I help shower my 91 year old aunt only once a week along with her caregiver. It is starting to kill my back between bending, reaching and twisting. Aunt has advanced dementia but is able to get on her shower bench. She cannot help other than standing and sitting. I sit on the side of the bath tub in front facing her with a handheld shower head for a lot of the washing. Standing is hard for me because she is so short. Any ideas would be appreciated. I stretch before and after and do some basic yoga. Maybe her showers are over? She gets sponge baths on the other days. She enjoys the showers so much and I hate to stop.
If that doesn't sound feasible, then you can either hire someone else to come help with her shower, or as you said, just stop the showers and continue with the sponge baths.
If your aunt is safe standing in a shower get a used walker (I used to get them at resale shops for under $5.00) she can hold onto the walker while in the shower and that would give her support.
I would not do this in a tub as the floor of a tub is curved and the walker may slide more easily.
If the caregiver is from an agency ask the agency to send 2 people when your aunt needs a shower. It will be safer for the caregiver, safer for you and safer for your aunt.
Another option is to forego the shower and do a bed bath. They can be done well. They can be done without getting the entire bed wet. It might be more relaxing for your aunt and she may not struggle thus making it safer for everyone (not to mention more relaxing)
What do you mean by sit on the side of the tub? Is she steady enough to do that? Sounds dangerous.
It is exhausting to shower them at times because they don’t like to be cold. So I would have the water warm and we as bathers get overheated.
Sponge baths will work if you have to.
Can you get help from Council on Aging. They started bathing mom. Or is she ready for hospice care? They bathe patients too. Can you afford to pay someone through an agency to do it once a week?
Home care staff do the shower now. They may have back pain too 😕 but maybe have more tricks than me.
Retire yourself from showers.
If one carer cannot manage the transfer alone, can you help with that part? If not, two carers will be required shower days. Sponge at sink the other days.
DON'T feel guilty! Your back is important!
Mom sat in her chair and the aide bathed her. Mom has Parkinson’s so she has mobility issues and couldn’t do for herself.
I don’t see why the aide needs your help. What’s the point of having an aide if you are still doing the work? Especially with a bad back! You may end up hurting yourself.
Selective washing - e.g., don't attempt to reach down to her feet when she's seated in the tub. Do them thoroughly but separately, when she's seated in her armchair and you're perhaps able to kneel down (are you?) and spare your back.
Wash hard-to-reach areas such as bottom and groin first, before she gets onto her bath board, then use the shower more for thorough/extra rinsing.
How does your mother get from her wheelchair to anywhere else? - armchair, bed, etc.
Is she able to stand and turn?
Time for a shower aide.
I wrecked my back helping my clients shower. They'd go 'sack of potatoes' on me--just limp and I was holding 160 lbs of rocks and trying to wash them....2 back surgeries and I will be in pain the rest of my life. The $6K I paid out of pocket for those back surgeries would have paid for MANY showers.
Mother showers sitting down and it actually works very well. She can sit in there and really get a good, hot soak. Grab bars are all over the bathroom and she heats it up to about 90 degrees. With urinary incontinence, she really needs these showers to not smell. Plus, you just feel better when you're clean.
A sponge bath would be a far reaching 2nd place, in my book.
If you cannot get help, talk to a PT who can give you ideas on how to support your mom and not hurt yourself in the process. There are a lot of tricks and ways to use their body weight to your advantage.
Sponge-baths can only go so far.
Adust the nozzle where the shower goes on her and don't do anything else other than sitting and watching her enjoy a shower.
Bless you for helping your aunt.