the tantrum started over me turning the heat down 2 degrees..It was so bad she threatened to call the police and have me removed from the house (I live here), and I really think if she had been up she would have hit me. Then this morning she was slamming the kitchen chairs on the floor (my bedroom is under the kitchen) and it was 5 o'clock in the morning. There have been other incidents like this , this is just an example of behavior lately. I t seems the incidents have increased in the last six months. Is it time to see a doctor? If yes, what kind of doctor and how do I get this woman to the doctor, how do I approach this with her?
I would talk to the doctor about it. Anger and anxiety are often two sides of the same coin. It may be that she needs some help handling the emotions she is going through.
The thing I found that helped me most when it was happening was to try to tell myself that it was her and not me. I avoided her when she was angry.
Something I wondered is if you have to live with your mother. I don't know what the financial situation is and how much she needs you to be there. If it becomes unbearable, it may be better to live close by, but not with your mother. Something I suspected with my mother is that she really didn't want me here, but she needed me here. I mean, who really wants their grown daughter to move back in? I could sympathize with that, since I didn't really want to be here, either. I think the dependency and the resentment of the dependency can be the root of the problem in many instances. I know that my own resentment led me to much anger that I tried to bottle up.
Anyway... I know how you feel. You'll just have to decide if you will be able to stay or not. Being on the receiving end of anger can be emotionally and physically bad for you. I hope the doctor can help or that you'll be able to make other arrangements for yourself (if needed).
Your profile says her primary ailment is hearing loss. But something is causing these tantrums and it doesn't seem likely to be hearing loss. Especially if this a dramatic departure from her baseline personality she should be checked medically.
Does she have a primary care provider now? If she gets on well and respects this person, that might be where to start. But if that is not the case, I'd try to get her to see a geriatrician. Use any excuse you think will work to get her in. It is time for a flu shot. Her insurance wants all seniors to have a check up. I don't think I'd mention it had to do with her tantrums. But do anything you think might work.
Write a brief explanation of what concerns you about your mother's behavior and send it in to the doctor before he or she sees your mother. If at all possible, go into the exam room with Mom.
The pcp or geriatrician may refer Mom to a specialist.
How long have you lived with your Mom? Her house or yours? Do you work? Do you take care of Mom? A little more detail may help others respond.
This is not normal behavior and I think she should be evaluated by a Dr. Start with her primary care Dr.
I agree with Jeanne, a few more details would probably help us help you find some temporary solutions until you can get her to the Dr.
As for your mother, I also agree that sending her to a Dr would be a good start. Sometimes behavior changes in the elderly could be caused by Thyroid, electrolyte imbalances or a bladder infection (although if this started 6mos ago, I would think the infection would be pretty symptomatic by now).
If she is beginning mental changes from dementia, there are medications (i.e. Valproic acid) that could moderate mood swings. Ativan is also commonly given to help with anxiety.
Good luck, ba8alou