7 weeks ago my husband had to go to the hospital. His blood levels were all off, red too low, white too high. He has MDS. He also gets gout all the time. He was in the hospital for a week. , They then sent him to rehab where his spirits picked up. In rehab his white cell count went way up so he had to go back to the hospital. Was there another week and then sent back to rehab. Since then he's been in the hospital every week. He starts to get stronger and then back to hospital because he needs transfusions, etc. Now he is very despondent and hardly eats. He sleeps all the time and hardly talks when I visit him. He also started to mess his diaper and he Never did that before all of this started happening. How can I get him to want to get better? He is 74 which I think is too young to just give up on life. What can I do to help him? Anyone else have this problem?
Eventually, my mom just gave up. I knew she was giving up and I fought tooth and nail to turn her around. I tried compassion, tough love, threats, begging, guilt....everything under the sun all to no avail. She had her mind made up. She withdrew from everything and everyone and during all of this she grew progressively weaker and weaker. She was taking in very little fluid or food. She drank 1 Ensure a day and that was about it. We lost her not too long after all of this had begun. She lasted like this for about 2 months although my memory is kind of hazy about the timing. It was quick, that I know.
If there is some way to pull someone back from this I'd like to know it because I was unsuccessful in doing so with my mom. She had gone through a lot of health issues but they had been cleared up when she withdrew. I couldn't understand why she just gave up when she had been given a clean bill of health at the time.
Her death certificate says she died of heart failure but we all die of heart failure. In my opinion she died from depression.
He is not doing anything for himself that I know he is capable of. The situation is similar to above, it's just the reason is different. I don't know whether to tell all the extra help to quit coming and see if he will do for himself or what to do.
The main point of your question is the thing you have no control over. Some people are fighters and the others are not. I have had to fight for my health since I was 13. My husband is letting his dementia take its course. That made me crazy for years but I have come to peace with it. I know there will be a day when I'm tired of fighting but that won't happen until my husband passes. I have to stay strong for him because he can't do that for himself.
Over the years as a professional caregiver I have noticed that many, many older people are suffering from a lack of good nutrition, for many reasons. If a person is deficient in key nutrients it is common for that person to slide into disinterest and apathy.
I suggest getting your loved one to a Naturopathic doctor. They know how to test for deficiencies and they know what to do. I have been suggesting to families and clients that they include liquid forms of three vitamins for which we have all seen wonderful results. I have never seen an adverse reaction because these are nutrients.
Liquid Vitamin B Complex, liquid Vitamin D3, and liquid Folic Acid with B12.
These nutrients help increase appetite, calm the nervous system, also help people sleep. I have been taking these religiously for over 40 years.
You might decide to take them yourself. I suggest looking at Dr. Andrew Weil's website and some of his books (at the library).