My Dad just went into a memory care facility in Florida. We relocated to be close to him and visit with him every day. My step mom is now traveling for the summer and refuses to communicate with me as to when she will be back or where she is. I asked the facility if they could put me on the list to be called if anything happens to Dad (falls or hurts himself, has to go to the hospital for anything, etc. ) I want to know that someone is going to be there for him if anything happens.
Step mom has told me she has it "covered", but won't tell me who will be called if she's not there.
She has a POA and the facility won't add me to the list.
Don't even know where to start!!
Lets say Dad was competent. He entered the hospital for whatever reason and did not put u on the HIPPA form. Thats his right. Actually, SM is not entitled to info if Dad does not want her to know. Her being his wife and u his child has nothing to do with his rights.
I think ur just going to have to accept SM is in charge. I would get on her good side. You are going to need to be happy just to visit. Which she can keep you from being able to do. Right, no but she can do it.
As my dad's guardian, I wasn't in your situation, but if I had been, I would have done as I suggested above and would have also given my telephone number to other residents' family members, many of whom I saw nearly every day and we talked about being extra sets of eyes and ears for each other. If you look at your dad's memory care facility as being his home that he shares with other "family members" and get to know this extended family, you'll be able to keep pretty close tabs on your dad, even if you aren't able to convince your stepmom to share more formalized information with you. Best wishes.
As I replied to the others here, I am starting the day with a thankful heart knowing that I can go visit and just sit with my Dad anytime. That's the blessing that I'm going to focus on!
This is a very sad situation. Many stepmoms are wonderful, and blended families live in harmony. Your dad’s wife sounds like the ‘wicked’ stepmom though.
The facility has their hands tied. They are following the legal protocol, so don’t expect this situation to change.
I totally understand why you are upset. I suppose all you can do is to keep checking on your dad.
Has your stepmom told you why she won’t add you on the list to be contacted? Especially, when she is away. Is she a control freak or just insensitive to your feelings?
I do think it's kind of sad that she's traveling for the summer and leaving a husband with memory issues behind. She'll be lucky if he remembers her when she gets back.