I took care of my mother for 4 years in my home. She passed away 10 months ago. Then I was taking care of my husband who had Alzheimers and Parkinson's disease. He passed away about 5 months ago. Then my niece passed away. She lived about 500 miles away and had been very ill. I am alone and cry daily. My sister-in-law is trying to take care of me by visiting daily and telling me what to do. I wish she would leave me alone, but that would hurt her feelings. Any suggestions?
Are you sure you know what you want?
She is 55, she took care of her husband for 2 years, he died in October 23 of liver disease, 3 weeks later her dad died, who she adored,
Now, 2 weeks ago her mom broke her hip, in her 90s , so far her mom is recovering pretty well. Also her brother is on hospice.
I honestly don't know how she is doing it. Her sons friend needed a place to live and she is letting him live there for free and he is really amazing and helping her. She has very very bad days, but once in a while she has good days now. I tell her to hold on to those good days . When you have a bad day remember that there will be a better day on the horizon.
She was trying to find the answer in the bottom of a liquor bottle, I think that has slowed down , with the text I get . That's not the answer.
She is getting out more, going to anything any party or plans any one ask her to go to. It seems to be helping.
I think a support group for you and her would do wonders and her doctor want her to go to grief therapy.
Im sure your sister in law is very worried about you. Maybe you shouldn't be alone, I'm not sure . I'm thinking if you get therapy maybe it will relieve your sil and then you can tell her that you need more time alone. It is very sweet. Honestly I gave my friend a lot more space. Maybe if you tell her , today I'm ready to be alone for a day, but promise to text her on and off during the day so she doesn't worry.
I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish I had something better to say
You are grieving and depressed .
Depressed people push people away who try to help them . ( your sister in law ). I’m suspecting your sister in law “ telling you what to do “ is telling you to get help and/or do something other than cry all day . Perhaps what or how she says it is not helpful , many people don’t know the best things to say in these situations .
Go to your doctor for antidepressants , and a therapist , find a grief support group .
A professional can help you in ways your sister in law can’t .
There is nothing wrong with telling your sister-in-law that while you appreciate her concern that you really just need time to yourself now to process the grief you're experiencing, and that you will call her if you need her.
If that hurts her feelings, that is on her not you. She needs to be respectful of what it is YOU need and not what she needs. I'm sure she feels that she's doing right by you, and if you don't say something you'll never get the time you so desperately need to properly grieve the people you loved and lost, on your own terms and not someone else's.
I am sorry for all your loss. Please now make sure that you're taking care of yourself and taking all the time you need to grieve your loved ones as they deserve that much.
God bless you.
And say to yourself, I'm giving myself a week . Then after no matter
what kick yourself and force yourself to live a little. And live a little more each day.
Even if you get up and the only thing you can do is shower, that's ok, tomorrow I will shower and walk around the block.
I worry about my friend, that's going through what your going through, in the fact that she is very vulnerable, and it seems to bring out the more controlling people in her life. Like people that just want to jump in and save the day. She is to mentally exhausted to see it. So be careful of those kind of people also
🙏😞