It may be too late, but decisions about medicine to the point of sedation have occurred as part of a decision to withdraw eating and drinking (no food or water). There was no family meeting on this. The decision was made by one person and now it has been three days that my parent has not woken up or had anything to eat or drink.
As an immediate family member, you can ask to speak to the social worker in charge of your mom's case and ask all the questions you want. Perhaps that'll help you understand better what's actually going on.
"As an immediate family member, you can ask to speak to the social worker in charge of your mom's case and ask all the questions you want. Perhaps that'll help you understand better what's actually going on."
Hospice doesn't 'kill' people or hasten death; they keep patients comfortable while nature takes its course.
It's also a good idea to remember this: hospice can be fired at any time, ANY TIME, and your parent can be brought to the hospital.
Were you expecting/hoping to have a voice in the hospice decision? Because, if your mom was capable of making the decision on her own, that is/was her right.
My mom *chose* hospice, and all of the medical decisions that implied, including cessation of life saving procedures and given pain medication at the end, even if it hastened death. She not only agreed to hospice, she was actively involved in the decision-making process, AND she had expressed her desire for pain management (even at the price of hastening her death) at the end of life in both a living will, and the opening statement of her trust documentation.
Was your mom cognitively able to make the decision about hospice? If not, was it dad who decided? Did hospice have a meeting with family members when mom was enrolled in the program, and if so, were you there when hospice went over all of their rules and philosophies? When my mother was accepted, we had a 2 hour meeting with the intake nurse, who went over everything with us and answered any questions. They explained everything in detail and left no questions unanswered, and they were very upfront about comfort medication at the end. Did anyone do that with mom and/or whomever it was who decided to accept hospice services on her behalf?
Who was it who administered/is administering these medications to your mom? Because, with the exception of Tylenol, I was the one who gave my mom ALL of the EOL comfort medications at the end. I had absolute control over when and how much to give. So if anyone overmedicated my mother, it was me, not hospice.
I'm very sorry if you feel as though you have had no say in your mom's treatment, but if this has been mom's decision (or dad's, if mom can't make the decision on her own anymore) I think you need to respect that decision, even if you don't like it or don't agree with it. My mother's sister gave me grief about my mother choosing hospice, and I told her that, while I understood her feelings, I was supporting my mom's decision to do what she felt was best *for her*, and the best way for my aunt to honor her sister and show her love was to do the same.
If the one person holds power of attorney for medical decisions, then yes, they can make the decision unilaterally. Perhaps they realized that medical-decision-by- committee wasn't the best way to help your mother in her final days/hours and didn't want the drama of everyone having hysterics and arguing about the decisions going on around Mom. Someone has to be captain of the ship, and if the other sailors are going to mutiny and not be helpful, then I can't say I blame your sibling/person/whoever we're talking about for making the decision alone.
There is not enough medication given to overdose someone. Better sedated than to be in constant pain.
Was the person who helped make decisions the Medical POA? Is Dad not able to make informed decisions in ur mothers care? I would think the Hospice Nurse explained everything to Dad and the other person. Hospice is comfort care. The person should feel no pain or anxiety. If sleeping all the time helps them transition to a peaceful death then so be it.
My Mom was in a NH when she passed. Two weeks before her death she closed her eyes. She was aware of her surroundings but would not open her eyes. Then she would not get out of her bed so I said "leave her there". Six days before her death I was told she could not swallow and Hospice was called in. I have no idea what was given to her in way of medication. All I know is every time I visited she was lying there breathing easily and in no discomfort. Her last day my nephew and I visited and left about 12:30pm. She was pronounced dead 20 min later. She was 89 and suffered from Dementia the last 6 yrs of her life.
I think it may help to talk to the Social Worker associated with Hospice. You may be blaming someone who made the correct decisions.
They don't withhold food and drink, dying people often refuse because their organs are shutting down and it is painful to eat or drink.
I am sorry that you didn't understand what hospice was when it was brought in.