I have another question. This one is about my Mothers primary care doctor's nurse telling my mother she has dementia before any test and/or interviews were conducted to determine if she does in fact have dementia. Last October Mom had a stroke the doctor called it a TIA stroke. She was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks afterwards and there was a follow-up appointment with the primary dr 2 weeks after that. The hospital sent over all her records of her hospital stay and when we went to that appointment the nurse told her the report said she had dementia. I don't know why this nurse would rely that information because the doctor sure didn't. The last time we were at the doctors this same nurse was very cold toward me and if looks could kill I would be a goner. Today I called the doctors office to inquire about a fax number and was told it was a private fax number and why did I want it? I wanted to fax over some questions to the doctor for another follow-up with the stroke and the new info on the dementia. She flatly refused to give it to me and suggested Mom and I come early and she would give the questions to the doc and if he had time he could look them over. I also asked if the geriatric doc had sent over the test result on the dementia, I'm not exaggerating here this women was so rude on the phone it was like she hated me and I've only seen this woman maybe 4 times in the last 3years. Anyway my question is can she tell people things that are in their records that the person doesn't even have a clue as to what is going on yet and if she is telling my Mother who else is she telling that she shouldn't be? BTW I have POA for medical and health on my Mother and this nurse has that paperwork in Mothers file.
Thank you
Technically, in either case, there is no breach of confidentiality in this nurse's giving your mother information about your mother. There is, or at least may well be, a significant breach of common sense and professional judgement, though; added to which if she has given a firm medical opinion before your mother's doctor was prepared to hazard one, then frankly she's gone well beyond her pay grade. She is a blabbermouth. It happens.
How much do you like your mother's primary doctor? Do you rate him, would you be reluctant to switch? Because what you do about Blabbermouth would very much depend on how keen you are to stick with this medical practice.
1. Look for another primary care practice, one where the partners and their support team have a good track record on dementia, and move your mother there. She may love this doctor, but to be honest these decisions are not long going to be hers to make - might as well start as you mean to go on. If you do decide to change doctors, do your homework carefully - don't want to jump from the frying pan into the fire.
2. Stick with the devil you know. In that case, you complain formally. I still don't think there's a confidentiality issue, but you have legitimate concerns about how your mother's care was approached on this occasion and, by the sound of it, on others too.
You complain in writing: check with your local authorities for guidance on how you go about it. Your complaint should detail what happened, when, who was involved and what you're worried about; and you should also be clear about what response you expect - for example, an explanation, an apology, a change in personnel or process, an undertaking that no new information will be given to your mother without your explicit approval, whatever you think is appropriate and proportionate.
This nurse's attitude to you, though, is a tricky one. The feeling you get that she's got something personal against you is something I'd be inclined to leave out of a formal complaint. She might just not be a very friendly person, or maybe you remind her of the school bully - it could be absolutely anything. I agree with AandA that I might, if it seemed the right time, say "is there something I've done to offend you? I always have the feeling that you're annoyed with me." It could be that she's harbouring a grudge on totally mistaken grounds and you succeed in clearing the air; or it could be that she'll start imagining you're accusing her of something and she gets in a strop - only you can judge the right time for this, of course. More importantly, how is she towards your mother, though? Sweet and kind or on the brusque/dismissive side? It could be that she takes issue with your attitude to your mother, one way or the other - thinks you're too soppy/thinks you don't include her enough - who knows.
On the other hand, specific instances of rudeness are something you perhaps should complain about. Is it just this one nurse, or do all the staff at the practice take the same kind of line? If it's just the individual, personally I'd rather take it up with her direct that complain about her to her superiors; if it's all of them, then cite examples but don't name names.
Whatever you decide to do, try not to get upset, and try not to sound accusatory. You're stating facts, clarifying what the problem is, and asking for it to be put right. It's called a complaint because you've spotted a problem and you're proposing a solution to it, not because you're a heart-sink nightmare relative!
I also second the opinion that it could be worth making a complaint about this nurse. To just say oh BTW the report says you have dementia, without anyone being able to take time to explain that, does not seem right...and if it was just a tentative or a rule-out diagnosis in advance of getting a full evaluation, it was definitely not right. Aphasia is not dementia, and mild cognitive impairment is not dementia, and those might be the correct diagnoses after the evaluation. I think the nurse who is acting hateful might know she screwed up and might be trying to put you off by being hostile and avoid having someone tell the doctor what she did.