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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Without a lot of supporting details, my first thought is that Dad is afraid of falling in the shower. My FIL (deceased many years ago) was reluctant to shower due to the fall risk (he'd had many falls in places much less risky than the shower). This is very real to a person with a falls history. As a result, he opted for baths... but, you guessed it, he eventually got stuck in the tub and could not get out under his own power. He called my DH to get him out and I think additional assist was needed on top of that. Bathing is a huge problem for elders. I'd focus on WHY he won't bathe. Fear is probably pretty high on the list.
People can and do keep themselves clean with sponge baths but IMO the ability to totally rinse off everywhere is good for the body and soul.
Is there a walk in shower or does he need to step over into the tub - this is a huge barrier for a lot of older folks. Does he have a good, sturdy shower chair with a back? Handheld Shower? Grab bars? Anti slip bath mat? Is his bathroom warm enough, is it equipped with a heater?
Hire a caregiver to help him shower, is my first idea. Lots of elders won't say "No" to a stranger, but love to say NO to a family member!
Normally, when an elder refuses to shower, they're either suffering from dementia/Alzheimers or they're afraid of some situation inside the shower, or both.
My mother (with dementia) was deathly afraid of falling in the shower, even though she had caregivers to help her, grab bars, a shower chair, and the shower looked like Fort Knox it was so secure. She felt it was 'slippery' in there. I finally had an idea to buy her a pair of water shoes like you'd wear at the beach when rocks are present in the ocean. That did the trick and she never had another issue taking a shower.
Find out what part of taking a shower your father doesn't like or is afraid of, and then fix it (if possible). Some don't like the force of the water spray, so get him a hand-held shower head that HE can regulate. Those are normally very helpful. If dementia is at play, many elders forget the steps involved TO taking a shower. Or they think they 'just' took a shower that morning so there's no need to take 'another.' One woman was frightened to death when she saw her reflection in the mirror after getting out of the shower, which was remedied with a simple towel over the mirror.
The key is finding out why dad doesn't want to shower, and going from there.
It depends if he’s able to walk & stand on his own. If you have roll in shower, possibly with shower chair. Which is similar to wheelchair with a seat like toilet seat. Otherwise, sponge bath is fine. Hugs 🤗
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is there a walk in shower or does he need to step over into the tub - this is a huge barrier for a lot of older folks.
Does he have a good, sturdy shower chair with a back?
Handheld Shower?
Grab bars?
Anti slip bath mat? Is his bathroom warm enough, is it equipped with a heater?
Normally, when an elder refuses to shower, they're either suffering from dementia/Alzheimers or they're afraid of some situation inside the shower, or both.
My mother (with dementia) was deathly afraid of falling in the shower, even though she had caregivers to help her, grab bars, a shower chair, and the shower looked like Fort Knox it was so secure. She felt it was 'slippery' in there. I finally had an idea to buy her a pair of water shoes like you'd wear at the beach when rocks are present in the ocean. That did the trick and she never had another issue taking a shower.
Find out what part of taking a shower your father doesn't like or is afraid of, and then fix it (if possible). Some don't like the force of the water spray, so get him a hand-held shower head that HE can regulate. Those are normally very helpful. If dementia is at play, many elders forget the steps involved TO taking a shower. Or they think they 'just' took a shower that morning so there's no need to take 'another.' One woman was frightened to death when she saw her reflection in the mirror after getting out of the shower, which was remedied with a simple towel over the mirror.
The key is finding out why dad doesn't want to shower, and going from there.
Good luck!