My father is in the beginning stage of dementia. My sister has stayed with him for 9 months now and wants her life back. I plan on moving to Florida in the near future. I have asked him many times to move with me and my boy friend, he said hell no. He has no idea that he can't care for him self. He said when he is ready he will go to assisted living, the problem is the would be all alone. My Daughter and Grandson live in Florida, he would have all of us, HELP how do I convince him to move and sell his place and that this would be the best thing for him? Thanks
Do you have Durable Power of Attorney? I'd consult with an Elder Law attorney about the options, whether you have DPOA or not. You can find out what you can do with the document at this point OR if you need to explore court proceedings. Is he currently able to manage his own household and handle his own daily activities, shopping, meal prep, medical care, medications, use covid precautions, etc? If not, I'd likely try to intervene to make those decisions on his behalf. If he is competent, it's not much you can do, but, wait until he isn't and then try to intervene. A local attorney should be able to explain the process and what you need as evidence.
Another option is to convince him to come with you temporarily for a visit and then prolong the visit so you can care for him. I'd get legal advice on this through, because, there could be complications due to him living in a new state.
I doubt it'll make an impression on your dad, but pointing out that your sister hasn't been there for a nine-month visit might drive home that he's already experienced "assisted living."
Make a list of the things she did for him while she was there (including companionship), and explain how none of that help will be there for him soon.
If he wants to stay in his area, that's his business until you have some kind of decision-making rights. I'd push more for him to move to AL than to Florida with you. He can always move later.
Do you know what you are taking on?
Are you ready to sacrifice ALL, and I mean ALL, of yourself for however long he lives? As in no vacations, no meals out, not being able to leave him alone ever, not even 10 minutes? What about when you go to the grocery store? Will you have someone to be at home while you are out?
Are you okay with helping with his bathroom needs or bathing him? He may not need help with that now, but eventually he will.
When will you do house activities like cleaning or laundry? You aren't going to have the time to do things on your schedule. Really any schedule... whatever routines you have now, will be erased. Your life will revolve around HIM.
How will you handle it when dementia worsens? If he wanders out of the house, or if he gets violent? Even repeating sounds, questions or words for weeks on end (common with dementia), which isn’t dangerous but will drive you insane?
This won’t get easier as it goes on. It will get harder.
My Dad keeps in touch with people by phone. It would not bother him too much where he lived. My Mum, pre Covid, gets together with people on a daily basis. If she was moved from the community that she has lived in for over 55 years, she would be lost.