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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
First, my thoughts are with you at this time. I hope you are okay, as well as those who may be with you at the end of your loved one's journey.
I wish I could remember some of the signs, since it only was 18 months ago when I watched my father's partner leave. He was in a hospital for 6 days, and then released into at-home hospice, but he was only at home for 14 hours. He was in a hospice facility for the last 14 hours.
I had the little booklet and the folder from Hospice describing the process... and basically what I learned is that there are as many "signs" as there are people. I didn't know Gene was dying - I mean, actively dying - because he didn't match my expectations. I wish I had realized well before that long night at home that everyone has their own journey, although we all end up at the same destination.
So looking back now... the lack of appetite or thirst in the few days before he died, and more sleeping was a sign he was leaving us. Hallucinations - sometimes he recognized me, other times, he actually told me to get out of the house because he didn't recognize me, other times, he was talking to someone or something out there... constant picking at his sheets and skin in agitation. He'd just grab my arm and hold on with enough strength that I had bruises. Sometimes holding his hand would calm him down. A sudden burst of energy at the very end - once he was at the hospice facility, clean, and medicated, I went back to their house to talk to my father and get him to come see Gene. Apparently, he managed to get out of bed and out of his room! He hadn't walked in a week! It's apparently common for some.
I don't remember his skin mottling, but apparently, it is common. I remember the "fish breathing" in the last couple of hours, and it was so irregular. His hands were cooling too. At this point, I just started talking to him and letting him know it was okay to go. My father refused to be there, so it was just me, and I just told him about everyone who called, who loved him, and that they all said he could go if he wanted. And then he was gone - very quietly. I only noticed his hand was cooling suddenly actually then noticed his chest was no longer rising.
It wasn't awful or scary at the end (my biggest fear). It was peaceful.
Again, my condolences through this difficult time. May there be peace for your loved one as they transition. May you find peace during the process.
Bodily functions slow down; if there is urine output it will be dark; nail beds can turn a translucent light shade of blue due to lack of oxygen circulating; a person may be unresponsive and appears to be asleep; sometimes a person acquires a very light shade of yellowish skin tone due to the liver failing or a person can have no color at all; extremities can feel cold to the touch again due to inadequate blood supply.
Not everyone experiences all of these things but when some or all do occur death is imminent.
Skin mottling as well. This usually begins in areas like the feet. Blood is being shunted to the major organs during the process of dying . My mom felt warm from the waist up but below her waist her skin was mottled & warm.
My thoughts are will you during this terrible time.
My dad had a very different experience with his last few days. He was off food and liquid for 15 days. Normal range is 5-10 days. Here were his signs: -stopped opening his eyes -stopped gripping my hand -face became sunken -wet rattling breathing -facial gestures stopped This went on for a few days. The Hospital staff could no longer predict his eventual passing. I went back to work on the 15th day and I got the call at 7:50 that morning. My advice is to say everything you want to say and then say goodbye. Tell your loved one that you will be okay and that it is okay to let go. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I think I am at peace now because I left nothing unsaid.
Adding breathing irregular...fast then slow or shallow, periods of apnea where they stop breathing for more then 10 seconds repeatedly, increased breathing rate, ive seen up to 40 breaths a minute, agonal breathing (sometimes called fish out of water breathing...very end of life), rattled breathing and no not everyone mottles
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wish I could remember some of the signs, since it only was 18 months ago when I watched my father's partner leave. He was in a hospital for 6 days, and then released into at-home hospice, but he was only at home for 14 hours. He was in a hospice facility for the last 14 hours.
I had the little booklet and the folder from Hospice describing the process... and basically what I learned is that there are as many "signs" as there are people. I didn't know Gene was dying - I mean, actively dying - because he didn't match my expectations. I wish I had realized well before that long night at home that everyone has their own journey, although we all end up at the same destination.
So looking back now... the lack of appetite or thirst in the few days before he died, and more sleeping was a sign he was leaving us. Hallucinations - sometimes he recognized me, other times, he actually told me to get out of the house because he didn't recognize me, other times, he was talking to someone or something out there... constant picking at his sheets and skin in agitation. He'd just grab my arm and hold on with enough strength that I had bruises. Sometimes holding his hand would calm him down. A sudden burst of energy at the very end - once he was at the hospice facility, clean, and medicated, I went back to their house to talk to my father and get him to come see Gene. Apparently, he managed to get out of bed and out of his room! He hadn't walked in a week! It's apparently common for some.
I don't remember his skin mottling, but apparently, it is common. I remember the "fish breathing" in the last couple of hours, and it was so irregular. His hands were cooling too. At this point, I just started talking to him and letting him know it was okay to go. My father refused to be there, so it was just me, and I just told him about everyone who called, who loved him, and that they all said he could go if he wanted. And then he was gone - very quietly. I only noticed his hand was cooling suddenly actually then noticed his chest was no longer rising.
It wasn't awful or scary at the end (my biggest fear). It was peaceful.
Again, my condolences through this difficult time. May there be peace for your loved one as they transition. May you find peace during the process.
Not everyone experiences all of these things but when some or all do occur death is imminent.
My thoughts are will you during this terrible time.
-stopped opening his eyes
-stopped gripping my hand
-face became sunken
-wet rattling breathing
-facial gestures stopped
This went on for a few days. The Hospital staff could no longer predict his eventual passing. I went back to work on the 15th day and I got the call at 7:50 that morning.
My advice is to say everything you want to say and then say goodbye. Tell your loved one that you will be okay and that it is okay to let go.
It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I think I am at peace now because I left nothing unsaid.