She is extremely angry and mean and threatens to take out a warrant if I don't give her the car keys back. Three doctors have told her she can't drive.They have sent her letter telling her why it is best if she doesn't drive. She will call me up to sixteen times in one day harassing me about this issue. Is it wrong of me to take the phone off the hook? I really need advice on what I can do to handle this. THanks so much!
I don't think it's wrong to take the phone off the hook for a while. Maybe you could redirect her with some other activities (like Adult Day Care ... some provide transportation) or something (some cities have transportation for the elderly at a discounted cost). I assume she lives by herself?
If you give this some time, it will get better as she gets used to not driving. I hope it gets better quickly. There's nothing wrong with filtering her calls until it does. Good thoughts coming your way as you go through this.
If it wasn't the car keys, it would be something else.
I have know people to give the elderly parent a set of dummy keys. The parent couldn't start the car, but it kept them happy.
Losing the ability to drive is a HUGE issue to many people. My husband was not angry at me or at the doctor, but he was angry in general about not driving. I'd say it took him a solid year for his depression about that to lessen. It is tough!
Does Mother have in-home help? Most people with dementia reach a point where they cannot live alone. Is Mother perhaps at that point?
I refuse to discuss the driving issue with my Mom. She may not remember (so you may need to repeat it many, many times), but you may want to consider telling her you will not discuss it further, and if she continues to harass you about it, you won't answer the phone.
I live with my Mom and when she brings it up (or tries to start any kind of confrontation), I leave the room & close & lock the door. That is the advice the Alzheimer's Association gave me. I tend to stay in there for about an 30-60 minutes, and when I come out, she's usually forgotten.