My Grandma is 88, and has dementia. It has been quite awhile since she has had her hair washed. Usually, we wash her hair in the kitchen sink, but that is not an option because her legs are so weak; she cannot stand there for ten minutes without them shaking and ready to buckle.
Yesterday we (my Mamma and I) talked to her about getting in the shower. A stool is in there for her to sit on, and a detachable shower head so that the water does not spray directly down on her. She can hold it in her hand. We told her to plan on it for tomorrow, (today).
This is something that we are going to help her with. It will ensure that she is squeaky clean from top to bottom.
Today, after her breakfast, I said to her “Now that you have had your oatmeal, and are all set, we can get you all squeaky clean!” She says “okay.”
As she is walking to the bathroom I say to her “When you are finished, we can get you all squeaky like a duck clean!”
My Mamma comes downstairs and says to her about getting in the shower to get all nice and fresh. My Grandma never walked so quick from the bathroom to the living room! With her walker, off she went!
We explained to her that she needs to go in there, and freshen up. She says that the bathroom is cold. It is on the cooler side in there, but not by much at all. I told her that in the shower, it will be all warm and nice! The warm water, the steam, it all adds to a not cold bathroom.
She refused completely, saying she does not want to go in there. That it is too cold. She is too tired, she did not have a good nights sleep, (Not true, considering I heard her snoring all night), also that she cleans herself, which is not true.
My Mamma said to my Grandma that you can smell some body odor, and my Grandma flat out says “I do not care, I am not around any people!” She said “What if an emergency happens and you are around people?” She did not really have an answer.
All in all, my Grandma does not care that she smells, and does not want to get into the shower. How do we get her in there?
Your grandma also mentions she is tired. Maybe she could do a sponge bath.
Got to work around grandma.
The thing is that she was doing spongebaths herself a couple years ago, and has never done one since. She would stand at her sink and take a soapy washcloth and wash her top half, never her bottom half. She needs a good shower!
It may not be too cold for you her caregivers, but much too cold for Grandma. A space heater in the bathroom maybe?
Is it a walk in shower? Is the shower floor rough to prevent slipping, or is there a safety mat that you can put down when she’s in there?
Does your shower stall have grab bars? They can REALLY help!
Have you tried employing a shower aid for an hour a couple times a week? Sometimes an outsider can achieve more than family.
Is there an incentive that she’d shower for? Some little treat, outing, goodies that you could use as a reward?
My mother LOVED showers when a shower lift was used in her residential care center, and she’d never IN HER LIFE taken a shower when she was home.
You have a tough task. As a last resort you might have to consider disposable “bath wipes” that can be heated in the micro and actually work pretty well for the whole body.
There’s also, again as a last resort, pretty good dry shampoo that you sprinkle in like Dusting powder and brush out.
It is not a walk in shower, but getting her physically in there does not seem very difficult. It has a mat!
No grab bars, although I can see how helpful they would be.
We have not, and I was wondering how that would go. It also helps to note that she has become increasingly racist. They can achieve more than family, which is true!
There might ne, and I did not think of that! Have to give it some thought and that there is something that she would shower for!
Really? What a difference! Glad that she loved them!
It is a tough task. Have not heard of those! Thank you for telling me about them.
The dry shampoo too, thank you for telling me about that also!
Next, washing, showering, hair-washing and so on need to be built back into normal routine, not made a special occasion. Showers have fallen out of her normal routine, so what still happens in the way of personal care? You start with where she *is*, and build up from there.
She must still use the bathroom. Does she wash her hands? Try to be there, and next time wash her face as well. Then neck. Then on to taking her blouse off and doing her back and underarms, for example. You could try a foot bath, using a plastic basin, while she sits on the shower stool (dressed); then if she gets used to that, you could use the shower attachment to do her bottom half (say) and her feet. When she gets undressed at night, be ready with a big fluffy towel and a basin of nice warm water - I've only met one person so far who couldn't be coaxed into having his back washed.
Anyway, you get the idea - small steps, and make each one enjoyable. You also need to give her the option of stopping at a negotiated stage: e.g. we'll just do your feet, and after that we can stop if you want to. We'll just clean your teeth. Brush your hair. I'll come and help you change your pants.
You don't have to get there all at once.
And the no-rinse shampoo shower hats are very good.
You are right, they have fallen out of routine. They surely do. I was saying to my Mamma that for example, every Wednesday would be shower day. That way it becomes a routine for her.
They have fallen out of her normal routine, and for years. In the way of personal care, nothing. She has neglected everything but she says she still does them. When you can see that she has not.
She does use the bathroom, but does not wash her hands. She will wash them when I am in there with her and I tell her, and sometimes when I am waiting for her I hear her give them a little rinse.
Everything you have mentioned sounds very smart. She has not been in her shower in years, and has not done one of her sponge baths (top half, which she just washed her armpits, was a couple years ago).
She stays in on her pajamas all day, which consists of a long nightgown. She never gets dressed anymore.
I wonder what it was that he did not like having his back washed.
Thank you :) That is smart! The only thing is that she has not brushed her teeth in a really long time too.
Her hygiene is neglected completely. Does not bathe, does not brush her teeth, does not clip her nails, does not change her nightgown to a fresh one.
Thank you for your help, I appreciate it a lot!
Try putting a space heater in the restroom and assisting her with bathing.
Grandma is tired and cold. :)