help position and keep things where they need to be.
Also install -- Alexa can do this, Google nest too, other options -- voice activated lights so he can say "lights on" to turn on a light in his room, near the bed in order to see what he is doing. Have individually pkg hand wipes there by the bed (could be in a "bed pocket" on the side of the bed along with a small trash can (hanging type on the side of the bed).
My mother (96 yo) has dementia, and there are occasional nights when she gets up every 3 hours to go to the bathroom, no matter what steps have been taken. Ugh.
But for the most part, these things have worked to insure that most nights she sleeps through the night.....
1. No napping during the day. I get her up around 11:30 am and have her stay up until around 5:00/5:30 pm. This is when she drinks water, she eats, we talk (somewhat), she gets physical therapy etc. Sitting up also helps keep her lungs clear.
2. She gets 2 AZO Cranberry gummies to help with bladder health. (She thinks they're candy.)
3. Before bedtime (around 5 pm) she gets one 25 mg CBD fruit gummy and one 3 mg melatonin gummy. (She thinks it's candy.)
4. I also make sure that she has regular bowel movements. If she skips a day, I give her Milk of Magnesia before bedtime and the next day she will have a BM. (I've found that being irregular will also interrupt her sleep.)
5. I have a sleep white noise machine by her bed that has ocean wave sounds. Very calming and she always loved the beach and the ocean.
She takes no pharmaceuticals and no MiraLax which can cause mental disruptions. The Milk of Magnesia works naturally.
(I tried Tramadol and it had the opposite effect. Some people just can't take the synthetic pharmaceuticals.)
Even though she wear Depends underwear, she still tries not to soil herself and is mostly continent.
Good morning, I had the same problem with my husband until I bought the urinal that attaches to a bag. I bought it from Amazon. Saved my sleepless nights of having to help him. I bought a little stand from walmart that he can hook the urinal on and set it right next to his bed. Just incase there is leakage, which I have not run into yet, I do place plastic on the floor and put the bag in a plastic open square container. This way if the tubing leaks, or the bag leaks I have double coverage. Your father would not have to leave the bed if he uses this. We have been using this system for 2 years now. My husband is bedridden.
If your father can stand by himself another idea is to get one of those standing urinals that he can pee into and the urine drains into a container as well and set it right next to his bed. A friend of mine uses this.
There are many gadgets out there that will help you. Amazon is a great place to look because people give their reviews with their situation and it is very helpful. Good luck!!
My husband used a urinal(s) for years after his stroke. He had a whole stable of them on his nightstand and I would empty them in the morning. Then he started wetting the bed so we went to the condom catheters for night. That worked really well until I got tired of putting them on/off. Then we got a supra-public catheter. What a wonderful thing that is! So easy - just dump the pee in the morning & you're done! I change the catheter myself and that's easy too. I love my undisturbed sleep and this has been the best solution for both of us. Now we both get a good night's sleep. Talk to his urologist and don't let them brush you off.
I would definitely check with the doctor to see if he has a UTI. His doctor can give him prescription medications to try that may reduce all night urination. Avoiding caffeinated, carbonated, and tart drinks after 2pm can also help cut down on night time urination. Basically, avoiding anything that tickles/stimulates the bladder. I have also read that some families put in a permanent catheter so they only have to change the bag twice a day helps everyone get the rest that they need. If your Dad has advanced Dementia, he might be tempted to pull it out, so it may not work for him. Wearing disposable mens under garments with an added pad in the middle that is easy to remove, change out, and dispose of is another option. There are also disposable undergarments that hold up to 104 ounces and keep moisture away from the skin. It may be a bit bulky, but worth a try. He would have to learn how to just let it go. It may take practice during the day. When you have to get up every hour to urinate it can destroy getting good quality sleep and exacerbate Dementia symptoms. Good luck with everything,
Getting up at night to go to the bathroom was what initiated nighttime care givers for us because my Mom was a fall risk. She would go 3-5 times in succession to the bathroom, before settling down, then .5-1.5 hours later, get up and go again. The caregivers logged her getting up over 25 times a night.
The caregivers noticed that liquid left her body the first 2 times of the consecutive wakeups, however, there was nothing after that. We tried limiting her liquids without success and we knew that she did not have a UTI.
