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My Mom is living with me and my husband. She has never been a nice person and now she is worse. She thinks someone is stealing her clothes even though I show her they are hanging in the closet. She wants to go to her house up north in the woods on three levels. She is 94 years old and not in good health. When I take her to the doctor she complains because it's not her doctor 4 hours away. Then she doesn't want to take her pills.
There is drama everyday with her here in our house. She comes in the living room at 12:00 at night and says there is a problem. Someone is stealing from her. She packs her stuff in boxes and unplugs her clock all the time, like she is leaving. No driving anymore for her as she has Mac and can hardly see out of her good eye. She has hearing loss, but won't wear her hearing aids.
I want to get her into memory care. She has enough money to live another 7 or 8 years in a nice place. How do you get her checked for dementia? I am 71 years old and have worked for her my whole life. You can never do enough. There was always another project. After my step dad died she used my brother and me as her personal slaves. I am 71 years old and my brother is 70. He moved to Texas to get away from her. Thanks

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The Memory Care we decided on for my Mom came out and did an assessment to see if she qualified.

Maybe find a couple that suit her needs, and call each of them. They can send someone out to meet with you, or you can go there to get more information on qualification.
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Before you have her checked, write down a list of behaviors that are leading you to believe mom has dementia. So after the 'fact' you haven't forgotten something.

Just on paper, she sounds more than ready for placement.

Doesn't HAVE TO be a Memory Care Unit. They'd be more versed in her care, but mostly you want her cared for and watched.

YOU need to do the upfront work, and possibly someone would come to the house, but I don't know. Every facility will have it's own procedures.

She's not going to like this, so hunker down and gear up for a fight. Expect the worst and hope for the best.

At 71, you deserve to have some peace and calm in your life.
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A brain scan MRI will tell...a neurologist can order it.
hugs 🤗
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Call you county's social worker to get advise. If you can get her do a physician, they can start the process for you. Dementia is easy to diagnose with verbal tests and sometimes brain MRIs or CTs are performed.
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