So sick of my Mother defending my absentee sibling. My sibling just has bad luck, doesn't have enough time, has a "real" job, is a boy and boys aren't caretakers, his wife doesn't like her, he lives too far away to visit....blah, blah, blah.
I realize that this is how she was raised, but I am the one shouldering the burden. She figures that she did for her mother it so now it's my turn. The difference is that I own my own business and sometimes work 10 hour days right through the weekend. (of course, since I work for myself, she thinks that calling me 10 times a day is not an interruption. Reminders do not help...some passive/agressive stuff happening here)
What really bothers me is that she only sees me as her free errand runner. She has no interest in doing anything "fun" with me unless it includes schlepping her to her numerous doctor's appointments or running errands. I had this silly notion that somehow we could have some quality time together...time is so short. But it is turned into me doing all the "grunt" work and all the male members of my family sitting at home like little kings.
To add to my frustration she calls me nearly every other day an regales me with all of their adventures. So and so is going on a cruise, etc.
I just want to scream, "what do I care about them?" These family members never call her, never visit, and have practically forgotton her. I feel bad for her so I do not say what is on my mind.
But if there is going to be any "hero worship" shouldn't it be for the person who is taking care of you?
My real question is: how do you handle this when your parent constantly greets you with "you got to do this for me...?"
I also think that it is none of my business what kind of relationship each sibling has with the parents. I decide what kind of relationship I myself wish to maintain with them and that's it.
I am the middle child of 11 siblings and this probably has an influence on my independence of thoughts. However, I have noticed that we can only make choices for ourselves, not for others. And we are responsible for our choices. Martha, Martha.
Do you think he would ever get to the point of NOT answering her phone calls? That would be a big step, yes!