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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Here's my take on that: Sadness and grief are appropriate reactions to gradually losing a spouse to dementia. There is nothing "wrong" with you that has to be "fixed." But if the perfectly natural feelings are getting in the way of normal functioning and the above-normal functioning needed for caregiving, then it makes sense to consult a mental health professional.
In addition to seeing a therapist, I have two other suggestions: 1) find and join a support group for caregivers of persons with dementia. 2) (if you are a reader) have a look at the book by Pauline Boss called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia."
This on-line support group can be very helpful, too. Even if you just read posts and seldom post yourself, it can help you feel less isolated. It is a connection to others who share some of your experiences.
Thank you for answering. I do belong to a support group and I read that book over a year ago and downloaded to my kindle.just re-read it last week, best book I have found? I don't feel depressed just sadness and grief over the losses..I tend to second guess when I try to figure things out. So much material out there and depression sounds like help is needed, my functioning is ok in all respects, just get emotionally tired of the situation. I think directly (and or maybe indirectly) you have shed some light, thank you again.
I'm sorry to hear how you feel, but I think it is emotionally exhausting dealing with the day to day care. Glad you are part of a support group. It is only natural and normal to feel the way you do. Its hard to see our loved ones become a shadow of their former self.
But if things start to feel too much or if you need more supports, don't be afraid to reach out. Access as many resources as needed. Consider getting more care or alternate care like assisted living. This is my big regret. I let my anger and resentment build and build. For myself, I needed counselling to help me find better ways to cope.
Depression often comes with feelings of sadness or crankiness, fatigue, loss of interest in things that previously brought happiness, loss of motivation. It can also be accompanied by aching in the muscles and joints; feels like you've been run over by a truck. Doc said the physical manifestation is caused by tenseness and loss of sleep, of which you may not be conscious. From my own personal experience, forcing myself to exercise or engage in some physical activity sometimes helps, but ultimately for the long term I had to try several different antidepressants under the care of my doctor until we found one that really works. However, if this is a temporary case of "the blues" I would certainly try the exercise first. Wishing you the best.
I constantly had a "feeling of impending doom",, best way I can explain it. and not wanting to get out of bed. I found some Ativan helped...LOL Good luck here, its a terrible thing.
"impending doom" is The Exact wording of my feelings too. The more I try to hide them, suppress them, change them into something nicer, the more they come back disguised as perfectionism, micro-managing everything, anxiety and anger. So I guess I have to accept them, if not embrace them. I'm just so scared of things to come.
If you know you are experiencing sadness and grief, you already are one step ahead. You are in touch with your feelings, in a way that goes in the opposite direction of depression, you know.
LoveRLabs2 - If you are in an ongoing stressful situation and think you might have some symptoms of depression, I highly encourage talking to your PCP. A trial period on antidepressants may be just what you need. And you can stop the trial if it doesn't help. (It helped me a lot) Blessings, Jamie
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here's my take on that: Sadness and grief are appropriate reactions to gradually losing a spouse to dementia. There is nothing "wrong" with you that has to be "fixed." But if the perfectly natural feelings are getting in the way of normal functioning and the above-normal functioning needed for caregiving, then it makes sense to consult a mental health professional.
In addition to seeing a therapist, I have two other suggestions: 1) find and join a support group for caregivers of persons with dementia. 2) (if you are a reader) have a look at the book by Pauline Boss called "Loving Someone Who Has Dementia."
This on-line support group can be very helpful, too. Even if you just read posts and seldom post yourself, it can help you feel less isolated. It is a connection to others who share some of your experiences.
But if things start to feel too much or if you need more supports, don't be afraid to reach out. Access as many resources as needed. Consider getting more care or alternate care like assisted living. This is my big regret. I let my anger and resentment build and build. For myself, I needed counselling to help me find better ways to cope.
Depression often comes with feelings of sadness or crankiness, fatigue, loss of interest in things that previously brought happiness, loss of motivation. It can also be accompanied by aching in the muscles and joints; feels like you've been run over by a truck. Doc said the physical manifestation is caused by tenseness and loss of sleep, of which you may not be conscious. From my own personal experience, forcing myself to exercise or engage in some physical activity sometimes helps, but ultimately for the long term I had to try several different antidepressants under the care of my doctor until we found one that really works. However, if this is a temporary case of "the blues" I would certainly try the exercise first. Wishing you the best.
If you know you are experiencing sadness and grief, you already are one step ahead. You are in touch with your feelings, in a way that goes in the opposite direction of depression, you know.
Sending you much support.
If you are in an ongoing stressful situation and think you might have some symptoms of depression, I highly encourage talking to your PCP. A trial period on antidepressants may be just what you need. And you can stop the trial if it doesn't help. (It helped me a lot)
Blessings,
Jamie
https://www.psychologytoday.com/tests/health/depression-test
Also talking with others, they said grief is I feel bad about this situation but depression is more about I feel bad about myself.