The first thought was that it was dementia that was causing her to go multiple times a time (she may not have remembered that she went or confusion in the signals to her brain). However, what I think might have been an underlying cause is that her muscles were no longer strong enough to hold urine in her bladder, therefore a slight amount of liquid was triggering the urge to go.
She is well into her dementia now and in a MC unit. The caregivers tell her to empty her bladder and she has been put on a toilet schedule. However, that doesn't stop the leaks. She has very weak core muscle strength and she has learned to go to the bathroom while sleeping (which makes her even more of a fall risk). When she is awake during the day, she doesn't go to the toilet as often, because I believe, she is more cognizant of holding urine in the bladder.
So I don't know if your Dad will understand PT or not. You might want to look into exercises that strengthen that area of the bladder.
My husband had the same problem and myrbetriq only caused urinary incontinence. We have a new urologist now who has said that men need 2 meds - one for flow (and prostate) - in order for myrbetriq to work properly. The tamsulosin has already improved stream and helped him to empty his bladder completely so he doesn't have to get up as often. I'm hopeful that when we start the myrbetriq next week it will work as intended to reduce his urges and frequency.
I know this is difficult. I would say, no liquid after 5pm or something close to that. Sips of water only.
As other(s) mentioned, check with medical provider for medication. Your sleep is critically important. ... what I would suggest is having disposable underwear on him and let him go in the bed. Make sure that there are 'wall-to-wall' (entire bed) covered with disposal pad(s) - get the larger ones.
* While I do not know any details of your dad's condition, it is time for him to go into assisted living or facility where they can / would check on him throughout. the night?
* Clearly, it may be a huge stretch to go from incontinence during the night to moving him into a facility. I am concerned as you all need to sleep.
I am confident that others here with other / more experience will give yousome supportive suggestions.
Suggestion depending on his physical and mental condition. No liquids after 9pm. Don't worry, he will not dehydrate before 6am. If taking medication, do so with apple sauce. Try urinal, bed pads, overnight adult diapers. YOU GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP.
GIve him a small bottle of water at 5 Dont give him anything to drink after 7 If he still gives you a hard time Use the small bottle and pour a little water in it, like a sip full at a time
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best wishes to you and your father.
Does he go all the way into the bathroom? If you put a commode chair next to his bed, could he use that by himself instead?
Otherwise there may be a medication for this problem.
Getting up to pee at night is one of the primary causes of falls for the elderly. It's dark and they are disoriented and in a hurry.
I swear we tried every bladder spasm medication out there and none of them helped. His urologist also tried putting Botox in his bladder as that supposedly can help calm the bladder down, but that too didn't help.
For a while I would just use a plastic urinal overnight so he wouldn't have to get out of bed, though I still had to to hold the urinal for him as he only had use of one arm/hand.
Running on no sleep was one of the hardest parts of my caregiving journey, and it's really so very harmful for all involved.
Finally my husbands urologist recommended that he get a supra pubic(permanent)catheter, which was a Godsend for sure. I only had to empty his catheter bag twice a day and we both were finally able to sleep through the night.
It's hard this I know. Make sure that that your dad sleeps in Depends or some kind of diaper(but don't call them that in front of him)and has several waterproof pads under him, and if you can, try convincing him to stay in the bed and just pee in his Depends. Just know that that if he agrees to that that he will be soaked whenever he finally does get up, so be prepared to have to change and clean him thoroughly.
At one point with my husband I had to tell him that after midnight he couldn't get up until 3:00 a.m. and then again not until 6:00 a.m. so I could at least get a few hours sleep.(this of course was before he got the catheter) I would set my alarm for both times and both times he would be absolutely soaked, so I would have to change him and clean him up before I could go back to sleep. But having several waterproof pads under him meant that I just needed to get the wet one out and there was already a dry one under him.
I wish you the very best in getting things figured out and mostly I wish you rest.
Urinary Tract Infections will cause one to feel like they need to go to the bathroom quite frequency.
If it isn't an UTI, then the doctor can prescribe meds geared to help with that type of situation. One product is Flomax.
I'm don't see how Depends will help. He is waking on his own? He will continue to wake even in Depands. Then will still want to get up.
Personally I drink a small Gatorade Zero at bedtime, it has greatly reduced my need to urinate in the night.
