My brother and I entered into a care agreement for my mother for a monthly amount for her care, she lives with him. Last year my sister in law sent me a text asking if I was available to watch mom on Thursdays from 11-3 and if I couldn’t she would be looking into care, could cost 25-35 an hour. I let her know that would not work for me. They proceeded to have this helper come over to help. I received a text from my brother a few months ago telling me that they had been paying this person cash from their own account and would be accessing my mothers joint account to recoup the cost. He never did complete that transaction. My mother passed recently and we are settling the estate and again he is referencing that he will be wanting to recoup these expenses. I am unsure how much this will amount to. He was receiving a monthly payment for care for my mother, should additional charges for care be added on when they are not caring for her during these times. He has also received money from his employer for her care at some points. I have no idea how much he claimed on those benefits. Thoughts?
Your brother should of kept records for the caregiving he paid? Did you realize she was getting extra care from care giving?
To be completely honest on my feelings towards the work I do for my mother. I go about 3 days a week and In the end Im walking away from it all. I honestly want nothing, because I'm not going to get involved in the money aspect of it all. I do it because I want what's best for mom. Honestly I don't care if every penny is gone towards her caregiving. That's just me though. Everyone is different, I see to many people arguing over this and that. My biggest worry is her wellbeing.
So so about your mom
I feel the same way. I couldn't care less if everything goes towards paying hired help or a care facility.
If your brother and his wife were trustworthy enough for you to agree to have your mother (who needed care) living with them and having them provide it, I'd say you should take him at his word when he says he is owed money. He is.
Just because family are the paid caregiver doesn’t mean they can’t get breaks like any other job and have hired help from the outside cover for a few hours a week and be paid for by Mom .
The family care agreement should have been amended to reflect the change . A prorated deduction for the 4 hours a week could have been figured out for the family’s pay which would have saved alittle of Mom’s money .
Your Mom still should have paid the full amount of the outside help coming in . No job requires the employee to pay for another employee to cover their time off .
You can’t have it both ways. If you set up a paid care agreement , it’s just like a job . Your Mom pays all employees for the hours they work .
Also it’s not like they did this behind your back. They told you . Someone had to be with Mom
I would ask him just how much in expenses he is hoping to recoup, and just how/or from WHOM he thinks this money would/should come. Legally, if you are executor, you will be acting now according to the Will (or Trust if that is the case) and you need not include any "he said/she said" expenses.
This all depend upon how much you care about your brother and your SIL, and etc. Depends upon what mountain you are willing to die upon.
That is to say, legally he has no standing unless this is written into the contract. Morally is up for you to decide according to your own moral code.
By entering into a care agreement does this mean that you were giving him money to care for Mom? Who was paying him to care for Mom because if he did get paid for those hours then that money is used to offset the cost of an aide. He is double dipping IMO if he takes money from the estate and was paid too. Now if he was paid, lets say $15.00 an hour and the aide cost $25 then he is entitled to the difference of $10.
Never heard of an employer paying for care of a LOs mother. Did brother have time built up. Such as he was not paid for overtime but he was allowed comp time to use as he pleased. He used it by taking off work early.
Like Alva said, there are just somethings you have to let go. For Probate though, you may need receipts. I got my out of pocket back, but I had receipts to back me up.
The employer thing was some sort of benefit? My SIL said it could only be claimed/used during times where he was present at work, working. They would have to account with name and ssn I believe.