My mom's next door neighbor for over 15 years is in need of an advocate. I am worried she is being mistreated and taken advantage of. I know she lives with her sister who is also in need of a caregiver, but she won't allow her to have any kind of help at all. I have heard Margaret ask to be in a nursing home more than once and her sister Mimi wont listen and she physically abuses her if she argues. I have an extra room in my home and would have 0 issues helping this lady and let her stay with me and my fiance. How can I go about getting legal rights to make choices on where she can live and how can I stop her sister from stealing anymore of her money? Just last week her sister used over 10,000 to re-do her floors and I cant sit by watching this happen. Please help.
How long have you known this neighbor and watched the ongoing saga unwind next door?
I am also a bit curious about how it is your know so very much about what is happening next door? Who is telling you about the physical abuse?
Who is telling you about the amounts and who is paying to re-do floors?
If you suspect physical abuse it is time to call 9ll at once.
If you suspect ongoing abuse by the sister please make a report to your local Adult Protective Services.
Please rethink becoming so involved in a neighbor's life that you attempt to take an unrelated elder into your own home.
Call APS immediately and talk to them. Be willing to be an ADVOCATE for this woman, but again, don't take her in.
The chances of you, a neighbor, having any say in this lady's situation is practically nil, b/c she does have relatives. You can keep an eye on her, run in a meal now & then, but beyond that--tread carefully.
You do NOT want to get into this.
If you hear yelling or screaming you can call 911 and report that someone is calling for help, seems to be in need of help and you can let the police handle it as well.
You do not want to take this on.
If there is a local Senior Center you can go in and ask to talk to a Social Worker, you can ask if they can help in any way.
You do not want to take this on.
Have I mentioned you really should not get involved in this.? (other than to report the situation)
I am sure you have your hands full helping your mom.
How do you know the sister took $10,000 to redo her floor? Even if that's true, how is that your business to stop? Maybe it was done for very good reason. Say, the floor was uneven and in bad condition and was a fall hazard. It's a very good idea to redo the floor.
If you really want to help, then come to visit and help out the two sisters Be VERY SURE that there's physical abuse BEFORE you call authority. Otherwise, you're just looking to cause troubles.
Call APS and become less involved, allowing other family or professionals to bring help. It takes persistence, reporting to family if you see them. imo.
The fire department advised that a neighbor would have to fall and need 911 before an intervention was done for my neighbor, in decline. She did fall outside, and 911 came, her son stepped up and took her to a board and care facility.
I was someone who cared too much. You have a good heart, but maybe need to back off a bit. Here's my advice to you, for consideration:
🚑🚑🚑🚑 "NO good deed goes unpunished." 🚑🚑 💞
You need to call APS to investigate. Maybe they can step in and find the woman a place of her own and help with resources.
Your heart may be in the right place but you simply don’t have all of the facts. Things aren’t always as they appear to be.
Have you spoken to her sisters to hear their side? Does the elderly woman have all of her facilities? Can you trust her words to be valid?
There is a lot to consider. If you have strong suspicions about her safety then speak to someone in authority about it.
Wishing you all the best.
Often people with dementia or cognitive decline seem quite "normal" to people who don't live with them. They are confused about things that happen (or didn't happen). Many on this forum will tell you how their own mothers accuse them over and over of stealing items and money. Some have called the police on the very people providing their excellent care. I'm saying that the $10K floor story and physical abuse could be completely a figment of her dementia. You have no way of knowing.
If you really want to help her/them I would see if there's adult children or any relative in proximity to them. If you find any let them know what's going on. They may or may not assume a caregiving role but let them be the ones to call APS, if necessary. Definitely call 911 in any medical or criminal emergency. If you don't locate any relatives then contact social services and report the situation (APS).
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