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Verbal aggression from my Mom to me (her daughter and caregiver) began a few months ago and three nights ago her physical aggression began. This is heartbreaking for me and wonder if anyone knows if these episodes always increase in both frequency and severity, and what are the most appropriate steps to follow (aside from medications)? Please do not suggest that I place her in NH; this is not an option for me.

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mama3111, the aggression doesn't always escalate. In the case of my mother, she went through a verbally aggressive phase that lasted a year or two. Now she is in a sweeter phase, even though the things she says and asks for can drive me crazy. Maybe it will be that way with your mother.

You may be opposed to medications, but sometimes a mild sedative can help on the bad days. Fear and anger are flip sides of the same coin. Sometimes a person can feel fear, then act aggressively out of fear. It is not a good feeling for either side. We know that there is no healing dementia at the present time. All we can do is try to make it easier on the person. This can also make it easier on the caregiver.

The thing I've done when my mother got verbally aggressive was to leave the room. She only got physically aggressive once, but I am stronger and faster, so her blows didn't connect. To tell you the truth, I would not have been able to stay if that had happened often. I like me too much for that.
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Is she being followed by a geriatrician or geriatric neurologist who can advise you on these issues?

I would not be able to live with myself if I were not giving my mother the comfort of medications that reduce her fear and anxiety. I would also count myself neglectful if she weren't in a facility with 24/7 access to RNS , as well as MDs, APRNs, and Wound Care docs on a daily basis. To each his own.
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