I found this article helpful https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/in-depth/bladder-control-problem/art-20046597#:~:text=Coffee%2C%20tea%20and%20carbonated%20drinks,Spicy%20foods.
Does he have the same LTC policy that your mother has? Have you hired an agency to provide help that is NOT you, so that there is paid help?
If he takes in fluids earlier in the day, or according to a different schedule it may help.
You don’t want to restrict fluids, just change the timing.
There are systems where one can attach a "holder" to the side of the bed to position and secure the urinal bottle. Then and a dripless hose goes from the bottle to a "cup" (where one pees into). That cup can be positioned near where it needs to be used at night. If you have plastic sheets or an incontinence pad under them at night and this set up with the "cup" positioned for easy use it can work. Velcro can help position and keep things where they need to be.
Also install -- Alexa can do this, Google nest too, other options -- voice activated lights so he can say "lights on" to turn on a light in his room, near the bed in order to see what he is doing. Have individually pkg hand wipes there by the bed (could be in a "bed pocket" on the side of the bed along with a small trash can (hanging type on the side of the bed).
But for the most part, these things have worked to insure that most nights she sleeps through the night.....
1. No napping during the day. I get her up around 11:30 am and have her stay up until around 5:00/5:30 pm. This is when she drinks water, she eats, we talk (somewhat), she gets physical therapy etc. Sitting up also helps keep her lungs clear.
2. She gets 2 AZO Cranberry gummies to help with bladder health. (She thinks they're candy.)
3. Before bedtime (around 5 pm) she gets one 25 mg CBD fruit gummy and one 3 mg melatonin gummy. (She thinks it's candy.)
4. I also make sure that she has regular bowel movements. If she skips a day, I give her Milk of Magnesia before bedtime and the next day she will have a BM. (I've found that being irregular will also interrupt her sleep.)
5. I have a sleep white noise machine by her bed that has ocean wave sounds. Very calming and she always loved the beach and the ocean.
She takes no pharmaceuticals and no MiraLax which can cause mental disruptions. The Milk of Magnesia works naturally.
(I tried Tramadol and it had the opposite effect. Some people just can't take the synthetic pharmaceuticals.)
Even though she wear Depends underwear, she still tries not to soil herself and is mostly continent.
I will print this out for my use / clients. Gena
If your father can stand by himself another idea is to get one of those standing urinals that he can pee into and the urine drains into a container as well and set it right next to his bed. A friend of mine uses this.
There are many gadgets out there that will help you. Amazon is a great place to look because people give their reviews with their situation and it is very helpful. Good luck!!
Gena / touch matters
I wonder if he could use a urinal by himself?
That would certainly help.
The caregivers noticed that liquid left her body the first 2 times of the consecutive wakeups, however, there was nothing after that. We tried limiting her liquids without success and we knew that she did not have a UTI.
The first thought was that it was dementia that was causing her to go multiple times a time (she may not have remembered that she went or confusion in the signals to her brain). However, what I think might have been an underlying cause is that her muscles were no longer strong enough to hold urine in her bladder, therefore a slight amount of liquid was triggering the urge to go.
She is well into her dementia now and in a MC unit. The caregivers tell her to empty her bladder and she has been put on a toilet schedule. However, that doesn't stop the leaks. She has very weak core muscle strength and she has learned to go to the bathroom while sleeping (which makes her even more of a fall risk). When she is awake during the day, she doesn't go to the toilet as often, because I believe, she is more cognizant of holding urine in the bladder.
So I don't know if your Dad will understand PT or not. You might want to look into exercises that strengthen that area of the bladder.
Just thoughts....
I would say, no liquid after 5pm or something close to that. Sips of water only.
As other(s) mentioned, check with medical provider for medication.
Your sleep is critically important. ... what I would suggest is having disposable underwear on him and let him go in the bed. Make sure that there are 'wall-to-wall' (entire bed) covered with disposal pad(s) - get the larger ones.
* While I do not know any details of your dad's condition, it is time for him to go into assisted living or facility where they can / would check on him throughout. the night?
* Clearly, it may be a huge stretch to go from incontinence during the night to moving him into a facility. I am concerned as you all need to sleep.
I am confident that others here with other / more experience will give yousome supportive suggestions.
Gena / Touch Matters
Dont give him anything to drink after 7
If he still gives you a hard time
Use the small bottle and pour a little water in it, like a sip full at a time