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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Your profile loudly says nothing about your situation is good. You’re burned out and exhausted. That makes you both no good to yourself or to others. It’s time to address that change in your mother’s care is necessary. Who has POA for her medical and financial decisions? If this is you change the plan, either moving mom to an adequate level of care or hiring help in home. If it’s a sibling, tell them it’s time for change. You can’t sustain this, your health is at stake
Turn the tables on them. If they think they can do a better job than you, then do it. I realize Mom has Dementia maybe the reason she sides with them but for me that would be it. Same thing, you think your other children can do a better job than me then call them when you need something. Maybe they don't see Moms needs have changed. And you doing for her, they never will. You may just need to step back and let something happen to show them Mom now needs care.
Has she been formally diagnosed. If not she needs to be. And a letter from the doctor saying that she needs care 24/7. Then you give a copy to your siblings saying that Mom could be placed, or hire help or you continuing to care for her. But if you continue caring for her, they will need to stop criticizing what I do.
Your Mom is young. She will only get worse. There will come a time she will need to be placed because u can't do it anymore.
I wonder, were you always the sibling who was picked on. Were you always the one that did for Mom? Andvyourvefforts were never appreciated?
from your sweet answer, and so many sweet answers from so many people all over this website, on various topics…i see there are so many kind people…and so many cruel/difficult/toxic family members.
poor us.
it’s not easy.
please everyone, live your lives.
help if you want. BUT help yourself.
YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU.
“Thank you, dear me, for saving me. You almost sacrificed me.”
1. Mom's care team. Who's in - who's out. Is it just you & BF? Draw up a list of all you do. Start delegating tasks. Sibs prob won't lift a finger so hire hire hire (Mom's funds).
Thoughts?
What are the barriers to this?
Often a caregiver does such a fine job, the elder makes a big fuss if anyone non-family?
Or the caregiver themselves is reluctant to involve non-family.
Caregiving can become a lonely world without others but it takes an adjustment to let others in. I may be wrong in your case.. just what I've seen before.
2. Reassess YOUR life. Are you heading towards what you want for your life? Your big picture?
How you deal with absentee yet opinionated siblings is be direct & stand up to them. Telling them thanks for the advice but what I need is practical help.
Not everyone is or needs to be a lion to roar to do this. But finding your own way to speak up & get your own needs met is worth it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
if not possible, low contact.
if they’re often making you upset, it might be on purpose. some people enjoy upsetting others.
if possible, avoid.
courage!
Has she been formally diagnosed. If not she needs to be. And a letter from the doctor saying that she needs care 24/7. Then you give a copy to your siblings saying that Mom could be placed, or hire help or you continuing to care for her. But if you continue caring for her, they will need to stop criticizing what I do.
Your Mom is young. She will only get worse. There will come a time she will need to be placed because u can't do it anymore.
I wonder, were you always the sibling who was picked on. Were you always the one that did for Mom? Andvyourvefforts were never appreciated?
hug!!
hope you’re ok!! :)
from your sweet answer, and so many sweet answers from so many people all over this website, on various topics…i see there are so many kind people…and so many cruel/difficult/toxic family members.
poor us.
it’s not easy.
please everyone, live your lives.
help if you want.
BUT help yourself.
YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU.
“Thank you, dear me, for saving me. You almost sacrificed me.”
1. Mom's care team. Who's in - who's out. Is it just you & BF? Draw up a list of all you do. Start delegating tasks. Sibs prob won't lift a finger so hire hire hire (Mom's funds).
Thoughts?
What are the barriers to this?
Often a caregiver does such a fine job, the elder makes a big fuss if anyone non-family?
Or the caregiver themselves is reluctant to involve non-family.
Caregiving can become a lonely world without others but it takes an adjustment to let others in. I may be wrong in your case.. just what I've seen before.
2. Reassess YOUR life. Are you heading towards what you want for your life? Your big picture?
How you deal with absentee yet opinionated siblings is be direct & stand up to them. Telling them thanks for the advice but what I need is practical help.
Not everyone is or needs to be a lion to roar to do this. But finding your own way to speak up & get your own needs met is worth it.